Motherhood, Love & Summer Vacation

Being a mother is my life’s work and greatest joy.  Nothing in my life is as important or valuable as being a mother.  Not any mother, a mother to my child.  He is a remarkable young man and a truly wonderful human being.  He makes me happy, he eases my sorrow, he gives me joy, and he is the piece of my soul that allows me to breathe deeply and enjoy every moment of life.

He starts his senior year of high school next week and I am proud of him. He knows what he wants and is on an epic journey to get it. He has known what he wanted to do with his life since he was little and I have absolutely no doubt that he is going to achieve everything he sets out to accomplish.  He is amazing and it is in large part because of the woman who raised him.

My son has been back east for the past 17 days. It has been almost unbearable to have him gone so long and it is only through the magic of Facetime that I am not sitting in a corner crying over his being gone.  As I write this, my son has safely landed back in Los Angeles.  His dad is picking him up at the airport so they can have dinner before he comes to me.

This time has been a real test for me.  It was like a practice round for his leaving for university next year.  While very difficult, I did okay.  Granted we spoke every single day, and he did text me what he was up to with a final text letting me know he was safely in for the night, I still did pretty good.  I know that won’t happen when he goes to college, but it is baby steps.

I love him.  I love him in a way that keeps me sane, and focused on my own dreams.  All of my hopes for my own future are wrapped up in this child.  The things I want and need are a direct reflection of what I want and need to give him.  It is my greatest accomplishment when I can provide things to help further his dreams.  He has my unconditional love and support.

With my baby home safe and sound, and a few more days of summer vacation before he heads back to school, I am taking some days off.  I am going to do mundane things, like back to school shopping, but I am going to do it with no other things on my list of things to do.  I am going to focus on my child and this wonderful time in his life.  It is the end of a chapter for us both.

His senior year will be exciting.  I want him to have the kind of year that when he looks back on years from now, he smiles and thinks it was great.  I am going to enjoy the weekend with my boy.  We are going to just be together. I have a few surprises planned, but the goal is to stay away from the computer, not answer the phone, and be a full time mommy.

Summer vacation is a stressful time for mothers.  We need to entertain our children, spend a small fortune on their activities, and pray for school to start back up.  Now that school is around the corner, I wish summer could last longer and I could go back to a time when he needed me more, and hanging out with his mom was a pleasure not torture.  A girl can dream.

I am now sitting and waiting.  I have been waiting for him to call me everyday and now I am waiting for him to walk in the front door.  Each second feels like a minute and each minute feels like an hour.  I am smiling and giddy and waiting.  I am going to hug and kiss him until he begs me to stop. I hope you are all having a lovely summer and until we meet again, keep the faith.