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How Teen Volunteers Benefit from Special Needs Buddy Programs

[additional-authors]
October 31, 2015

I was cleaning up under our son’s bed yesterday and came across a small photo album from Danny’s time at the special needs Tikvah program at Camp Ramah California this last summer . I had somehow missed it when I unpacked his huge duffel bag. The album was titled, “Chaverim (Friends) 2015” and it had photos of Danny, along with his two assigned buddies, two cute high school kids, one male and one female.

There were photos of the three of them wearing funny hats, swimming together in the pool (Danny’s favorite camp activity), and dancing together on the stage. There were also sweet end-of-camp notes from each of the buddies. The teenage girl wrote, in part, “Thanks for making this month memorable for me.” I have no doubt that she and the other buddy will think about Danny quite a bit, and they will have learned much about non-verbal communication, being more open to people who seem different than them and the universality of having fun together. But I don’t think that Danny will remember them in the same impactful way, although he certainly enjoyed their company and pointed happily to their photographs.

You see, for Danny, these two teen buddies, however kind and caring, were just two in a long line of great typical peer volunteers who have spent time with him. Thanks to many community-based agencies, Danny has had buddies assigned to him over many years through many groups such as The Friendship Circle, ETTA, Yachad, AYSO VIP soccer and Challenger/Buddy baseball (yeah, he’s one busy guy). Sometimes it is just for a few hours at one event, and sometimes it is over a span of weeks, or even months, but the relationships don’t ever seem to extend beyond the assigned activity. Danny seems fine with that, as he has deeper relationships with his teacher and therapists, paid aides, our long-time babysitter and her kids and of course, family members.

But for the typical kids, hanging out with Danny may be the only time in their life that they have a 1:1 experience with someone who has developmental disabilities, because so many of the kids in Los Angeles go to private or charter schools that don’t include people like him. And even if they go to public schools, they aren’t likely to say much more than “hi” passing him and his aide in the hallways. We have run into college-aged kids who remember being Danny’s aide from many years ago, and they usually remember well his favorite sayings and expressions. These volunteers internalize what they have learned from their time with Danny and it just stays with them.

As Anna in the film “The King and I” sings:
“It's a very ancient saying,
But a true and honest thought,
That if you become a teacher,
By your pupils you'll be taught. “

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