Whether a Jewish wedding is white tie and tails at a five-star hotel, blue jeans and bare feet on a beach or something in between, today’s betrothed couples are choosing to custom mix and match the components that come together to form a unique and perfect union.
It’s a combination of tradition and technology, time-honored practices brought up to speed with the help of innovative materials and methods. Through color, fabric, texture, technique and an assortment of media, couples are able to flesh out a concept, fill in the detail, feel a strong sense of accomplishment and share their talent and creativity as they express the joy of the occasion.
A chuppah can be lovingly designed and/or crafted by a couple, with assistance from family and friends. A plain, preprinted ketubbah (marriage contract) can be purchased for a pittance and, with a little embellishment, fashioned into an exquisite masterpiece. Inexpensive flowers can cascade over basic-turned-beautiful, bride-decorated vessels at a very small cost. And for those who wish to personalize their ceremony and celebration and are not that concerned about budgets, many professional artists, craftspeople and commercial enterprises can take a couple’s stick-figure drawing of their dream and give it life.
At the top of the do-it-yourself wedding project list must be making a chuppah. If you’ve been to a lot of weddings in recent years, religiously read The Journal or chatted with brides-to-be, you’ll have to agree with my unscientific conclusion. There’s definitely something indescribably compelling and satisfying about being married under a special chuppah.
In a society obsessed with size, luckily, the length and width of a chuppah is merely a matter of what will suit the situation. Since there are no biblical requirements, you can put your cubit-conversion concerns to rest.
A dark, embroidered, velvet chuppah was the standard used by rabbis and supplied by synagogues for centuries. While some couples choose to use this resource, it’s more likely that something a little lighter and brighter will be selected.
For those do-it-yourself daredevils who want a really colorful canopy, bold textiles are available at local craft or fabric stores and online. Since thinking of those in need as you prepare to celebrate a simcha is a mitzvah, check out this fabulous fabric Web site: http://www.milechai.com/fancy_delancy.html . Jewish motif selections are vast — everything from vivid Star of David designs with a rainbow of background possibilities to striking shalom (in Hebrew) with doves.
Proceeds go to the Jewish Children’s Adoption Network, a nonprofit founded 15 years ago by Dr. Stephen Krausz and his wife, Vicki. The great majority of the children this network helps are considered hard to place because of a variety of physical, developmental, emotional or other problems.
“For our daughter’s wedding, we made a chuppah with plain fabric [white muslin] on the top and stenciled a design around the edging,” Krausz said.
He added that his wife created a stencil, using an X-Acto knife and stencil plastic, with flowers and the words kol sasson v’kol simcha and kol chatan v’kol kallah in Hebrew (the sound of joy and the sound of celebration; the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride).
“We used large dowels — 8-foot-long, 1 1/2-inch diameter poles purchased at a hardware store,” Krausz said. “I added hooks to the tops, and we put them in four umbrella stands [rather than have people hold them]. After [the outdoor ceremony], we had the guests sign the top with a fabric pen.”
Krausz’s daughter, Dora Segan-Kohanim, made her own wedding dress. While that project is way beyond most brides’ realm of possibilities, Segan-Kohanim now makes custom gowns for local brides.
If you’ve got some great ideas, sufficient funds but little time and/or talent to do things exactly your way, consider this compromise: a professionally quilted chuppah made up of faux silk squares that members of the wedding party and selected guests decorate, following your directions and design. It might sound complicated, but it’s really quite simple.
Huppahquilt.com sells kits that have everything you need for a personal, professionally put-together treasure of a chuppah. Prices range from $600 for a “petite” chuppah kit (52 inches by 52 inches) to $2,000 for the “imperial” (86 inches by 86 inches).
You can grant your participating guests lots of artistic freedom, or you can control your design destiny by preselecting paper templates. You can even have a chuppah made up entirely of transferred photo images. Your walk down the aisle can be a stroll down memory lane.
A large tallit (prayer shawl) is also a popular choice to serve as a chuppah. Many couples take this route to wedded bliss and express their creativity through decorating its supports with fabric and/or fresh flowers. Lightweight bamboo poles are best bets for those who decide to have people (instead of stationary supports) hold up the chuppah. Nobody wants to see the best man fall down on the job.
Other suggestions for do-it-yourself chuppot can be found online at http://ehow.com/how_4450_create-huppah.html and by using Google or other search engines.
You can’t have a Jewish wedding without a ketubah. Few of us are gifted enough to try to tackle this requirement on a do-it-yourself basis. If you have the funds, you can commission an artist to come up with your perfect, personalized piece of living Jewish history that commemorates your special day. For a little under $100, you can get a nice print of an original artist’s design. But if every penny must be pinched, how does a $5 ketubah sound?
It’s out there. Actually, Behrman House, a company that produces printed material for schools and Jewish institutions, has two attractive ketubot on the gifts and certificates page of its online catalog at http://www.behrmanhouse.com. If the wording works for you and your rabbi or officiant, note that each ketubbah is 11 inches by 17 inches (folded to 8 1/2 inches by 11 inches), printed in full color on parchment paper and comes with a white 9-by-12-inch envelope. For a few more dollars, a quick trip to a crafts store for some embossing powder or a gold paint pen will make your ketubbah a personal and priceless find.
While you’re at the crafts store, check out the clear glass goblets, vases and bowls. By applying some glass paint — either freehand or with a stencil — you can create centerpieces and toasting glasses. With a few faux jewels and/or some fake lead, a plain piece of stemware can be transformed into a sparkling Kiddush cup.
Among the dozens of other wedding necessities and accessories that can be made or adorned are a bridal headpiece and veil, a flower girl’s basket, ring-bearer’s pillow and place cards. How-to instructions for these and other projects can be found online at http://diynet.com/diy/cr_wedding . With a little imagination and some markers, stickers, stencils, rubber stamps and such, you can add your personal and Jewish touches.
Remember how much fun you used to have with arts and crafts at school and summer camp? By completing a wedding project or two, you’ll feel like a carefree kid again.
If everything you’ve just read still sounds too intimidating, do something simple like decorate a plain cotton napkin or handkerchief for the simcha chair dance. You’ll surely enjoy the process and will feel very proud when you can say, “I did it myself!”
More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.