Reality Check

You may be wondering why a singles blogger is blogging about reality television.  Well, it’s because she has not had a date since last week with recycled man.  Not worth mentioning and by not worth mentioning of course I mean he turned out to be horrible and I want to be lady so we’ll go to the safety of television and not discuss the time I spent with a pig.  If I weren’t a vegetarian already I would become kosher because pig is just not working for me anymore..

Dancing With The Stars on ABC –  I simply cannot understand how it is that America decided to keep Aaron Carter in the competition.  He is painful to watch and must go home.  I once went on a date with a ballroom dancer.  He was so pretty and over the top metro-sexual that I felt like I was in competition with him for his attention.  Reality check:  never date a man who uses more hair product than you do.

So You Think You Can Dance on FOX –  I think Catt is an interesting bird.  I can’t see any obvious talent but I like her and the dancers are amazing.  I love to dance.  My favorite dancing takes place in the kitchen while I make dinner with Michael Buble playing in the background.  Reality check: one day my son will go in the kitchen, grab his wife, hold her close, spin her around, give her a kiss and go back to watching the game.  At that exact moment she will look at him with pure love in her eyes.  He will call me after dinner and tell me he remembers when he was young and we used to dance in the kitchen.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta on BRAVO.  There is no way I could possibly love these women more.  I cannot believe that the word real can be used in any way to describe this show.  I want to be a housewife who hangs out with crazy friends all day, shops and drums up drama.  By I want to be one of course I mean that you could not pay me to hang out with these women and by not paying me of course I mean I would do it for free.  Reality check: I am perfectly fine being a happy non-housewife of Sherman Oaks..

The Amazing Race on CBS.  This week when the poor Jewish kid got kicked off it was sad.  Zev and Justin were a cute pair who knew each other from summer camp when they were kids. They came in first then were disqualified because Zev lost his passport and Justin said it could have been him who lost it.  It was sweet and charming and so menschy that I am not ashamed to tell you all that I cried.  Reality check:  summer camp is a defining time in a child’s life and I will never again complain about how much money it costs.  By never again of course I mean not until next summer.  I want to go on Amazing Race and have my partner be a blind date.  We could totally fall in love while criss-crossing the globe. 

Sometimes it takes a little reality television to suspend your own reality.  I am a strong believer in recycling but I don’t think I will apply the theory to men anymore.  It was a disappointing outcome but I’ll be fine.  Life is blessed and I have mastered the ability to keep the faith.