November 14, 2018

Dating 101 – Timing is Everything

This morning I posted a blog about a man named Benjamin. We have been talking for a few days on the phone and made a plan to meet for coffee after work today. I was looking forward to spending time with him all day. I found him to be clever and quick and I was excited about meeting in person. When we made the plan last night on the phone and I immediately had a flash of worry about the time.

There is a lot of traffic on a Friday afternoon and my ride home is long on a good day, so I should have made the plan for 6:30, but I wasn’t really thinking about it being Friday and agreed to six. Traffic was a nightmare and I was running late. I texted him to say I was would be 15 minutes late because of traffic. I should have called, but I was on the phone with work, so I texted.

I was in a bit of a panic about being late. As soon as I got off the phone with work I called Benjamin to say I was stuck on the 101 and crawling to him. I decided to get off the freeway and take surface streets, but I was still very late. I arrived to our 6:00 meeting at almost 6:30. Painfully late and rather embarrassed about it, but when I saw him I quickly forgot about how late I was.

He stood, we hugged and began to chat. He then told me he was pissed off that I was late not only once, but twice. I was late when I pushed to 6:15, then late again when I arrived at almost 6:30. He said he was going to leave. I was stunned for a second and apologized again, telling him it took me 2 hours to get to him, but he was done. He had no interest in talking or spending time with me.

I said I was sorry again, and then I left. I walked back to my car and when I drove past the restaurant I saw him sitting where we had met and I burst into tears. I am now home, still crying, and mad at myself for all the crying. I simply do not understand the need to be mean to someone, particularly someone you don’t even know when we had been having a lovely time getting to know each other.

I have arrived to a date and had someone be late, but I stayed. I have arrived to a date only to find a quadriplegic with a breathing tube, but I stayed. I have arrived to a date with a man who failed to mention he only had one arm, but I stayed. It is kindness. It would have taken no effort to put aside his anger at my tardiness and had a cup of tea. His decision was simply mean and hurt my feelings.

It could have been that he saw me and used my being late as a way to cut the date off. Perhaps I was too short, or hated my blog, or simply found me unattractive, but he still could have had a cup of tea. We had spoken for hours on the phone and twenty minutes more over a cup of tea would have been nice. Perhaps he would have forgotten about my late arrival, or not, but it would have been kind.

I am sad because I like him. It is that simple, I like him. When someone shows you who they are however, you must believe them the first time, and he has shown who he is. That said, I get it. It is a sign of disrespect to be late for a meeting and perhaps my nerves caused me to act like I didn’t care about being late, but that could not be further from the truth. I respect him, his time, my time, and I am sorry.

At the end of the day timing is everything I suppose. I am sad, but it won’t last. There is nothing like a real life fairytale wedding to give me hope. Mazel Tov to Meghan and Harry. Dating is hard and while I am feeling a bit sorry for myself right now, I also feel sorry for Benjamin that this was his choice. He lost out on me, and I am fabulous. This too shall pass, so I am keeping the faith.

Rude Israeli Olympic medalist ticks off Chinese, Peres apologizes

BEIJING (JTA)—Israel’s biggest source of pride at the Beijing 2008 Olympics became its biggest blight this past week, after ” title=”interview published September 5th”>interview published September 5th in Israel’s Yediot Aharanot.

That was his answer when the reporter asked him to describe his hosts in one word.

Zubari also said he didn’t feel very comfortable during the month and a half he spent in China, and was happy he wouldn’t have to see any more Chinese people.

“They are difficult,” he said. “They don’t speak the language, their rituals are strange and even their pronunciation is weird.”
He added he didn’t like Chinese food and missed his usual food. “I can live off hummus.”

His comments could be especially damaging considering China is about to send its ” title=”Chinese citizen living in Israel”>Chinese citizen living in Israel who takes issue with comments by Israeli telecasters during the Games.

Since Zubari’s story broke in the Chinese online press, articles and posts on the web in Mandarin are numerous. They range from outrage to observations that Zubari is just an ignorant youth.

The Shanghaiist in an ” title=”Talkback”>Talkback” section on the Ha’aertz website also has international comments including some Chinese readers.

Zubari clearly offended beyond the online message boards, however, as the Chinese embassy in Tel Aviv canceled a reception for Israeli Olympians set to be held last Wednesday.

President Shimon Peres even apologized to the Chinese ambassador on Wednesday, and Ghaleb Majadle, Israeli Minister of Sport, Science and Culture made an ” title=”op-ed”>op-ed suggesting that better PR training for athletes (especially young ones like 22-year-old Zubari) could have prevented the gaffe.