If Norman Lear at 92 is what 92 is, I’ll have what he’s having
It is not widely known that Norman Lear and I have the same mother.
Norman once called his mother in Bridgeport, Conn., and said, “Mother, I just got this call. The Television Academy is forming a Hall of Fame. And the first inductees are going to be General Sarnoff and Edward R. Murrow and William Paley and Milton Berle and Paddy Chayefsky and Lucille Ball — and me.”
There was about a two-second beat, and she said, “Listen, if that's what they want to do, who am I to say?”
My brother and I once sent our parents a silver bowl from Tiffany’s, engraved, “For our Mom and Dad on their Silver Wedding Anniversary. With Love from David and Martin.” We didn’t hear anything, so I called.
“Mom, did a package come for you and Dad?”
“Yes, son, it did.”
“I hope you like it. Jill helped us pick it out.”
Jill was my college roommate’s girlfriend, who lived in New York. I didn’t know from Tiffany silver bowls, except that this was the best present my brother and I could think of to make them feel special. I had asked Jill, who did know from such things, to go to Tiffany’s and tell me the classiest bowl we could afford.
“Do you like it, Mom?”
There was about a two-second beat, and she said, “Listen, I’m sure Jill’s parents would know how to appreciate it.”
When I heard Norman tell that story about his mother, I was thrilled to find out I’m not the only kid who grew up thinking that sado-narcissism is normal motherly love. My father, unlike Norman’s, did not go to jail. But when Norman tells how a 9-year old feels when his father is sent to prison for three years for fraud, those feelings are mine.
Over the past few weeks, for many hours a day, aloud, Norman has been telling painful, hilarious stories about our (OK, his) mother and father, and about many others in his life, from Frank Sinatra and Mary Hartman to Jerry Falwell and Maya Angelou. He’s just finished recording the audio version of his autobiography, which is coming out in October. Its title is “firstname.lastname@example.org.