The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Shame. Shame. Shame.

This week started out with Lisa breaking the law, as it is against the law to drive in California without a hands free device on your cell phone.  But there she is, driving around town, holding her phone.  I used to like Lisa, and now I can barely stand the sound of her voice.  Stop driving and talking on the phone.  It’s dangerous.

Lisa is calling everyone, illegally, to see if they are coming to her daughter’s engagement party.  She tells Taylor she can come, but she can’t bring her husband.  Really?  Mohammed’s house is massive and he would never even see Russell.  I think it was rude.  Even more offensive, is that Taylor ordered a $2000 cake for her kid’s 5th birthday.

Really?  At this point her husband is drowning under her excessive spending, but she is having a party for 200 people?  I think Taylor should be ashamed of herself.  I hope she spends part of her days washing Russell’s blood off of her hands.  We then go to Kyle and her mother-in-law, but I’m skipping over it because Kyle is annoying.

Let me get this straight, Taylor and Russell have no money, but she is having a chef cook dinner, then decides to put on an apron, as if she was involved in the preparation?  This chick makes me sick.  I am skipping over every single scene with Russell.  Shame on Bravo for having this man on the show.  It is disgraceful and offensive.

It’s time for Pandora’s embarrassing engagement party and Lisa is worried her son Max won’t come.  If you need to constantly say “he is part of this family”, is the implication not that he does not feel that he is part of the family?  There is a strange vibe between Max and Lisa, and I find it unsettling.  Pandora is clearly her favorite.

Sidebar:  Wearing your trousers hanging low on your ass does not give the wrong impression in West Hollywood Lisa, and your homophobic jokes are lame.  Kim calls to say she is not coming.  Translation:  she is high and does not want to put the crack pipe down.  Lisa gives Pandora a gift, from only her, and does not include Ken in the moment.  Selfish if you ask me.

Over at Mohammed’s house, we discover he is now engaged to his robot girlfriend.  There is a camel at the front door, which is almost as confusing as Pandora wearing a Chanel dress with a Frederick’s of Hollywood purse. Also confusing is why Adrienne has two wings, made out of hair, coming out the side of her head.  Brush your hair!

BEST PART OF THIS SHOW EVER is the mermaid, flopping around at the pool, clearly coming off of a crystal meth high.  I love this chick and want her to come to my next party.  Best guest star ever!  As for the chick that calls her husband Daddy, I think it was probably Bobby but she had so much collagen, she could not pronounce it properly.

Kim is dating a lost brother of Tom Sizemore.  Dear Lord.  No good can come out of dating your dealer.  She met him at the mailbox, which could mean one of two things. 1) He was dropping off her drugs. Or 2) “mailbox” really means “dumpster” and he was looking for some dinner.  Poor guy.  He’s been dating this hot mess for a year!

Kyle getting up on the table at the party, and doing the splits in her ball gown was brutal.  Lisa dismissing Ken from having any role in the engagement party was gross.  Showing Russell is mortifying.  Watching this show is difficult.  It takes Bravo to the gutter, and Kennedy’s birthday party might put me over edge. Time for the ladies to keep it real.