What is Wrong with This Online Dating Profile?

Yesterday I wrote that after a two week break, I was back to online dating. I was immediately contacted by men I would never date.  They were too young, or too old, or too toothy.  I don’t quite understand why I attract the men I do.  Many of them are not in my age range, or not Jewish, or writing me with permission from their parole officers.

I got a comment from a reader named Jimmy, who wrote the following:

Hi Ilana,

The amount of weirdos and creeps you attract is bizarre.  I guess online dating sites are filled with these mofos, but you’d think that SOME guys in their 40s and 50s would know better, or at least be able to keep their craziness hidden a little longer.  I don’t really have any experience with online dating, and I’m a guy (who is not crazy like your dates have been), so it’s even more puzzling to me.  Here’s an idea…how about putting your profile, or parts of it, in a blog posts, maybe also with the pictures you post, so we can get a better idea of what you’re putting out there.  Maybe you can get some good feedback from your readership.

So, inspired by Jimmy, and knowing people will be brutally honest, which might hurt, but could help, here is what my current online dating profile looks like.  The pictures with the article are the 2 pictures I have posted with the profile on JDate.  A photographer took one, and one was taken on my laptop with the computer camera.

About Me

I am funny, smart, tactile and romantic. A wonderful mother, and successful professional. I appreciate and understand sarcasm, think kissing is an art, and laughter is sexy. I am bold but sensitive, independent but old fashioned. I am Canadian. I am Jewish. I think dancing in the kitchen is romantic and family is important. I am a great cook and can iron slacks and a shirt perfectly. I don’t care what a man does for a living, or what kind of car he drives, as long as he has a job that he cares about, and a way to get there. I hate online dating, but here I am, skeptical but hopeful. I’m a really nice girl. I care about people and respect myself. I have a 15 year old son who is a wonderful human being. I seriously love this kid. I am looking to find a relationship, not date a lot. I’m a great listener, a supportive partner, and an advanced communicator. I think site generated flirts and winks are lame, and while I appreciate the interest, I’m not looking to date someone in another state or country, so if you don’t send an original note, or live outside of Los Angeles, I will know you did not read my profile.  Be brave and get in touch. Good luck to everyone with their search.

There you have it, so let me have it.  I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say.  By looking forward, of course I mean I’m a little nervous, but open to your questions, suggestions, criticism, and approval.  By criticism, of course I mean approval.  I’m kidding.  Not really. Yes I am.  I’m open to all of it, but mostly the approval.  I am particularly interested in what single men have to say.  Since married men seem to be one of the groups that dig me, single men would be the preference.  For both input and dating.

One day my prince will come, and I am praying that when he does, I don’t miss him because I am out on a date with a tool I met online.  With Rosh Hashanah this week, I am hopeful that the New Year will bring a new love.  Hopeful, but also slightly jaded.  I am being patient, well aware that patience can turn into bitterness, and with bitterness comes another cat.  All I can do is think positive, continue dating, stay away from animal shelters, say a prayer, and remember to always focus on keeping the faith.