The Bachelorette & The Rabbi’s Daughter

Let me begin by saying I love The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows.  Not only do I love them, but I believe the process can work.  There have been contestants over the years I have loved, and others, not so much.  I have never however, had such a dislike of any contestant, as I have for the current bachelorette, Ali.

You can agree or not, you can love Ali or not.  These are just my opinions, and lucky for me, I’ve got a blog and get to put them out there.  So here we go:  The show starts with Ali going on a helicopter ride with Roberto.  Really?  Does she think we do not remember that last year she said she missed out on family vacations because of her fear of flying?

She is not afraid of flying.  She figured the quickest way to the heart of Jake, a pilot, was to pretend she was scared, so he could protect her, and cure her fear.  He would be the hero, fall in love with the damsel in distress, and keep her on the show long enough to secure her coming back.  Not buying it.  Epic fail.

Roberto is handsome and charming. They are going to walk a tight rope, between two buildings.  Seriously?  She says going through something stressful like that, shows you who a person is, and that’s important.  Really? Remember when she bagged on Vienna, for saying the exact same thing about her bungee jumping with Jake?  Whatever.

Roberto tells Ali he’s been to Italy, and she says, “Wow.  You’ve been everywhere!”  This girl is painful.  She then pulls out the skank card, and says she can always tell whether she can “be with someone”, by how they cuddle.  I think Roberto is really great, and I want to save him, by telling him to run.

The next date, is with a group of the guys, to shoot a music video with The Barenaked Ladies.  Frank is in love, and mortified to watch her kiss everyone. John C. is in the one scene that has no kiss or contact with her.  Jonathan, the weatherman, loses his mind.  They have a kiss, and he cries because he is so moved by the whole thing. 

This poor guy is heartbreaking, and needs to go home before his head explodes.  Jesse kisses her, Chris M. kisses her, and Chris L. kisses her.  Everybody kissed her.  One man after the other, kissing in front of a camera.  That sounds like……

Justin, walks the two miles to Ali’s house for a surprise visit.  He is a celebrity whore, who wants to be famous, and that is the only reason he is there. He has a lot in common with Ali.  Hunter is next with a one-on-one date.  They are staying in, and cooking dinner.  He is super sweet, and will be a great dad and a wonderful husband.  She sends him home.  He’s a lucky boy.

Justin pleads his case, and Ali compares him to Vienna.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  Steve wants some time, so he sets up a little picnic, with champagne.  He can’t get it open, and it’s charming. Meanwhile, the boys are complaining about Justin, and everyone wants him out of the house, because he’s not real.  The men are being mean girls, and it’s entertaining.

Roberto goes to Ali and tells her Justin is a snake.  She tells him Justin walked to her house.  Roberto runs to the guys, and tattle tells.  They all bag on Justin.  They’re just pissed off they didn’t think of it first.  Justin admits it, and owns it.  Best line of the night is Craid R., the lawyer, saying he does bull$%#@ detecting for a living.  Justin cries because everyone is being so mean to him.

Rose ceremony:  Hunter is already gone, and the other two given the boot, are Steve and John C., both of whom are shocked, and pissed off.  I watch this show because I love it, and because I like to watch the men get sent packing, which in this season, is a good thing.  They picked the wrong girl to be the bachelorette, and I feel stronger about it each week.

I’ve got a better bachelorette for you Her name is Heather, she is 5’7”, has long red hair, and brown eyes.  She lives in Los Angeles, is 30 years old, and her picture is posted with this blog.  She is a great cook, loves movies, concerts, and Andy Griffith.  She would like to meet a nice Jewish guy, get married, and have a baby.  In that order.

The best part is that her dad is a Rabbi, so if you marry her, she can get a deal on the officiating.  If you’re interested, drop me a note and I will put you in touch. Every time I blog about the Bachelorette, I am going to name my own bachelorette.  If you’re interested in being next week’s featured single, write me.  Let’s find love at the Jewish Journal.

At the end of the day, I don’t care about Ali.  It’s just television, and no matter how much I dislike her, I won’t stop watching this fabulous show.  I’m in until Ali chooses her victim.  It will end, The Bachelor Pad will begin, and all will be well in the world of reality television.  As for my friend Heather, the man of her dreams will get in touch, so I’m keeping the faith.