Real Housewives of New Jersey: Finale is Slow but Reunion Will Explode

No big bombshells on the final hour with the girls from New Jersey. With all the trash talk going on with twitter, I figured it would be mellow in anticipation of the reunion next week.  The housewife formula is working less and less, yet new women are lining up to be a part of a show that has a 50/50 chance of breaking up your marriage or showing your financial ruin to the world.  I don’t get it, but I’m watching, so God Bless them all.

We start off with Teresa and Melissa prepping for a family portrait with all the kids.  Tensions are high as everyone gets ready, but they are all hopeful it can be done.  Over at Jacqueline’s, Jaime, brother of Chris, is invited over to talk to Ashley.  He’s fun so I’m not sure if it’s an introduction to his being a part of next season, or just someone to fill time in a slow moving finale.  In his talking to Ashley, we discover that she has gotten tattoos.

Sidebar:  Ashley has officially changed her name to Ashlee.  Totally lame. She has a “swallow” on her forearm, which is hideous.  It’s not dainty and pretty, but rather sailor-ish and not cute.  She also has a feather on her foot, with a bird for each of her brothers.  When you show your tattoo to someone and start with “it’s supposed to be”, then chances are the tattoo sucks.  It’s ugly and looks like an inkblot on her foot that needs washing.

Ashley is explaining that she is going to move to LA and get a job.  Jaime is asking her how the move will work and she starts crying and walks out.  This kid is a mess and having met her, she is also really sweet, but the pressure of the world watching is killing this kid.  Jacqueline is harsh with her, and Chris is way too lenient.  This kid is a screw up and a lot of the blame falls to Jac and Chris who are divided and messing her up.  It’s boring.

Over with Caroline, she is on the radio show and while I like her a lot, I don’t really get it.  How is she qualified to give advice to people and why would anyone care?  She is telling the mother of a disabled child how to motivate her kid and I think it’s weird.  Christopher and Lauren stop by to surprise her.  By surprise of course I mean get some airtime.  Give the Manzo’s their own show and get these kids off of the housewives already.

Kathy is getting her daughter Victoria ready for prom and I freaking love her.  Kathy and her family are fabulous.  I love how she loves her kids, and I think she and Rich have done a great job raising them.  I hope the show does not ruin their lives.  Rich is talking to Victoria’s date Paulie and it’s hilarious.  He is making the poor kid nervous and it’s entertaining. This is a very sweet couple and has been a touch of sunshine in a gloomy season.

It’s picture day and Teresa makes me sad.  She is painfully aware of the cameras.  It’s a shame really. Joe and Melissa arrive and let me just say that I LOVE Melissa and Joe Gorga.  Joe is a doll and I want good things for him.  Listening to him talk about his dad is brutal.  The troubles in this family are crushing and one can’t help but point a finger at Juicy.  We don’t know what happened to get them to this point, but blaming Juicy seems okay.

Teresa and Melissa are getting the baby ready and Teresa is sucking up, which is lame, and poor Melissa is trying to believe but she is guarded and it’s hard.  Teresa does everything for the camera and it’s stupid.  The baby wants to be with Melissa not her mom, and it’s sweet but sad.  We are watching the crumbling of a family, which is uncomfortable but fascinating. The pictures are taken and look truly fabulous.  It’s a nice memory for them.

Kathy taking pictures with Victoria made me cry, and Richie telling Kathy she did a good job raising their kids, made me cry too.  I love how Kathy talks about her kids and when she said she would celebrate opening a can of tuna, if it meant being with the kids, I cried.  Again.  Kathy is a good egg and I love her.  Let’s hope that next season we get some more Kathy and some Rosie too.  Rosie should, be the new non-housewife, housewife.

At minute 42 we finally get to the cookbook.  Teresa has decided to trash all the other housewives in her book, then backtracks and says it was a joke. Right.  I feel bad for Teresa that she is married to a drunk ape, but instead of taking the high road and enjoying her success, she is crawling through the gutter.  She slams Caroline’s cooking and heritage, then slams Kathy, without naming any names, and does not acknowledge her in any way.

She also says that Melissa copies everything she does.  She keeps pushing Melissa up against a wall and it’s not fair.  She tells the camera that the book is a huge success, then 2 seconds later she talks to her publicist and asks why it’s not doing well.  The truth is the book tanked and Teresa is falling from grace very quickly.  I’m guessing the reunion will finally seal her fate and we’ll be done with her.  Hopefully so will Bravo.

Jacqueline goes to Teresa and she is putting make-up on and whining about her life and claims that her bad complexion is because of Ashley.  It’s sad to see her give up on her kid.  I get it’s hard, but she is unwilling to take any responsibility for her role in Ashley’s life.  Ashley is a lost kid well on her way to screwing up her life, and Jac is responsible for part of it.  ‘When Ashley watches and hears her mom talking about her, it must really hurt.

Cookbook-Gate begins and everyone is talking about Teresa’s book and how she bashes everyone in it.  All the ladies are pissed off, but Teresa is insisting that it was a joke and all in good fun.  Sidebar:  Teresa’s hairline starts in the middle of her forehead, which I find very distracting. Very distracting.  The season ends with Teresa defending her book, and everyone else talking about how she crossed the line and is not funny.

The only part of this episode that was interesting was Kathy and Richie with Victoria for her prom.  Everything else was simply a teaser for next week’s reunion, which will be killer!  The teasers look like we will get some clarity on all the tweets that have been sent back and forth lately.  These women are falling apart and it’s sad.  I mean it’s sad if it’s real, but it’s not it is scripted reality televisions and they knew what they were getting into.

Teresa tweeted that her Lucille Ball quote was from two years ago, and they put it in now.  It’s all a bunch of crap, but I love it.  On What Happens Live with Andy, Melissa and Joe Gorga were guests and I seriously like them.  I think they are entertaining and fun.  Whether on the show, or live with Andy, they are good television and when RHONJ is cancelled, and it will be eventually, they should get their own show.  Kathy can be on it too.

The reunion looks like it will be fabulous, it’s just a shame that Jacqueline did not go.  Maybe she will turn up part way?  It seems to me there must be some kind of contractual obligation for her to go, and if she was willing to do a reunion with Danielle, then certainly sitting with Teresa wouldn‘t be any harder.  I’m guessing she turns up, people cry, punches are thrown, Jesus is thanked, and Andy struggles to have control and keep it real.