Porn and Jews at Starbucks

This morning I went to Starbucks after I dropped my son to school.  I got a cup of tea and was walking to my car when I heard someone call my name.  I turned around and saw a man walking towards me.  There was a quick moment of panic because I didn’t know who he was, or how he knew my name.

He was about 5’ 8”, with a full head of curly grey hair, and beautiful blue eyes.  He looked like he could be a teacher or a salesman of some kind. I thought perhaps I knew him from my son’s school, or maybe we met at temple.  I was struggling to place his face, but nothing came to me.

He came over and asked if I was Ilana Angel.  I tell him yes and apologize because I don’t recall where I know him from.  He tells me we have not met, but rather that he recognizes me from the Jewish Journal.  I shake his hand and thank him for reading. 

He then shares with me that he is Jewish, single, available, and a producer of adult films.  He read my blogs about Jews and porn, and that was how he knew me.  It took me a minute to connect the dots that this charming Jewish man, worked in the porn industry.

He went on to tell me that he has nine people working in his office, seven of them are Jewish, and four have college degrees.  I am fascinated.  It makes sense that a successful business would include Jews, but it’s still surprising to me that Jews work in the adult film industry.

We had an interesting chat and he invited me to his office to talk with his staff.  They are young, focused, and hard working people who happen to work in an industry that is looked down upon.  Sam thought it was great that I was writing about a taboo subject, in a mainstream arena.

I want to say hello to Sam and his staff who are at work, doing something they love.  While I like to think I’m an open and nonjudgmental person, I turned down Sam’s invitation to dinner.  I’m just not evolved enough to date someone who works in the porn industry.

He could be the greatest man ever, and I am not willing to give him a chance because of his job.  Stereotypes are a horrible thing.  They alter our perceptions and limit our possibilities.  Can we ever really be able to live our lives without judgment?

I meet a lot of interesting people who read my blog at Starbucks.  At the end of the day, both Sam and I are looking for Jewish people to date.  I struggle with my age being a factor and Sam struggles with his job being a deal breaker.  Dating is so hard.

Life is complicated and it’s a shame that we go out of our way to make it more difficult.  It should not matter what a man does for a living.  What’s important is that he has a job that cares about, and does it well.  If only it was as simple to embrace that, as it is to keep the faith.