Real Housewives of Beverly Hills RECAP – Uncensored

Let me begin by saying this show made me sick tonight.  I am sick of these incredibly self-centered, and ridiculous women.  A man is dead, three children have lost their father, and in my opinion all the RHOBH have a little blood on their hands.  Shame on Bravo for airing this crap fest.  At what point will Bravo take responsibility for the insanity and pull this show? When will they stop treating their loyal viewers like idiots?

We start off this trip to hell with Adrienne gossiping to her husband about Camille so we are all brought up to speed.  Russell was never going to sue Camille and he was never going to sue anyone.  If Camille was so upset about an email from Russell, she should have stayed home.  If they are all so worried about the safety of Taylor, then why uninvite her to the party and potentially put her at risk with her abusive husband?

In the one fun scene during this train wreck, we meet the band for Pandora’s wedding.  Lisa dancing with the wedding planner is cute, Lisa crying into Jiggy is adorable, Lisa wiping her tears on Pandora’s sweater is hilarious, and the bald singer who sings in Spanish is gorgeous. I’m laughing and thinking it’s not going to be so bad, and then it’s over.  The next scene is with Kyle and there is simply nothing appealing about this horrific woman.

Over at Kyle’s, she is getting ready for the party and gets a call from super bored Adrienne, who is stirring the pot. She says Camille “just got” an email from Russell threatening to sue.  Really?  I find it hard to believe Russell sent the email from his trip to Vegas with Taylor.  Adrienne causes all the problems by calling Kyle to say she is not coming, then says she is coming, but might leave early.  Adrienne is out of control.

Kim is having dinner with two of her older kids and they are all laughing at the fact that one of them took too much nighttime cold medicine and fell asleep in the shower.  It’s sad that Kim thought it was funny, however you could see her make a mental note to try it.  The entire exchange with Kim and her kids is awkward.  They obviously do not like her mom’s boyfriend Ken, and it’s weird because clearly we are not getting the full story.

The White Party is beginning and the gang is arriving.  If Kyle did not have such a selfish soul she’d be beautiful.  Brandi comes, without a bra, and looks fabulous.  They went from almost throwing blows last week, to Kyle not wanting to uninvite her.  Really?  She won’t uninvite Brandi who she hates, but will uninvite Taylor who is supposed to be her good friend? Camille should have stayed home. Her coming was the beginning of the end.

Lisa is talking to Kyle and no matter what Lisa says, Kyle makes it about her. What about me?  What about me?  We are supposed to believe Kyle could not reach Taylor by phone?  That is a crock of crap and everyone knows it. Bravo housewives fans might be fanatical and crazy, but they are not idiots. Well, there are quite a few idiots, but overall we not stupid, and we are not buying this imaginary tale.  The writers of this should be fired.

Are these pathetic losers seriously concerned that they are going to get sued by Russell?  Lisa is trying to be compassionate toward Taylor after her weekend together, and Kyle is making it about her.  Again.  What about Kyle and her friendship with Taylor?  Lisa wants to call Taylor and tell her not to come, to avoid any embarrassment, but she can’t reach her.  I want to shove Kyle into a pool of mud in her beautiful white dress.

Kim arrives and she is clearly not herself.  By not herself of course I wean she is high.  Not mellow pot high, but brutal using high.  She is coughing all over Lisa and it’s disgusting.  Kim is a mess and should have been forced from this show immediately.  I cannot stand watching her and find her completely painful.  Everyone seems to have an opinion about Ken, yet everyone says they don’t know him.  It makes no sense.

Dana is there and completely a waste of space. She needs to not be on this show.  Everything about her is silly and a waste of my time.  Kim is still annoyed with Brandi and there is a fight brewing. Kim approaches Brandi and is confrontational, rude, abrasive, and insane.  Brandi handles herself with class and dignity and I like her more each week. Kim insists Kyle is not a bitch, which is proof her drugs make her delusional.

Sidebar:  Was Brandi’s friend the house manager Jennifer Gimenez from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew?  We never really got a look at her face, but it looked like her.  I love her.  We then cut to Russell and Taylor in the limo ride over and it is shocking.  Taylor is telling him she loves him, and kissing him, and they look like a happy couple.  It’s the strangest scene ever and incredibly unnerving.  I feel so bad for Russell and his family.

It is heartbreaking to see Russell because he seems to have no idea about the crap Taylor has been saying about him.  She clearly was not telling him anything about her stories.  I think we can safely assume this man was not an angel, but I honestly think she pushed him to the limit with her lies. How could he recover from the picture she had painted of him?  How do you come back from hell with the devil living in your house?

Russell and Taylor get to Kyle’s and she runs out with her posse to confront Taylor.  She is fake crying and trying to crack her voice and it’s pathetic. Taylor is in shock and Russell is standing there not sure what is happening. We are watching Taylor getting caught in her web of lies and I can’t help but feel bad for Russell.  He looks ambushed.  He responded to a rumor from Camille and is unaware the rumor was actually from Taylor.

It is a horrible scene.  Everyone is ganging up on Russell and it is so uncomfortable.  Taylor and Russell leave and Kyle runs after them fake crying.  Russell assures her it’s fine and they want to go.  Adrienne is being a busybody and Taylor is correct in saying that Camille should have simply stayed home.  Taylor’s lies are unraveling and you can see her fear.  She looks oddly at peace and it’s very unsettling.

After an hour of watching this slow and painful train ride through hell, I am torn between wanting to take a shower to get the gross off of me, and wanting to go and put flowers on Russell’s grave.  I am seriously surprised and puzzled by so many things this week I don’t know what to do.  Here are my top ten questions from this week’s show, which I am sharing in the hopes that my readers might have some answers for me.

1) Why does Adrienne never brush her hair?

2) Does Adrienne think it is 1986?

3) Is Paul Nassif a little person?

4) Was watching Dana feel up Kim necessary?

5) How old is Jiggy?

6) How long after the White Party did Russell die?

7) Is Adrienne’s stylist blind?

8) Why do we watch this show?

9) Why did Camille go to the party?

10) When will this crapfest be over?

I think the ladies of Atlanta are out of control with their fighting, hating and whoring, and I’m not sure how the new seasons of Orange County and New York will look, but I am certain that the ladies of Beverly Hills should only come back if they are going to get a new cast.  I would like to see Brandi and Lisa return, and all the others need to get canned so we can start fresh.  That ‘s the only shot in hell Bravo has to keep it real.