Lying for the cause
There are many admirable values. The list includes, of course, goodness, integrity and compassion.
There are many admirable values. The list includes, of course, goodness, integrity and compassion.
The U\’netaneh Tokef prayer says: On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed, and on Yom Kippur it is sealed: Who shall live and who shall die, who shall perish by water and who by fire, who by famine and who by thirst . God\’s got it on His iPhone, of course.
Within the calendar that constitutes the Jewish cathedral in time, no days are more saturated with the experience of human nature, and with experiments in human change, than the Days of Awe. This is when we are asked, paradoxically, both to steep in our powerlessness to escape our species\’ fate, and yet also to try out behaviors that can rescue us from our destinies.
I don\’t allow myself to become vulnerable. I don\’t honestly share my likes and dislikes, my strengths and insecurities. I worry too much about what the guy wants to hear rather than what I truly want to say.
Some women would argue that your expectations should go down the longer you are single. I say a deal breaker is a deal breaker, and the fact that you have turned 28
for several years in a row doesn\’t mean you should dismiss core things you want in a guy.
The New Year is a time at once joyful and solemn for Jews, because it marks a new beginning for each of us. It carries the assurance that we all do get a second chance and urges us to seize hold of it.
A little embellishment here and there isn\’t so bad — creativity and a sense of humor are always great things. But there are just certain things that you should never lie about.
As the years have gone by, I realize I\’d just as soon be alone than continue to go through cycles of head-spinning effort with someone in exchange for a couple of moments of grace. So I don\’t do that anymore. And though this kind of spiritual honesty has created an ease in my nervous system (and a welcome death to that horrible intimate uncertainty of giving myself where it\’s not appreciated), I have to stop and wonder, have I become overworked and underplayed?
No disrespect to our mothers, but courtship rituals have changed since they were dating. So forget all their antiquated rules.