Happy Birthday To Me

I turned 44 yesterday.  I can remember when I thought being in your 40’s meant you were old.  I am not old.  I am blessed to have a young thinking mind, and attitude.  That’s not to say I’m not mature and grown up, it just means that I have a young spirit.

This is the best time of my life.  While there are certain struggles that come with this age, overall it is a cakewalk.  I love who I am as a mother, a woman, and a friend.  I am in charge of my emotions, my decisions, and my sexuality.  I have never felt more powerful, or beautiful.

I love my work.  Writing is a complete and total joy for me.  In the past year, I have found my voice, a creative outlet, and the knowledge that I am a great writer.  I am proud of the fact that I write about what I want, in my own words, do not allow bullies to alter my view, and am my own editor.

I feel blessed to write for the Jewish Journal.  I have been embraced by the paper, and empowered to speak my mind.  I owe so much of my professional success to Rob Eshman and Jay Firestone.  You have been kind and supportive, and I appreciate you both more than you know.

This past year my son had his Bar Mitzvah.  To stand with him on the Bima, was the proudest moment of my life.  I could not possibly love this child more.  He inspires me every day, to live a healthy and happy life.  I am honored to watch him take his own journey.  He is the joy in my heart, and single greatest accomplishment of my life.

I love my mother.  She is a remarkable woman, and I adore her.  She is strong, and supportive.  She’s a little crazy, and I would not change it one bit.  My little brother has become a hero to me.  Since the passing of my father, he has filled a void, and I appreciate the man he has become.

I met some really wonderful friends during the past year.  Laura, I love you.  You are like a sister to me, and you and Steve have become my family.  Amy, you are the funniest person I know, and inspire me to stay young at heart.  Stephanie, Heidi, Cathy, Bob, and Jim, you rock.

My son met friends this year that I know he will still be friends with, when he celebrates his own 44th birthday.  I love these children as if they were my own.  Eric, Brandon, Jesse, Tyler, Nathan, Megan, Emily, Bear and Brian, I love you, and my home is always open to all of you.

I have wonderful friends, that I love very much.  Andy, you are my soul mate, and that’s all there is to that.  To Anjelica, I love you Jook.  To Michelle and Jeff, thank you is not enough.  To Rob, you saw something that I didn’t, and believed in a dream I never knew I had.  I love you man.  To all my friends, thank you for everything.  You are remarkable people, and I am blessed to have you in my life.

Did you think I would write this sappy look back at my year, and not mention Fiddles the cat?  I love this animal.  She gets me.  She loves me.  She is a member of my family.  My love for her is proof, that I am mere moments away from becoming a crazy cat lady.

This past year was made better with the addition of my hiking group.  Thanks to all of you for letting me into your group, even though I don’t have a dog, and am really slow!  I would not be writing this blog were it not for my two fantastic Rabbis, and Temple Beit T’Shuvah.  I am inspired daily by this remarkable place, and the people in it.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to read.  I am humbled that so many people not only read, but took the time to comment, and send emails.  I love it when people write, even when I don’t like what they have to say.  It’s a thrill when I hear from my “regulars”.  Thank you all.  You’ve helped me find my way, and I appreciate it.

I am not afraid to have a birthday.  I welcome them, because I get better with each one.  43 was great, and 44 will be better.  Thanks to everyone who touched my life.  Special thanks to every bad date I had.  Each and every horrific dating experience, with each and every horrific man, gets me one step closer to my Beshert.

Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes.  My son is the lead in his school play this weekend, so I will have 3 days of kvelling.  When it’s over, I’m going to have dinner with Ari.  Life is good.  It’s a great thing when you finally learn to breathe deeply, limit your expectations, and keep the faith.