Cancel Real Housewives New Jersey & Debut “Melissa Loves Joe & Jesus”

I love Bravo but I’ve had enough. Not only do the housewives of New York need to be canned, but they need to pull the plug on New Jersey too.  These chicks are insane.  By these chicks of course I mean Jacqueline and Teresa. I think the next hit for Bravo should be “Melissa Loves Joe & Jesus”.

This pathetic display of television picks up at dinner with Ashley, Jacqueline and Chris, and her dad and step mom.  I am so bored.  I think Ashley is a bitchy and entitled young woman, but I also think Jacqueline is a selfish mother who cares more about her new family that her first born.

Jacqueline is crying and locked herself in the bathroom, which is childish. Everyone is telling Ashley that she needs to grow up, but why is nobody telling Jacqueline that she also needs to grow up.  How can she treat her child to be an adult when she insists on behaving like a child?

Jacqueline does not understand why Ashley does not treat her better. Really?  Is she a moron?  Well, she is, but that’s not the point.  If you are going to humiliate your child publically, and constantly embarrass her, then you have to expect that she is going to be annoyed with you and act out.

I cringe when someone tells to Ashley her mother made sacrifices for her.  Who cares?  We all make sacrifices for our kids.  That’s what it means to be a parent.  Ashley did not tell her mom to get knocked up at 18 and have a baby, so why should she be punished for that choice?

Ashley is a lazy brat with no direction of ambition, and I am not making excuses for her, but if one more person comforts Jacqueline I am going to scream.  She has clearly made her new family her priority and Ashley simply does not fit in the picture.

At Kathy’s, she is having the ladies over for dinner.  She has her “energist” come bless her home and clear out the bad energy.  I believe in smudging my home but I do it myself, not with some hippy chick.  Good for her though that she sticks to it even though Richie mocks her.

Ashley goes over to see Lauren about the t-shirt for the party.  The party is a week away and Ashley has not done anything.  Lauren in pissed off and trying to be nice, but she’s over it.  Ashley cries.  Again.  Then tells the camera she doesn’t even want to do the stupid shirt.

Lauren tells her to stop feeling sorry for herself and get it together.  Lauren sounds exactly like her mother and it’s funny.  Seeing Ashley and Lauren sit at the table is like watching Caroline and Jacqueline.  If these chicks are staring in the show in 10 years I will jump off a bridge.

Teresa and Joe go meet their lawyer because the judge has made a decision on their case.  Joe Guidice is an ape and that he is making money off this show makes me sick.  He is an animal and he and his family need to go.  Teresa has become disgusting and I am over them both.

Teresa is telling Joe she is not sure what to say because she doesn’t want to get them in trouble.  She’s so dumb.  The lawyer says Teresa is released from liability.  Joe is found guilty.  Joe says the moral of the story is that you should never tell the truth.  He is a complete moron.

Joe owes $260k.  They will sell their belongings, pay it off, and it’s done.  There is something so shady about Joe and his attitude about it all is gross.  Teresa is in denial and at the end of the day, Joe Guidice should be in prison and I imagine that will still happen one day.

Teresa stands by her man and says some of her “Jewish friends” don’t understand why she stayed, and they would have divorced their husbands in a heartbeat.  Really?  I want to know who these Jewish chicks are and why it was important to say they were Jewish.

Jacqueline goes over to Caroline’s and they are talking about Teresa’s court situation.  Kathy and Melissa are also talking about it at Kathy’s house.  Melissa does not care and wishes them well.  I really like Melissa.  She and Jesus need their own show.  She is truly the only entertaining one.

Caroline tries to talk straight on the whole thing, but is really speaking in circles.  She knows he’s a lying, cheating, pig, but does not say it.  Instead she sugar coats it and says she hopes he learned a lesson?  I expected more from Caroline.  Friends or not, she should have called Joe out.

Kathy’s party is about to start and Melissa is the first to arrive.  She tells us when “Kathy cooks she makes love to the food”.  If that is the case I think I’ll pass on dinner.  Richie is hilarious and says with Teresa coming over, Kathy should not smudge the house, but get an exorcism instead.

All the ladies are heading to Kathy’s and gossiping on the way.  Teresa is the talk of the town and not in a good way.  Surprisingly, everyone has arrived but her.  Scripted perhaps?  Kathy has made a Middle Eastern feast and everyone is ready to sink heir teeth into the beautiful meal.

Jacqueline is once again complaining about Ashley, in front of everyone.  Ashley can’t get a break from her mom.  It’s gross that she keeps talking about it and that she is airing her laundry in front of Kathy’s little girl is just stupid.  Caroline is talking like she would handle Ashley differently.

Caroline is the best mother in the world. We got it.  Teresa arrives and when talking about the weather, let’s the ladies know it’s going to be cold and they are going to get hit by a “Norwegian”.  This is one stupid chick.  Why are they all making so much money and why am I watching?

Everyone loves the food, except Teresa.  She is complaining about every single thing.  Kathy gives all the ladies a bracelet and says something nice about everyone.  She tells Melissa she is a good mom, and Teresa starts yelling that they are all good moms.  Teresa is a complete bitch.

Kathy says she admires how Teresa stays positive and Teresa thinks it’s a shot against her.  Caroline thanks Kathy and tells her she enjoyed the evening.  She says she did not think she liked her in the beginning, but misjudged her and hopes they can be friends.

She tells Kathy she should totally be a caterer and tells her owning a restaurant is a lot of stress on a marriage, then Teresa jumps in and says she and Joe opened a restaurant as their “next step”.  Teresa cannot be quiet and let someone else talk.  Then she starts talking crap.

We saw the “restaurant” and it’s a small pizza joint.  Teresa says she is going to be the hostess and wear gowns.  Really?  She is going to teach people to cook her recipes in gowns?  Teresa is a crack head.  By crack head of course I mean her head is cracked and her brains seeped out.

Teresa tells the ladies she and Joe are happy with the court’s decision.  Right.  She questions Melissa’s and Kathy’s loyalty by being friends with Kim G, then attacks everything Melissa says.  Teresa is painfully jealous of Melissa.  I find myself wanting to slap Teresa.  Hard.

Teresa does not understand the connection between a Middle Eastern dinner and belly dancers.  Dear Lord.  She is slamming everything about the night, is offensive and should be fired.  This show may be the thing that puts me over the edge and ends my love affair with Bravo.

Over at Jacqueline’s, Ashley is tsaying she is moving to California and the fighting starts immediately, in front of the two little boys.  Jacqueline says she does not want her little kids to grow up seeing dysfunction with Ashley.  Ashley does not seem to matter.

I would never speak to my son like that.  I’m not in her shoes, and who knows what really goes on, but I think I feel for Ashley on this one.  Jacqueline kicks out Ahsley in front of her two young sons and it’s sad.  Chris is trying to fix it, but it’s not flying.

Jacqueline storms out but stays in the conversation by yelling from the other room. It’s a disgusting display from everyone.  Jacqueline is loosing her mind in front of her babies, Chris is trying to talk to her, and Ashley leaves the room and goes to call her dad and complain about her mom.

Jacqueline sends Chris to do her dirty work and tells him to let Ashley know she has two weeks to get out of her house.  Then Ashley yells from upstairs for her mom to shut up, and it’s over.  She is going to be kicked out.  Jacqueline is crying about whining about how she failed as a mother.

Newsflash, you did fail.  Granted Ashley is a mess and needs help, but she did not get that way by herself. Ashley is carrying the shame and embarrassment of her mother’s teenager pregnancy and that is simply not fair.  This family needs help, not to be on television.

I don’t think I will blog about New Jersey anymore. Watching lives fall apart is not fun, it’s sad. It’s time Bravo was help accountable for crossing the lines of decency, and these women realize that getting famous this way is not worth what they are losing.  It’s time to keep it real.