January 6, 2009 | 11:01 am

‘Fun Facts About Hamas’

How much do you know about Hamas?

Palestinian Media Watch can educate you on how Hamas defines itself. The Council on Foreign Relations has a decent backgrounder. And here is the Hamas Charter, which calls for the destruction of Israel.

But if you’re looking for a primer with a bit more levity, check out this satirical piece Omri at Mere Rhetoric sent me:

FUN FACTS ABOUT HAMAS

* Hamas was founded in 1987 according to some site I found with Google. I was eight years old then and wanted to be a fireman or an astronaut. Blowing up Jews had not crossed my mind.

* Hamas is Arabic for “dumb @#$% with explosives”.

* Contrary to popular belief, Hamas has nothing to do with ham. Actually, if you throw hams at them, they’ll get angry.

* Make sure to keep Hamas away from your Jews.

* I don’t like to loosely throw around charges of anti-Semitism, but I don’t think Hamas members like Jews.

* Hamas protects their armaments by hiding them among children so Israel will hesitate to shoot back. For a ground war, Hamas is planning on wearing vests covered in live puppies. Killing terrorists isn’t worth harming an innocent puppy, is it?

Read the rest from IMAO here.

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January 6, 2009 | 10:50 am

Life lessons from ‘Life of Brian’

I watched “Monty Python’s Life of Brian“ the other night, and the tune from the closing scene has been like a broken record inside my head. Singing, humming, whistling—I can’t stop looking on the bright side of life. Just writing those words caused me to whistle.

Anyway ... the funniest scene of the movie, when Brian is thought to be the messiah, is after the jump:

Read more of this post

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January 6, 2009 | 9:46 am

If a pro-Hamas, pro-jihadist protester comes to your synagogue

Palestinian wounded at U.N. school

Well, Israel sure didn’t help it’s war effort today with the IDF’s bombing of a United Nations school, which left 30 dead. (The New York Times has some photos, including the one shown here.) Pressure already was mounting on Israel to enact a ceasefire, and public response to this bombing is sure to turn up the heat.

Protests against Israel’s war with Hamas—some ugly, some comical—have occurred from here to Tampa Bay. But this Shabbat “pro-Hamas, pro-Jihadist” protesters, as Dean Rotbart calls them, may find a platform in shul.

Rotbart reports at The Memo that American Jews—who the protest organizer says are responsible for the “mass murder, occupation, and forced starvation of the people of Palestine”—are being encouraged to sit in synagogue and then at an opportune time, stand up and shout “Stop the Killing!“

“I doubt this will happen here in Los Angeles or almost anywhere, because the organizers are better at bluster than deeds,“ Rotbart writes. “But assuming that someone or some few do actually show up and interrupt services, I have some basic advice. Let them.

“These kooks are looking for confrontation and looking to generate YouTube-worthy outrage. Their goal is really publicity and self aggrandizement.

“If the Rabbi is speaking or the congregation is engaged in prayer when someone stands to protest, I would suggest that a responsible member of each congregation encourage members to finish their prayers and then be seated to “listen” to the protestors. Give them 10 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever it takes to exhaust their rhetoric. Then calmly finish services.“

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January 5, 2009 | 8:03 pm

Muslim group mad at L.A. mayor for supporting Israel

At the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles this afternoon, L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa voiced his support for Israel’s war against Hamas and invasion of Gaza:

“I’ve been to Sderot and seen the wreckage caused by a constant barrage of rocket attacks. I’ve met parents afraid to let their kids play in the streets and students unable to go to school each day. I’ve walked along empty roads, visited vacant buildings, and witnessed the sheer destruction of a town decimated by eight years of missile strikes.“

“And after all of the attacks – after all of the failed attempts to ignite the fires of peace rather than fan the flames of terrorism – any nation would take action to protect its citizens and ensure the safety and security of its residents. And no country would sit silently while innocent families are threatened and civilian lives are at-risk.“

“Israel is no different. It must act against the Hamas leaders targeting the innocent. And it must be allowed to exercise its right and responsibility to defend itself.“

Having been to Sderot, I share the sentiment. So does President-elect Barack Obama.

But the Muslim Public Affairs Council wasn’t happy and held its own news conference at the Islamic Shura Council of Southern California. You can watch what Salam Al-Marayati, MPAC’s executive director, had to say here. Al-Marayati said the Muslim and Arab community of Los Angeles was disappointed in the mayor:

“Why is the Mayor of Los Angeles dragging himself and his constituents into international conflicts in the Middle East?“ Al-Marayati asked. “If he chooses to engage in international issues, he should meet with all sides and discuss the critical perspectives and recommendations from all sides before making a decision on such an important international issue.“

“The Mayor should bring both sides together to talk about how we can prevent the conflict and violence emanating from the Middle East from spilling over onto our streets in America.“

This is not the first time MPAC has been angered by the mayor’s support for Israel’s military actions. In 2006, MPAC criticized his vocal support for Israel’s war with Hezbollah in Lebanon.

Villaraigosa, who visited Israel in June, is a passionate supporter of Israel and honorary member of the tribe.

He was joined at the press conference by Israeli Consul General Jacob Dayan, Federation President John Fishel, Simon Wiesenthal Center Dean Marvin Hier and City Councilmembers Wendy Greuel, Janice Hahn, Jack Weiss and Dennis Zine.

“I just celebrated Christmas, with the hope of peace on earth,“ Hahn said. “But I do know there will be no peace and there will hardly be room to talk until these rockets cease being fired on civilians.“

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January 5, 2009 | 10:47 am

Nazi comparisons and Hamas bathrooms

Remember the op-ed in the Arab-American paper Watan that compared Israelis to Nazis? Even before Israel’s war in Gaza, likening Zionists to Nazis has been a preferred tactic of anti-Israel activists, particularly on college campuses.

The Anti-Defamation League just sent out a news release saying that Nazi imagery has appeared at protests across the country—in Chicago, New York, Tampa, Atlanta, Anaheim and, yes, Los Angeles. The above photo, which depicts the Israeli flag with the Magen David twisted into a swastika and the words “Upgrade to Holocaust Version 2.0,“ comes from Tuesday’s protest outside the Israeli consulate in L.A.

“While we have come to expect to see such and hear this type of inflammatory rhetoric in Arab and Muslim capitals overseas, it is deeply disturbing that it is appearing in anti-Israel demonstrations at home,” ADL national director Abe Foxman said in a prepared statement. “Offensive Holocaust comparisons and the use of Nazi imagery are deeply offensive and have no place in a civil society such as ours.”

As for the righteousness of Hamas, well, let’s just say you shouldn’t use the bathroom if one of their militants invites you into his home. Yes, I understand you probably have bigger problems then finding the can if you’re roaming Gaza and visiting members of Hamas, but check out one of the places the IDF has found explosives stored in Gaza. Reminds me of that scene in “Lethal Weapon 2” in which Danny Glover is stuck on a booby-trapped toilet:

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January 5, 2009 | 10:16 am

Merry Christmas from Ahmadinejad

Why is it that whenever controversy erupts in England, the press must refer to it as a row? Latest example: “Ahmadinejad Christmas address to U.K. viewers sparks angry row.“ Instead, I’d say it a warranted outrage. (I know I’m a bit late on this, but I’m just now catching up.)

Let’s not forget who the Iranian president is, what he’s said and what he stands for. And he’s the guy that Channel 4 invited to give its “alternative Christmas message” as a counterpoint to Queen Elizabeth? Bollocks.

Not surprisingly, the British government was ripe ticked about the whole affair.

The text of Ahmadinejad’s address, which can be read here, appears somewhat benign. But reading between the lines, I had a similar reaction to that of Times of London religion reporter Ruth Gledhill:

Channel 4, as far as motives are concerned, can perhaps be given the benefit of the doubt. Their intentions might be honourably Christian.

But as the adage goes, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

This is an example of the ecumenical impulse being taken to dangerous extremes.

In his message, Ahmadinejad says: “If Christ was on Earth today undoubtedly he would stand with the people in opposition to bullying, ill-tempered and expansionist powers.“

On December 8, 2005, Ahmadinejad gave an interview with Iran’s Arabic channel ‘Al-Alam’ in Mecca in which he said: “Some European countries insist on saying that during World War II, Hitler burned millions of Jews and put them in concentration camps. Any historian, commentator or scientist who doubts that is taken to prison or gets condemned. Although we don’t accept this claim, if we suppose it is true, if the Europeans are honest they should give some of their provinces in Europe - like in Germany, Austria or other countries - to the Zionists and the Zionists can establish their state in Europe.“

In his Channel 4 message, the President of Iran continues: “If Christ was on Earth today undoubtedly he would hoist the banner of justice and love for humanity to oppose warmongers, occupiers, terrorists and bullies the world over.“

The same man has called for Israel to be wiped off the map, has repeatedly said the Holocaust is a fake, and is widely believed to be close to having a nuclear bomb. A few days ago, during an anti-Israel rally in Tehran, he warned that Israel had reached the end of the line and would soon “fade away from the Earth.“

In his Christmas Day message to the British people, however, Ahmadinejad does not name Israel but goes on to speak in comparable eschatological terms of what is to come.

“We believe, Jesus Christ will return, together with one of the children of revered messenger of Islam and would lead the world to a rightful point; to a world of love, brotherhood and justice. The responsibility of all followers of Christ and followers of Abrahamic faiths is to move towards that and to prepare the way for the fulfilment of this divine promise and the arrival of that joyful, shining and wonderful age. I hope that the collective will of nations will unite in the not too distant future and with the grace of the Almighty Lord, that shining age will come to rule the Earth.“

Although a cursory reading of the message might at first indicate so, a devout Muslim can surely not be embracing the millenarian philosophy that some read into the last book of the Bible, Revelation, and that prophesies the return of Christ and his Church to rule for a thousand years at the end of the world.

It sounds more like an invitation to embrace “umma”, the Islamic worldwide family, with an offer of a place for all the Abrahamic faiths, incuding the Children of Israel, although they are not named.

All well and good, peaceful and loving. Very Christmassy in fact.

Islam demands its enemies be given the option to convert before they are attacked.

Can this be why I am suddenly so terrified?

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January 5, 2009 | 7:54 am

Moderate Muslim becomes mayor of Dutch city

The Netherlands are still trying to figure out how to handle the “Islamization” of society. Moving to ban burkas on college campuses was, I would say, a bad idea. But today’s installation of a Moroccan-born Muslim moderate as mayor of Rotterdam, Europe’s busiest port city, represented a more significant step:

Ahmed Aboutaleb, who has dual Dutch-Moroccan citizenship, is the first Moroccan-born immigrant to be appointed a Dutch mayor. Some have compared his achievement to that of U.S. President-elect Barack Obama.

“Obama on the Maas … is maybe going a bit far,” said Jan Franssen, the Dutch queen’s representative for South Holland province, referring to the river that runs through Rotterdam. “But the significance is great. This proves that there is no glass ceiling for immigrants in the Netherlands.”

Accepting his new position, Aboutaleb immediately signaled he would work to tackle tensions between the city’s historically white Christian population and its growing Islamic immigrant community.

“Many people feel insecure in a world in which everything is changing,” Aboutaleb told aldermen at City Hall.

“There are no more jobs for life. Money can evaporate, churches disappear, mosques appear,” he said. “We must not make light of these feelings of fear and insecurity. I certainly won’t.”

Aboutaleb, a 47-year-old former journalist, resigned as deputy minister for social affairs in Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende’s government to take over in Rotterdam, which with 585,000 people has the largest proportion of immigrants of any major Dutch city.

It also was the power base of firebrand politician Pim Fortuyn, who rose to prominence on the back of his fierce criticism of Islam and was murdered in 2002 on the eve of national elections.

Before joining the national government in 2007, Aboutaleb was an alderman in Amsterdam, where he made his mark in the tumultuous aftermath of another murder — the brutal 2004 slaying of filmmaker Theo van Gogh by an Islamist extremist.

With tensions soaring and anger toward the city’s large Moroccan and Turkish immigrant populations rising, Aboutaleb went to one of the city’s most prominent mosques with a blunt message for worshippers: integrate or leave.

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January 4, 2009 | 8:23 pm

Egyptian comedian blames Hamas for recent violence

Egypt warned Hamas that sending rockets into Israel would provoke a war. Now Egyptian comedian Adel Imam, no fan of Israel, says that Hamas is getting what it had coming:

“Hamas ignored our warnings and chose to lead an asymmetrical war,“ Imam said. “It’s preferable for Hamas to stop [the rocket attacks]. They should have known that Israel wasn’t going to receive the attacks with roses.“

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January 4, 2009 | 10:45 am

Going out of existence sale

The cover of this week’s New Yorker. Inside the magazine, Patricia Marx has an interesting article on the rabbis who confirm that China’s kosher exports really are kashrut.

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January 2, 2009 | 1:38 pm

Jesus returns on a piece of pita bread

I’d like to see the face of God, too, but this piece of pita bread, being auctioned online now from New Zealand, isn’t it. I don’t care what the seller says:

“I was tempted to eat it but for some reason I didn’t. I guess what you all want to know is whether it’s a coincidence or real apparition. I’m not really sure.“

I’m pretty sure. Like the Obama toast and the Jesus french fry, visions of messianic food stem from optimism, not divine apparitions.

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January 2, 2009 | 12:17 pm

Family full of friendly terrorists removed from flight

If you’ve seen “Harold and Kumar 2: Escape from Guantanamo Bay,“ or if you’ve watched the trailer above, you can imagine how this whole scene went down. The end result is a familiar one: a family full of observant Muslims, meaning the men sported beards and the women wore headscarves, was kicked off a flight because another passenger mistook an innocuous statement for terrorist talk. The Washington Post explains:

Kashif Irfan, one of the removed passengers, said the incident began about 1 p.m. after his brother, Atif, and his brother’s wife wondered aloud about the safest place to sit on an airplane.

“My brother and his wife were discussing some aspect of airport security,“ Irfan said. “The only thing my brother said was, ‘Wow, the jets are right next to my window.‘ I think they were remarking about safety.“

Irfan said he and the others think they were profiled because of their appearance. He said five of the six adults in the party are of South Asian descent, and all six are traditionally Muslim in appearance, with the men wearing beards and the women in headscarves. Irfan, 34, is an anesthesiologist. His brother, 29, is a lawyer. Both live in Alexandria with their families, and both were born in Detroit. They were traveling with their wives, Kashif Irfan’s sister-in-law, a friend and Kashif Irfan’s three sons, ages 7, 4 and 2.

AirTran spokesman Tad Hutcheson agreed that the incident amounted to a misunderstanding. But he defended AirTran’s handling of the incident, which he said strictly followed federal rules. And he denied any wrongdoing on the airline’s part.

“At the end of the day, people got on and made comments they shouldn’t have made on the airplane, and other people heard them,“ Hutcheson said. “Other people heard them, misconstrued them. It just so happened these people were of Muslim faith and appearance. It escalated, it got out of hand and everyone took precautions.“

Irfan said he and the others think they were profiled because of their appearance. I can’t imagine there is much doubt about it. Yes, security is, as an FAA spokeswoman says in the article, “everyone’s responsibility.“ But so is discernment.

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January 2, 2009 | 11:03 am

Rabbi to Madoff: You have brought upon yourself an ‘enormous curse’

Rabbi Gellman

Because it doesn’t seem you can hear enough rabbinic commentary on the Bernard Madoff affair—actually, I do find fascinating the perspectives of leaders like Rabbi David Wolpe, Rabbi Elliot Dorff, Rabbi Harold Schulweis, et al—Rabbi Marc Gellman of Temple Beth Torah in Melville, N.Y., writes in Newsweek that, as we’ve learned, Madoff has brought a great shame upon the Jewish people:

Not since Julius Rosenberg spied for the Soviet Union has one person so damaged the image and the self-respect of American Jews. I am not comfortable with the fact that so many of the articles about you specifically identify your prominent place in the Jewish community. Ken Lay of Enron shame was never identified as a “prominent Protestant energy broker.“ The most aggressive accusers of the governor of Illinois seldom describe him as “the prominent Serbian-American governor of Illinois.“ Yes, it is unfair that your Jewishness has become part of the storyline. But you just reminded the bigots who grew up playing The Jew Game that it still strikes a familiar chord. You wiped out Joe Lieberman’s accomplishments. You revived ancient bigotry against our people. You gave credence to the horrid accusations about Jews being untrustworthy and greedy. One offensive paper has a column called “Jews in the News,“ which focuses on some Jewish criminal or other to remind their sickening readers of the legitimacy of anti-Semitism. You are not just one of the “Jews in the news” they seek. You are the apotheosis of their hate-filled world. You have given the Jew-haters material for a decade of hate gardening. You single-handedly revived the Jew game. This is what you have done.

Most of those you’ve deceived will learn to live and give in new and perhaps more modest ways. Unlike your evil, which has been stopped, nothing will stop their courage and compassion. Some of your victims will no doubt be more severely wounded in circumstance and in spirit, but none of them, I pray, will surrender to your assault. Their friends will not leave them. Their children and grandchildren will not refuse to hug them and kiss them. After their initial trauma subsides, they will, I believe, move on to cling to the blessings that cannot ever be stolen.

You, on the other hand, will lose everything—everything! From this day to the end of your life, there will be none who will trust you. To be mistrusted by everyone is an enormous curse and you have brought this all upon yourself, and for what purpose? You were supposed to be the master of risk and reward and you risked everything from everyone for what reward? You have not just made a bad calculation about how money works, you have made a bad calculation about how life works. You gave no value to what matters and all value to what does not matter at all.

Read the rest here. Hat tip: Bruce Tomaso

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January 2, 2009 | 8:59 am

Arab-American paper: Stop ‘Jewish Nazism’

Classic propaganda

My Google Reader is set up to grab anything from Google News that includes “Jews” and “Los Angeles,“ which is how I got to reading an op-ed in the Arab-American newspaper Watan. A real gem of journalism, the piece is titled “World must say ‘No’ to Jewish Nazism before it is too late” and says “Nazi and Israeli political and military leadership are nearly identical.“

The writer’s argument continues thus:

Today, Israel is decapitating Gaza while claiming that it is only fighting Hamas.  The Israeli air force is targeting and destroying schools, mosques, private homes, charities, public buildings, drug stores, colleges and universities, all under the false pretext of fighting Hamas.

This is not a war against Hamas. It is a war against the Palestinian people as is obvious from the fact that the bulk of the victims are innocent civilians.

And like all criminals, Israel is resorting to the fabrication of lies and half-truths to justify its genocidal blitz against an essentially unprotected people.

Many, probably most Jews in Israel and around the world, are bragging about the “heroic” Israeli army and its “achievements” against Hamas. Some Jews have described the slaughter as the “best Hanukah present ever.”

Some Jews have described the slaughter—and people actually believe this treyf?

As good an excuse as any, I guess.

What is happening in Gaza, for the peaceful civilians of Gaza, is a true tragedy. They are the pawns of the Arab world, and right now they are being sacrificed. I don’t agree with Israel’s tactics, and I’d like to see a peaceful resolution, um, immediately.

But firing a rocket—or in Hamas’ case firing thousands of rockets—at your neighbor is an act of war. A response from Israel was warranted. The unclear question is what response?

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January 2, 2009 | 8:16 am

Gaza Adjacent: Living under the constant threat of rocket fire

Remember the Bar-On family? They live on a small kibbutz between Sderot and the Gaza border, and in August 2007 I spent Shabbat dinner with Marcell and Uzi and their four children. This visit became the focus of an article I wrote about living under the daily threat of Qassam rockets fired from the Gaza Strip:

Moments before we met, Mayan Bar-On bolted for the center of her family’s home on Kibbutz Nir-Am along the Gaza border. Away from the windows, away from the doors, in a hallway underneath a red-tile roof that couldn’t withstand a Qassam strike, she and her 9-year-old brother, Gabi, huddled and waited for the boom.

Now, though, the 12-year-old girl is partaking in a more peaceful ritual. She lights the Shabbat candles and prays

  Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam. Asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat.

“Shabbat Shalom,“ her father, Uzi, says.

Everyone shares the sentiment and begins to pass the dinner plates, knowing that at any moment, with only a few seconds warning from a public intercom, they may have to drop everything and again—again and again—take cover.

Six seconds: That’s all the time residents of Kibbutz Nir-Am have to react. Six seconds: Less time than it took to read this paragraph ... Boom! And after they hear the boom, they know it’s safe to return to life, at least for now.

This is fast becoming tradition on the frontier of Israeli society. Between the rocket-launching Gaza fields of Beit Hanoun and the primary target town of Sderot, Nir-Am has been constantly under fire for the past six years. More than 6,000 Qassam rockets have been launched at Israeli cities and villages since September 2001, and hundreds have landed in this community of about 350.

A few months later, Marcell Bar-On wrote in a letter:

“The attacks are unprovoked, unpredictable, and continuous, and their effect has been close to catastrophical for us, both economically and psychologically. Our every action, our every waking moment, is geared toward minimizing the impact of living under enemy fire. Our first concern is always for our elderly and our children. My son Gabi, who turns ten in December, was three years old when the bombings started, and doesn’t remember life without Kassam bombs”

You can imagine then that life has felt even more precarious since Israel’s war in Gaza began last weekend. “However,“ Marcell wrote in an e-mail sent to friends living around the world, “we are of high spirits and our thoughts and prayers are with our soldiers.“

She also sent a link to the above video, which features her 21-year-old daughter, Dana, talking about what it’s like to always be 15 seconds from a bomb shelter.

“I’m afraid of listening to music while I’m in the shower,“ Dana says in the July recording, “because of what happens if I won’t hear the alarm.“

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January 1, 2009 | 11:43 am

Top Hamas official killed in Israeli airstrike

Rayyan's flattened home (Photo: AP)

“We are trying to hit everybody who is a leader of the organization, and today we hit one of their leaders,“ Israeli Vice Premier Haim Ramon said in a television interview.

What Ramon was referring to was the airstrike on the home of Nizar Rayyan, one of Hamas’ top five shot callers. JTA reports that his apartment building also served as a communications center, was stuffed with rockets and other explosives, that went off during the bombing, and that an escape tunnel was found beneath the home. Two of Rayyan’s four wives and four of his 12 children were also killed in the attack.

“Rayyan was both a religious leader of the Hamas military wing and a military commander,“ JTA reported. “He became Hamas’ top religious leader after the assassination of Sheikh Ahmed Yassin in 2004.“

It’s that last line that gets me. Terrorism outfits are like gangs. The snake does not die when you cut off its head: It just grows another. So what is the point of targeting top officials when all that really does is speed up another budding terrorist’s promotion?

Israel’s war in Gaza, now in its sixth day, has been riling a lot of emotions—old fashioned Jew vs. Jew stuff—and stoking anti-Semitism: a Jewish day school in Chicago received a bomb threat in the mail; swastikas were painted on the sidewalk outside a Jewish preschool in Camarillo, Calif.; and this blog has been getting its share of “kill all Jews”—or all “Juice”—comments.

VideoJew Jay Firestone caught up Tuesday with a protest and counter-protest outside the Israeli consulate in Los Angeles that for a moment got interesting. It follows:

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