Dancing With The Stars, Almost Stars, Wannabe Stars & Who Are You?

I was happy to see that Brooke Burke had an even chest this week.  Good dress selection.  Her hair however, was not cute.  I am hoping that at least one time this season, Brooke can pull off a good dress, good hair, and no slouching, all in one episode.  My fingers are crossed, and by crossed, of course I mean I’d bet $100 it’s not going to happen.

Jake Pavelka:  Did he actually say that he was not as good a dancer as Evan or Nicole, but that he was catching up?  Really?  Is he drunk?  You are nowhere near where they are Jake, and you are not catching up.  What you are doing, is getting better each week, and that’s fun to watch.  You wont win though Sweetie.  Why?  Because it’s dancing with the “stars” and you are a filler.  Good job this week though, and I’d like you to stay.

Evan Lysacek:  If you watched this show for the fist time this week, and did not know who the celebrities were, and let’s face it, most people don’t, it would be hard to tell who was the celebrity and who was the professional dancer.  Evan was brilliant, and Anna was gorgeous, and together they were fantastic.  The judges said they were not great, which was ridiculous.  Not only was their opinion way off, they inspired me to do what I have never done before.  Include them in my recap.

Bruno, Len and Carrie Ann:  Shut up.  Just stop talking.  We don’t care about what you have to say, particularly when it’s rubbish.  Seriously, this was the first time that I thought you were all crazy, by first time, of course I mean the first time I blogged about it.  It’s typical that one of you will be way off, while the other two will see the dancing like we, the audience do, but this week you were all off.  You robbed Evan of a great score, for no other reason than you were all drinking.

Niecy Nash:  She is entertaining.  It’s only a matter of time before she goes, but she is great.  She is fun to watch, fun to listen to, and fun to cheer on.  She is getting better every week, even if it’s by miniscule amounts.  She is having a ball, and that is a pleasure to be a part of.  I think she is beautiful, her body is fabulous, and I love her a little bit more because of how she loves herself.  Bravo.

Erin Andrews:  Don’t know who she is.  Don’t get her.  Don’t like her.  Don’t think she is a celebrity.  Don’t think she is charming.  Don’t think is funny.  Don’t know why she is on this show.  Don’t get why Max digs her.  All that said, she was fantastic tonight.  Great job, whatever your name is.

Chad Ochocinco:  He is getting better.  He is cute.  He is obviously having sexual relations with his partner.  He will go home soon.  They will break up soon after. 

Nicole Scherzinger: What the hell was she wearing during the practice?  Sweat pants, and a Michael Jackson inspired military jacket, that was two sizes too small.  Plus she was whiny.  Her poor me attitude its getting annoying, and we’re not buying it.  She is perfection, and the judge’s score will keep her in to the end, but it will be her attitude and personality, that gets her the win.  She needs to be careful, or she will be the best dancer to never win.  Thin line between us loving you, and you grossing us out Nicole,is very thin so be careful.

Pamela Anderson: Great dance. Insane Body. Horrible hair. She’s going home.

Love Tom Bergeron, love this show, and predict the bottom two on Tuesday night will be Pam and Jake, with Pam going home.  I’m going to miss this show when it wraps up in a few weeks.  As for next season, I have two suggestions for you ABC: Jack Osbourne and Florence Henderson.  Will they do it?  I’m keeping the faith.