September 16, 2019

The Search For Clarity In The Face Of Struggle

Photo from PIxabay
Everyone is wearing a mask in this world. Every single one of us, including me. But, I am taking the mask off this very moment. I refuse to let fear take over my life. I choose to be courageous. I choose to be vulnerable. I choose to be authentic. I choose to be ME.
We are all marred with limiting beliefs, self-doubts, and shame.
 We have the choice to believe these negative stories we tell ourselves or we can shift the narrative to an uplifting story of self-love.
I recently had surgery to remove a 12 cm ovarian cyst. A moment I have chosen to believe as one of the greatest blessings God has given me, aside from my lovely husband and fur-baby Shelby, of course.
My surgery truly served as a reawakening. The sort of reawakening that has enabled me to work towards addressing the mental torture I’ve put myself through for so many years.
My road to recovery has started to develop a heightened level of self-awareness.
I began to notice the replaying of negative scripts I tell myself from the moment I wake up to the moment I lay my head down to rest.
I tell myself I am a socially awkward freak and that I can’t hold an intelligent conversation. I tell myself I am too dumb to ever be successful. I tell myself I am not good enough to leave an impact on this world.  How self-loathing and outright cruel am I to myself, right?
Then I start playing the laundry list of judgmental thoughts others have labeled me with— the most popular being that I am “too quiet and too shy.” It is the two common characteristics that are sadly perceived as weaknesses in a society built upon praising the extroverts of the world. It’s actually a side note I need to address briefly as I so badly feel the need to stand up for my fellow “quiet” and “shy” comrades.
 If you’re one of the quiet and/or shy folks like me—you are part of a fantastically awesome tribe. Your quietness is beautiful. There is nothing wrong with being introspective and exercising your incredible listening skills. Your shyness is a superpower. The people who truly love you will adore your shyness and overtime it will grow into catapulting you into further embracing your true inner you.
So, now here’s the part where I should be saying that I’ve totally turned into the queen of positivity.
You’re probably expecting me to tell you that I completely overcome the negative self-talk. You’re probably thinking I am about to reveal that I have totally eliminated all my self-doubt and shame.
 The reality is—I haven’t. I am a work in progress. I am taking it one step at a time. The only thing that has truly shifted for me is that I now feel empowered to share my struggles. Why? Because I know there are people just like me right now battling with the very struggles I am working so hard to overcome.
 So, I want you to know, you are not alone. I want you to know that you are ENOUGH. Your imperfections are part of what makes you beautiful. You deserve GREATNESS. These are the scripts I have started to recite to myself. I invite you to use these mantras or to rewrite and recite whatever resonates with you so that you can start your very own journey through self-improvement and self-discovery.
I remain hopeful that my vulnerability will inspire you to stand tall in your truth.

I challenge you to not only share your wins, but even more so to share your moments of insecurity, self-doubt, and shame. For it is the moments where we open up about our pain that embolden deep human connection. It is then, when we can work together to overcome anything.


Berenice Famili is the CEO and founder of the Jewish emoji app Shalomoji and a Los Angeles based writer who covers lifestyle, health, and entrepreneurship.