June 16, 2019

Real Housewives of Atlanta Week 6 Recap

Typos are generously provided by Jose Cuervo.

Important to note I don’t follow the Housewives outside of their shows. I don’t read other blogs, or gossip sites, so I don’t know what exactly went on with Phaedra and the bomb threat, but something is no kosher and I don’t believe it. It seems strange. By strange of course I mean scripted in an attempt to give her a storyline. Bless her. Not the way I would have gone, but when you are thirsty you make choices based on desperation. In the end Phaedra is an unsavory as Apollo.

The paparazzi at her office is hilarious. Jose and me are laughing our asses off. Phaedra explains there was no “bomb”, only “bomb” music. Dear Lord. This is mental and Phaedra should be ashamed of herself. The staff meeting is stupid and I want to know who is believing this. Anyone? I am going to need to make a cocktail and pray it kicks in quickly. Oy vey. Phaedra may be educated, but the girl isn’t too smart when picking husbands or storylines. Unfortunate for her kids.

Cut to Cynthia and Kenya pretending to be friends. Kenya is once again throwing Matt under the bus and I don’t get why she keeps humiliating him. I also don’t get why she is talking about Jay Z like they are friends. Cynthia giving advice about relationships is too funny to watch. I am laughing and better not spill a single drop of tequila. Peter is going on talk shows talking shit about Cynthia. There are a lot of pathetic and desperately thirsty people in Atlanta.

We jump to Kandi, Todd, and their restaurant. I just can’t. Has anyone seen a good storyline in Atlanta? Anyone? Surely one of these woman can find something interesting to share. It is week 6 and still nothing. Time to be reminded exactly how dumb Porsha is. The lease on her house is ending in 45 days and she is going to by a new home. She thinks 45 days is three weeks. She has clearly traded brain cells for beauty cells.  I’m guessing she won’t be Mrs. Stewart again.

Mama Joyce is trying to get dirt on Phaedra because Phaedra is out to get Kandi. I don’t think Phaedra cares about Kandi enough to be out for her, and furthermore, why is it any of Joyce’s business? Joyce says he wouldn’t piss down her throat if her guts were on fire”. That is one classy grandma right there. Mama Joyce is mentally unstable and this is not about protecting Kandi as much as it is about protecting Kandi’s wallet so the money keeps flowing to her.

This lawyer must also be thirsty to not only allow this meeting, but put it on camera. Phaedra is talking about her divorce, why it is dragging, and her hope to end it soon. They are going back and forth to Phaedra and Joyce and I am doing a shot of tequila to take the edge off. Phaedra says she made it a point to not say negative things about Apollo to protect her kids. Really? Does Phaedra not think filming shit is as bad as saying shit? She is doing damage to those boys.

Kenya is on a mission to humiliate Matt one more time, but first we are going to a tasting with Kandi, Joyce, her sisters, and the girls. Sheree comes without her Mama Joyce wig and while the food looks great, the scripting is gross. Mama Joyce’s sisters look angry and bitter. This is an ungrateful group of women. Kenya arrives and Sheree ignores her, then Sheree tries to get Kenya in trouble with mama Joyce. Sheree is a passive aggressive bitch. For real.

Phaedra walks in and Joyce jumps up and takes her away immediately to talk about divorce and prison. Kandi jumps up and shuts it down just in time for Phaedra to blow smoke up everyone’s ass with the bomb bullshit. Phaedra made it up, then tries to make it about racial profiling, and Kandi calls her fake ass out. Phaedra is disgusting at this point. Kandi isn’t interested in any of it and changes the subject to dessert, but Sheree ruins it by bringing up Riley’s dad reappearing.

Sheree brings up that Porsha dated Riley’s dad and again we are trying to invite storylines out of thin air. There is not enough Jose Cuervo in this house to get me invested in this show tonight but we’ve come too far and will watch it all the way through.  Cynthia is talking to her lawyer about her divorce and I just can’t. Who cares? Cynthia fake crying about her loser husband is funny as hell. If there are not tears, it is not crying. When will these bitches learn how it works?

Cut to Kenya and she is crying about Matt. She says he arrived to her house drunk and tried to break into her house when she wouldn’t let him in.  Kenya cries off camera to one of the producers and it is sad. Then Matt calls and begs her to take him back one more time and he will promise to change. The phone call is tragic and scary. She loves him, but he is abusive and I would not trust him if I were her. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Matt comes over and is immediately pissed off the camera crew is still there. Kenya says the filming is party of her life and he is either in or out and he yells that she treats him like he is disposable. He is agitated and Kenya should feel lucky the crew is still there filming. Kenya says she could bury Matt if she could, but does not file police reports because he loves him. Really? There is more to this story than Kenya is telling us and she needs to end this relationship NOW.

This is sad to watch and I’m sure troubling for anyone in a similar situation. Kenya tells Matt he is trying to blame her for his actions. She asks if he will also blame her for his hitting her. I love Kenya. Always have. It makes me sad to watch her in pain and wish I could hug her for all the times her mother didn’t. Next week Kandi will confront Phaedra so I’m going to get some Cuervo in this house. I’m watching, drinking, blogging, and waiting for a storyline that will keep it real.