Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – RECAP

We start off with Taylor and Lisa having lunch at Lisa’s restaurant.  Taylor looks horrible and tells Lisa she can’t remember what happened at Brandi’s party because she was drunk.  Lisa is trying to be a supportive friend, which is weird because they were never friends before.  Taylor has lost the supportive ear of all the other women so of course she turns to Lisa, but I’m surprised Lisa agreed to do it.

Even stranger, is Pandora has invited Taylor to her Bachelorette party in Vegas.  By stranger of course I mean scripted.  It pisses me off when Bravo thinks we are dumb enough to believe this crap.  Lisa calls the Chippendale dancers chipmunks, and when Taylor thanks her for lunch, says she thought Taylor was paying for it.  Hilarious.  I constantly change my mind about Lisa and this week I love her. Shame they are forcing Taylor on her.

DD is over at Camille’s, still in love with her, and Brandi comes over for a visit which makes no sense because Camille lives really far and stopping in for a visit would not happen in Malibu unless it was scripted.  They are rehashing the party, referring to Taylor as needing an exorcism, and Camille defends herself.  Camille does not need to defend herself, she did nothing wrong. DD however, needs to shut the hell up. Who cares about DD?

Camille is gorgeous, Brandi is fun, and the editing is laughable.  Taylor just sat with Lisa for the first time, yet Camille says Lisa and Taylor are now good friends.  So lame.  Adrienne and Paul are off to tape a show together and their bickering is ridiculous.  It was cute in the beginning, but is now just silly.  Adrienne is a bitch, does not like Paul, and you have to wonder what is so great about her that Paul stays for the constant public humiliation.

Kyle is shopping with Faye Resnick and it’s annoying.  Why the hell do we have to constantly see Faye?  Bravo would be hard pressed to find a fan of hers. Does anyone like her? Lisa is shopping for wedding dresses with Pandora and it’s sweet.  Watching Lisa see the dresses is lovely.  Sadly she is once again wearing a dress that is too small and cannot walk in her heels, but still, she is likable this week and she has a fan in me.  For now.

In Vegas, Camille is showing off the penthouse of the Palms and it’s stupid because everyone is so impressed, but we’ve seen it a million times, for a million years.  Brandi and Dana arrive and Kim, as usual, bails with a phone call.  Lisa and the bachelorette party have also arrived and are staying at the Hard Rock.  Given the choice, I would stay there over the Palms too. Lisa’s suite is much nicer than the tackiness of The Palms.

Kyle bailed on Vegas so she could shoot the cover of her book.  A book she wrote about her life and passions.  Seriously?  Who cares about what Kyle Richards has to say about fashion and kids?  Is there a chapter about how to be a selfish sister who only cares about herself?  Is there a chapter about being a fame whore who has calluses from desperately hanging onto the coattails of your sisters and niece?  I’m guessing not.

Back in Vegas, Brandi, Camille, Dana and Adrianne are together and we are reminded that Dana is the most obnoxious and boring women they have ever shoved down our throats.  They better no bring this chick back.  I have interviewed her and she was fun, but it does not translate and she brings nothing to this show. Plus her fiancé is a jackass so I imagine his karma is part of her undoing.  Take care Dana.  It’s been boring.

It’s time for the Chippendale dancers and that is worth the price of admission.  These are some seriously attractive men and yet I am distracted by the size of Taylor’s mouth.  It is massive.  Lisa is thoroughly enjoying the show even though Taylor is annoying her.  The other girls go dancing and Brandi and Camille are having a blast together while poor DD is forced to watch the only person she will ever really love grind on someone else.

Kyle is shopping with her mother-in-law and “runs into” Kim.  We have not seen Kim forever, and when we do she is wasted, so it’s random.  Kim and Kyle sit to talk and Kim shares that her new relationship is not being accepted by her children and she is broken.  She is crying and clearly distraught, and Kyle is a cold bitch.  She is not supportive or comforting.  Her sister is crying and instead of hugging her, Kyle wants to talk about her weight.

It is heartbreaking to see Kim this way and I want to comfort her, but I want to kick Kyle more.  She is making this about her, not her sister.  Kim is falling apart and Kyle is trying to make herself cry.  Kim is lonely and asks Kyle for help, and Kyle is too concerned with the camera angles to help her. I am embarrassed for Kyle and mortified for Kim.  We have heard that she is now in rehab, which is good, but sad because she is probably alone.

We are shown a clip from next week and in 10 seconds I am left incredibly uncomfortable.  It is the white party and Taylor is told she cannot come in because Russell was not invited.  His face clearly tells us that he knew nothing about the things Taylor was saying about him.  The story of Russell and Taylor will all come out and we will see Taylor is hiding more than she is sharing. Time for Taylor to start keeping it real.