The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Danielle Is Mommy Dearest, Only Worse

This group of women is the most compelling, of all the housewives, from all the cities.  I’m not sure why, but perhaps it’s because even with their wealth, they seem like they are the most like us.  By us, I mean average women, trying to raise their kids, and give them a better life than they had themselves.  They seem genuine and sincere.  Well, as much as you can on a reality show I guess.

We start off this week with Jacqueline, talking to her young son CJ, while baby Nicholas plays on the floor.  She is telling him she is sorry he heard her fight with Ashley, and that Ashley loves and misses him.  It’s very sad.  She is raising these two boys, in a life of privilege, with a strong male influence, and at the same time, she has lost control of her daughter Ashley.

She had Ashley when she was very young, was quickly divorced, and struggling to raise a little girl on her own.  It must be hard to have such a different life now.  Her life is blessed, but there has to be guilt about not having the same things when Ashley was little.  I feel for Ashley, and for Jacqueline, because she blames herself for something that is not her fault.

Over at Crazyville, Danielle comes home to a dozen roses that Jacqueline has sent to her daughter, Christine, to congratulate her on the modeling success.  Rather than just put the flowers in her daughter’s room and forget about it, she decided to talk to her 11 year old daughter about it.  The girl, Jillian, is mortified, but Mommy Dearest just keeps talking.

I feel sick for these kids, and I want to know why their father is not stepping in, and taking them away from this dysfunctional, delusional, crazy person.  It’s heartbreaking to watch her break down these two little girls, and suck all the joy out of their lives.  Danielle is a joy sucker, and must be stopped.  That no one, after watching this crazy person, is saving those girls, is shocking.

Mommy Dearest calls Jacqueline, and tells her she is grateful for the flowers, and to call her back.  Why she did not have her daughter, who the flowers were for, call and say thanks, is unclear.  She then gets paranoid, and starts to question Jillian, as to what the real reason Jacqueline did not answer the phone.  If that little could have disappeared right then, she would have.

Two minutes later, she asks Jillian to leave, and calls Jacqueline again.  She leaves a rambling message that is just plain crazy.  It makes no sense, is about the past, and completely delusional.  This woman is using her kids as a way to somehow cleanse her soul.  It is disturbing, and not at all entertaining.  I’ve said it before, and will say it again, these kids are not safe with their mom.

Dina is stunning.  Really a beautiful girl.  For every ounce of beauty that this woman possesses, her cats have twice as much ugliness.  These are simply the two most unattractive cats I have ever seen.  Seriously.  Really ugly.  I love cats, but these two are creepy ugly.  Dina seems sad.  Not sure what her deal is, but she’s changed from last season, and just seems lonely somehow.

Caroline is my favorite housewife, from any season, and any city.  This chick rocks.  I love her balls, her heart, and how she is as a mother.  I dig how she adores her husband, loves her family, and puts them first.  She is spunky, honest, intimidating, and a pussycat.  I love her, and she is the glue that keeps this group of people together.  She is the voice of reason in all the chaos.

Mommy Dearest is hanging around, mentally damaging her children, and talking about the modeling career of one, and telling the other she will follow in her sister’s foot steps.  Just as she is getting Christine started, she is thinking about how to whore out the little one.  This chick is selling the souls of children, for her own benefit, and it’s disgusting to watch.

Teresa takes her girls shopping, again, and its hilarious.  That she is able to do this, with 3 little kids, and about to burst with another one, is amazing.  Bravo for having it in you to do it Teresa.  She drops two grand on clothes, and it’s all good. She tells Gia she should get a job, to which Gia responds.  “I’m too pretty to work.”  These kids are hilarious. God Bless whoever marries them, because they are going to be screwed.

Dina has an “energist” come over, and smudge her house, because it’s better than taking a Xanax.  Really?  Interesting choice.  The chicks name is Zen Jen and she’s kooky.  That said, if it makes her feel better, all the power to her.  Zen Jen tells Dina that the best thing she can do for herself, is have a face to face meeting with Danielle, to clear the air.  Fifty bucks says Zen Jen is on staff at Bravo.  Maybe try a Xanax next time Sweetie.

Mommy Dearest is bashing the father of her children, to the realtor, in front of her children.  She keeps talking about her home.  Reality check Danielle, you are a stripper, with a criminal record, who married well.  It was never your house sweetie, it was his house, and when he left you, you should have gotten a job, instead of spending all your time complaining.  One more thing, shut up.

It’s fashion week and Gia is walking in a show.  Her dad pisses her off in the car, and she starts crying.  He is tough on her.  In the beginning it’s cute, but he goes too far, and in the end it’s just too much.  He needs to know when to stop.  There is nothing cute about making your kids cry.  I love Teresa and her kids, but Joe needs to learn when enough is enough.

Listening to Mommy Dearest talk about Christine, and her modeling career, makes me cringe.  This chick is seriously crazy.  Her kids cannot stand to be near her, and we can all see it.  Christine is at her modeling agency, practicing for her show, and she can’t stand to do it with her mother watching.  Danielle is advising her, and trying to help her, and all it does it irritate her more.

She eventually gives up, and refuses to practice in front of her mother.  She bails on the practice, and let’s everyone now why.  We get a close up, profile shot of Mommy Dearest’s face, and it’s scary.  She is so tight, plumped up, and botoxed, that it’s frightening.  Is it just me, or could Teri Hatcher play her in the made for television movie, about how she goes to prison?  They look like twins.  One pretty, and one deranged.

Gia is adorable, and clearly doing the whole modeling thing because she loves it, not because her mother is pushing her.  Christine is gorgeous, and a very sweet girl.  I want so much for her to be okay.  It will never happen, as long as her mother is around, but one can hope.  Danielle makes every single thing that Christine is going through, about her.  She’s a selfish mother.

Danielle is talking about how Teresa was probably not pleased that Christine got on the cover of a magazine.  She is saying how gross Teresa is, and then we cut to Teresa seeing the cover, taking it over to Gia, and telling her to look at how pretty Christine looks.  Teresa is not one to speak badly about a child.  Danielle however, would sell her kids, if there were something in it for her.

Gia was perfect on the runway, now it’s Christine’s turn.  She is so beautiful, and wants so much to do well.  I don’t know if she has these great aspirations to be a supermodel, as much as she is thrilled to have something that will help her get away from her mother.  Danielle is not capable of talking about her daughter, without making it about her.  This chick is a lunatic.

After the show, Christine gets lightheaded, and nauseous, from not eating, and the excitement of it all.  Your heart just breaks for her. She leaves the runway, and Danielle goes to see what happened, right after she gives an interview.  She goes up to her, and never asks if she is okay.  She is more concerned with what the modeling agency thinks, than her child.

This show was filmed last year, and we can just imagine what damage has been done to Danielle’s children since then.  I don’t understand why her ex-husband does not step in, and save his kids.  This show rocks, and getting a front row seat into their lives, real or fake, is fascinating.  As for Mommy Dearest’s kids, I’m keeping you in my prayers, and will, on your behalf, keep the faith.