Big Apple, Little Time


I flew to New York City last night on the red eye, and am leaving today at 1:00. I will be in the city that never sleeps, not sleeping, for 30 hours. I am here for a quick catch up with my Aussie Posse. A remarkable group of friends from Melbourne, Australia. We met at a wedding and this is our third year together to welcome in the holiday season. They are like family and I love them. By family of course I mean they are my ridiculously entertaining and attractive drunk uncles.

I don’t know if it is all Australians, or just this group in particular, but they can drink. They perfectly time the ordering of their drinks so that as they take the last sip of one cocktail, the next one arrives without skipping a beat, or a sip as it were. They are wonderful human beings and being with them makes me happy. It also makes my liver want cry. I love a cocktail, but these people are on a whole other level. They drink three drinks to every one of mine.

I arrived yesterday at 7:00 am and have not slept. I arrived, met a friend for breakfast, did a little shopping, then a bit of work, then lunch with another friend, then the debauchery began. We had a private area at the rooftop bar at The Standard Hotel. It was gorgeous and the service was perfection. I drank 3 cosmos, and no good can ever come of that. Particularly since the truth is I lost count after 3. I drank like it was my job and I was employee of the month.

We stayed out until only about 11, then I came back to the hotel, while the Aussie Posse went to a nightclub. I took a shower, put on my super cute pajamas, and crawled into bed. As I started to doze off, the nightclub seemingly relocated to the hotel. It started off as a couple of people talking quietly in the living room, then it became a few more voices, then it became a full on rave. There were over 100 attractive, young, gay men in our penthouse and I was amazed.

I was inspired by their beauty and their bravery to live their lives out loud. By out loud of course I mean with no clothes on. There was a whole lot of naked happening and I marveled at all of it. People were everywhere and I must say as the one old lady in a sea of young gay hotness, these men had impeccable manners. As they continuously came into the wrong room and found me in bed, they apologized, offered to get me water, and told me my hair was fabulous.

Eventually I gave in and embraced the fact that I was not going to get any sleep, so I joined the party. I chatted to a lot of people, got eyelash tips from a beautiful man in a dress, learned how to tape my boobs for perfect cleavage, and saw more bits and bobs than I have ever seen in my entire life, because apparently one’s bits are an important piece of wardrobe when you are a young, fabulous gay man in New York City. It was an evening of wonder and enlightenment.

I’m happy around this special group of people. I feel safe and pampered. They are generous of spirit and my time with them makes me see the world in a new way. They work hard, and play harder. They are unapologetic about their excesses, while remaining humble. Jayson and Stephen are the poster couple for relationship goals, and should either one of them decide they wanted to shake things up and marry a Jewish old lady, I’d push and claw my way to the front of that line.

Justin is the social director of the group and I love him like a son. Andrew is the Grande Dame and nothing but kindness. Laura is my soul sister and I want for her all the thing she wants for herself. I am blessed to be a part of this family and cannot speak of them without a shout out to my beloved Gamble, who brought us all together. Even though it is kind of nutty to travel so far for such a short time, I am very happy I came to celebrate Jayson’s birthday in the big apple.

I was meant to join everyone for a Drag Show brunch at 2 and take a flight home at 8:30 tonight, but I’ve decided to take an earlier flight and head back to LA. This experience made me feel young in some ways, but old in others. I’ve never been a stay up all night kind of person, and so this has taken a toll. I am tired, and probably still drunk, so I need to get home so I can go to work tomorrow without looking like I’m in need of some serious medical attention.

I learned something new about myself over the past 24 hours, which is always a good thing. I discovered I want to come back in my next life as an attractive gay man, with a loving and supportive family, and a dentist as my husband. Thank you to Jayson, Stephen, Justin, Andrew, Claudio, Laura, Jacek, and Kassidy for an amazing time. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world and cannot wait until we are all together again. Safe travels my darling friends. Be safe and keep the faith.

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