Real Housewives of Orange Country Week 3 Recap


Typos are lovingly provided by Jose Cuervo.

The only way I can blog this season is with bullet points.

Bullet points and my beloved Jose by my side.

Wish me luck, I’m going in!

  • Still at the birthday party
  • Shannon is still bitching at Lydia
  • Lydia holds her own
  • Shannon rushes off screaming F you all again
  • Dear Lord
  • Shannon needs to be hospitalized
  • David goes after her
  • Shannon now bitches at David
  • David needs to leave already
  • Lydia joined Team Vicki too soon
  • Shannon is in the car bawling
  • My. God.
  • She blames her weight gain on Vicki
  • Maybe blame it on your husband
  • Or, here’s a thought, blame it on yourself
  • I cannot stand this woman
  • Over to Peggy
  • She is recovering from a double mastectomy
  • She speaks of her cancer journey
  • Wait, does she have cancer?
  • I thought she did it because she tested positive for brca
  • She is not having a cancer battle
  • That pisses me off
  • I like Peggy and her family
  • But, she does not have cancer
  • Cut to Vicki and her new office
  • I could not possibly care any less
  • Ugh
  • I am skipping over this
  • Having a security camera won’t stop embezzlement
  • Vicki is annoying as fuck
  • Cut back to Peggy, she should rethink her eye make up
  • What is pre-invasive cancer?
  • The doctor says she was not really sick
  • Again with this show and cancer
  • I can’t
  • Over to Lydia and her magazine
  • Blah, blah, blah
  • Lydia got in trouble for saying hubs should grow balls
  • Know it
  • Tamra calls Lydia to smooth things over with Shannon
  • Charlie the Guinea pig is perfection
  • Group dinner is still on
  • Thanks to Tamra
  • Damn it, thanks Tamra!
  • Time for Meghan and her baby
  • She’s painful to listen to
  • I want to impale myself
  • You’re not a single mom Meghan
  • Fuck off
  • David works out at home while Shannon goes to the gym
  • Fat Shannon is a drag
  • Stress didn’t; make Shannon gain weight
  • It was the cheating husband
  • The trainer keeps saying WOW
  • It is so rude
  • It is also so funny
  • He has got to stop that
  • Shannon is made at herself for letting herself go
  • Why isn’t she mad at David?!?!?!?
  • Shannon says if David knows her wright he’ll be done
  • My. God. LEAVE DAVID
  • Lydia met Kelly the day before, but they’re girlfriends
  • Vicki is evil
  • They mention the restaurant “The Quiet Woman” too much
  • Translation: This is scripted
  • Women are about to not be quiet
  • Dinner is Lydia, Peggy, Shannon, and Tamra
  • Lydia wants to make peace with Shannon
  • Shannon is mentally damaged
  • Shannon is going on and on about her weight
  • Shannon tells Peggy she gained weight because of Vicki’s rumors
  • Um, no
  • Shannon gained weight because Davis was banging someone else
  • Lydia invites Tamra and Shannon to her party
  • Tamra will be out of town
  • Shannon declines because Vicki and Kelly will be there
  • Kelly walks into the restaurant
  • Probably because she was invited
  • Kelly says she had no idea they were going there
  • Scripted bullshit
  • Shannon sees Kelly and goes straight to her weight
  • She tells Kelly how much weight she gained
  • This is so stupid
  • If he camera is filming there is no “confiding” anything
  • Kelly is hammered
  • No good can come of this
  • Shannon is bawling again
  • Lydia calls on Jesus to help Shannon
  • Jesus is at my house and he is laughing
  • He also thinks I drink too much
  • Bless you Jesus
  • Kelly sits with Peggy and Tamra
  • Hammered
  • Tamra blows smoke up Kelly’s ass
  • Shannon tries to talk to Kelly
  • Kelly is not interested
  • Kelly is not cool
  • Shannon is not well
  • Shannon kicks Kelly out of the table
  • Kelly suggest Shannon needs some hormones
  • Shannon is now screaming Fuck you to Kelly
  • Kelly leaves but throws in a fat joke
  • Shannon is done, she’s done, she’s done
  • Shannon is seriously not well
  • Elly laughs on her ace
  • Lydia is mortified
  • Peggy is bewildered
  • Kelly and Shannon should not be on this show
  • This show garbage
  • I’m hooked
  • Oy vey
  • I’ll watch so you don’t have to
  • I’m a giver who is keeping it real

 

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