June 25, 2019

Real Housewives of Atlanta Week 3 Recap

Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.

It is too early in the season to make sweeping statements about this show, but I love it and am not feeling the lack of Nene because Sheree is bringing us what we need. If Cynthia were gone it would be near perfect, but I will give her a chance to find a storyline. By give her a chance of course I mean there is no shot in hell this woman will become interesting. I don’t get why they keep her. She puts me to sleep so I’ll continue to drink tequila and skip over her. It has to be done.

We begin with Phaedra, Porsha, and Sheree having lunch. We also have Kenya working out with Matt, who she is back together with. They are going back and forth between the two conversations, which Jose and me are never a fan of. Sidebar: When did Kenya’s boobs get so big? Yikes. Sheree is talking shit about Kenya’s house but Kenya could not possibly care any less because she is about to meet Matt’s entire family and face the Cougar Squad. Good luck.

We jump to Kandi, who has the most gorgeous baby. She is in a scripted meeting when the girlfriend of her daughter’s dad comes in for an “unexpected” visit. Dear Lord. This is a stretch. The woman is dating Riley’s dad and is a singer. She wants to see if she can bring Riley and her dad together, but Kandi wants nothing to do with him, and apparently neither does Riley as he has not been in touch with her for years and Kandi says they are done trying. This woman has nerve.

Riley is almost 14 and Kandi doesn’t want her daughter to be hurt, but Todd thinks Riley should know her dad. This is going to get real ugly, real fast. Back to Kenya, she is heading to Matt’s family reunion. She complains an awful lot and 8 hours in the car with her would result in bloodshed. Hers. Cut to Sheree, who has gone over to Bob’s house. This is weird. Nice they’re friends, but Sheree should not be going backward with this guy. Do not take him back Sheree. Don’t do it!

We jump to Cynthia and I’m bored before they say a single thing. Her sister and mother come over, and her daughter is there, and Cynthia’s sister Mal says she is friends with Peter. Oh. My. God. Why the hell is she talking to him? She hates him! Is Cynthia’s divorce going to be dragged out all season? She never should have married him and we are not invested in her or him, so this is a sleep fest. I am just going to skip over everything with Cynthia. Sorry. Not really sorry.

Porsha and Phaedra are going for a hike and Porsha announces that she wants to have a baby with an ex. She does not want to be in a relationship with him, just have a baby with him.  He already has two kids, but she wants his sperm. Porsha really is quite dumb. Bless her. Porsha wants Phaedra to help her with a “baby-nup” so he can’t come and take the kid. Dear Lord. This poor girl is as pretty as she is stupid. Good luck with the sperm donation Porsha. Whatever.

Time for Kenya to meet Matt’s family. I like Kenya but she is wasting her time on this young man. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. She needs someone older and wiser. That said, love is hard to find so if she is happy, mazel tov. Matt’s parents are great, his sister is ridiculous, and I’m about done. Cut to Kandi, she tells her daughter, on camera, that her dad wants to see her. Really? I think this is bad parenting 101. No cameras for this shit!

We meet Porsha’s sperm donor and he is very attractive. She tells him she wants a baby, but no husband, and thinks he’d be a good donor. He tells her he’d like to be more than just sperm and they should take their time and build a family together. She says she’ll think about it. Ugh. So strange. This girl is ridiculous. I like her though, and hope she gets a man and a baby. She’s going to need help because I’m not sure she can raise a baby on her own. Bless her silly little heart.

Back at the family reunion, Kenya is lovely with these people. I dig Kenya. Always have. I get why the girls don’t like her, but she’s a good egg. Matt’s mother tells her she’ll be a good daughter-in-law and it is lovely. It is sad and wonderful that Matt’s mother accepts her when her own mother can’t. I want Kenya to be happy. We leave the reunion and head back to Atlanta in time to watch Kandi and Sheree work out. Kandi working out is everything. I love Kandi in the gym.

Kandi tells Sheree about Riley’s dad coming back in the picture and as she starts to tears up, we cut to her ex. Really? This is scripted bullshit that they are filming with him now. I think it is gross to show this garbage and there is no way he is on the show without Kandi’s permission, so what is the agenda here? We learn Porsha dated the guy, and I’m done. This man is a fame whore douchelord and Kandi is gross to allow it. (Important to note I only write about what we see.)

My heart breaks for Kandi. We watched her try years ago to help him be with his daughter, and her obvious anguish hurts my heart. This man does not want a relationship with his child, he wants 15 minutes of fame while he grabs onto Kandi’s coattails. I freaking love this show. They make me want to watch with the volume off, then they suck me back in. We are just beginning but I am hooked. I’m hoping for a Nene cameo, will buy more tequila, and always keep it real.