Bethenny, Montreal Feels Like You’re in a Different Country Because You Are

Bethenny, Bethenny, Bethenny.  I once again watched and while there are moments this week that I liked you, as soon as it sets in that you are back to your old self, I remember that you are so aware of the cameras that nothing you do or say is real and I snap back to the reality of your fake reality.

We start with a skating lesson with you and Ethan for SWTS and you are complaining.  Remember when they asked you on the perfectly timed for filming phone conversation, and you talked about how much you wanted it and the sacrifice of time would be worth it because it was a dream come true?

I know you remember so why are you complaining.  We are so sick of haring about you and your busy life.  As for your California drug reference to Ethan, we don’t all smoke weed in California and your implying that he is a pot head was mean and gross, which is becoming your MO.

Furthermore, your coming to the skating rink at 6:00 am is not the most exciting thing to ever happen to New Jersey, and New Jersey has more than just bars.  Your humor used to be funny and surprising, but now it’s just mean and makes you sound ignorant, not smart and funny.

You go with Jason to get jeans and you are mortifying.  To constantly be talking about how cheap your husband is, is not cool.  To ask him who he is talking to, when you hear him in the change room, is ridiculous since he’s changing in front of a camera with a mike.  He’s talking to us.

How is Bravo planning to pull out another year of this show when we spent 10 minutes watching Jason buy jeans?  Seriously.  Bethenny wants to have people over for Thanksgiving.  Clearly this show is scripted because there is no way in hell this woman would invite people over to her home.

They are moving their dining table out and it’s fascinating when Bethenny freaks out when Jason tries to be funny.  She is the only one who can be funny.  If someone else tries it’s bad, and if they are actually funnier than her, all bets are off and she loses her mind.

Julie reads some stuff off the Internet about Bethenny’s mom and Bethenny tells us she will never speak to mother again.  By never speak to her again, I’m sure she means she will not talk to her until it is good for the ratings, at which point she will talk to her, make up with her, then bash her.

The bath time with Bryn is sweet but so incredibly fake we’ll just skip over it.  Jason and Bethenny get on the Skinny Girl private jet and it’s sickening. Bethenny is a product placement whore and their talking about her brand every minute of the show is just too much.  I am so over it.

We’re skipping over the the plane.  Bethenny and her sarcasm toward Jason and his hometown make me want to slap her.  Not slap her because that would be mean, but accidentally trip her as she walks by in her insanely high heels, which she wears at inappropriate times.

They are shopping in and Bethenny tells us she always wanted to collect snow globes.  She takes a minute to get there, but finally says it’s to recapture the youth she did not have.  Blah, blah, blah.  In an episode where there was no need to talk about her childhood, she finds a way.

Jason says he can’t forget Bethenny had a rough childhood.  Know why?  Because she never stops talking about it.  Jason is likeable but falling into the abyss that is Bethenny and her lies.  Walk to the light Jason and when you get there, grab the baby and run.

Jason and Bethenny are walking down the street and the conversation makes me want to jam the batteries from the remote into my eyes.  They are talking about how great the trip is, how wonderful Montreal is, and that being there feels like they are in another country.  Really?

Do Jason and Bethenny not realize Montreal is in another country?  It’s called Canada.  Canada and the United States are two different countries.  Dear Lord.  I’m not sure I can make it through the episode.  I am fast-forwarding and about done.  Thank God for TIVO.

In bed talking about farting?  Skipping it.  She has an idea for a new drink?  Skipping it.  Touring the plant and watching Skinny Girl products for 10 minutes?  Skipping over it.  Fake cries and sniffing at how far her little idea has gone?  I’m skipping over it all and having a real margarita.

Bethenny informs us that she is the only woman in the liquor business.  The only one.  Really?  I want to know if that’s true.  I find it hard to believe that not only did she invent the margarita, but in the entire world, she is the only woman who is a power player in the liquor business.

Love her or hate her, we watch her.  I don’t believe anything she says anymore and I think we will see her mother on this show before it’s all said and done.  Bethenny will bring her on, then crush her, then cry about how horrible it was.  It’s just a matter of time before it happens.

Bethenny should be very proud of everything she has accomplished.  Imagine how great it would have been however, if she had gotten where she is on talent, not lies and manipulation.  It’s too late now so all she can do is pray karma is too busy to pay attention, and keep the faith.