Tiger Woods is a Pig

I would be willing to bet that Elin, wife of Tiger, thought he was her Beshert.  She is young and beautiful, met a successful and charming man, got married, had 2 beautiful babies and all the while he was having unprotected sex with a bunch of women.  Tiger Woods is a PIG and Elin needs to get out and take everything with her and by everything of course I mean EVERY THING.  She should take the toilet paper as far as I’m concerned.

I get annoyed with the “ladies” who say they thought they were the only one because a lady would never sleep with a man she knew was married and to clarify, I am not annoyed with the women for thinking they were the only affair, I am annoyed with Tiger for being such a lying pig.  I believe them when they say they thought it was just them and I also believe that this is a seriously stupid group of women.

Perhaps if women did not hold on to the concept of a Beshert, when things fall apart we would be able to handle the loss better.  If we keep expectations low,  the fall will not be as painful as it would be if we were plummeting from the pedestals and unrealistic fairytales we create in our minds.

I had a job interview yesterday with a lovely woman for a consulting gig.  We had a good meeting and when we were done she introduced me to her boss.  I sat with the two of them for a few minutes and chatted about the job and I’m not sure how we got off topic but I ended up staying there for 2 hours as we talked about men, dating, love and the search for a Beshert.

I don’t think I have ever been on a job interview where I wanted to hug the person I was being interviewed by when I left, but this woman was very open and honest and I just loved her.  We talked about finding love and losing love and the question that came up was: At what age, or point in your life, do you let go of finding your Beshert and focus more on finding a man who loves you?

There is nothing perfect in life.  Our jobs, families and friendships all require compromise and have moments of pain and difficulty so why do we search for the “perfect” man when perfect does not exist anywhere else?  Why can’t a “really good“  man be the goal?

It is beyond crushing when you find the man you believe is your Beshert and then discover you are not his.  I have been through it and I don’t think you ever get over it.  There is a part of your heart that will always be broken and a small piece of your subconscious will never allow you to be completely free and in love again because trust is lost.  Not trust in men, but trust in yourself.

I am 43 year old, have a full and wonderful life and I want to share it with a man.  After spending the last year searching for my Beshert, has the time come to give up on finding my soul mate and focus on finding a nice man to share my life with? Is there even a difference?  If I compromise on the things I think my Beshert will have and find a really good guy, will I discover that under the really good a Beshert was hidden?

I hope Elin will be okay and her heart heals.  She has two beautiful children and will not have to ever worry about how to provide for them and that is a blessing.  She must remember that none of this was about her.  We have all met men who sold themselves as tigers and ended up being pigs.  She will survive and needs to take care of her babies because in the end they will be the ones to heal her heart.

I am tired of dating and by tired of course I mean exhausted.  I will keep trying though because I know I will find a wonderful man to share my life with.  I’m quite certain that I will not alter what it is that I am looking for, but I think that perhaps I’m ready to peel away a few layers incase my Beshert is hiding within a man who is really good.

Shabbat Shalom.  To Rabbi Mark Borovitz, Happy Birthday.  You are an inspiration.  And to Elin, you are going to be fine.  Stock up on Kleenex, love your kids and remember to always keep the faith.