Real Housewives of Beverly Hills High School Recap

I watch this show, because I am an addict, but I cannot give a blow-by-blow recap as it’s simply too excruciating.  What I am able to do however, is go through the list of ladies and share my take on them and their behavior, based on this week’s train ride through hell.

BRANDI:  I love this chick.  She is doing her best to keep it together, while under constant attack.  I give her props for staying at the party as long as she did, because I would have bailed, right after I smacked both the Richards bitches.  When she cried it was heartbreaking.

Sidebar:  I am the mother of a 15 year old son.  He is a remarkable human being with impeccable manners, and when he was young, I told him, on many occasions, to drop his pants and pee on a tree in the park because he could not make it to the bathroom.  That’s the joy of being a boy and there is nothing wrong with what Brandi’s kid did.

Brandi has experienced a very public divorce, from what appears to be a douchelord, and that she chose to do this show makes no sense to me.  She is younger, and prettier than the regulars, so she had to have known she was going to be a target because these fame whores are crazy.

DANA:  This chick is a whack-a-doodle.  Her desperate need for fame is nauseating, which is a shame because I bet she’s a hoot when she is not crawling up reality television star’s asses in order to feel accepted.  I don’t understand half of what she says which is good television.

CAMILLE:  I like her this season and I liked her mom.  I hope she gives Brandi a chance because I think they could be good friends.  She is sitting back and observing the show more than participating, so it will be interesting to see how it all plays out with her over the next few weeks.

Important to note that when Camille was talking to the woman in the pink hat and floral dress, she was gracious, kind, and a real lady.  When the MC screwed up her lines, the first thing Camille did was align herself with her.  Camille is a class act and we saw her true self today.

ADRIENNE:  Is it just me or does she look more and more like Barbara Eden, circa I Dream of Jeannie, every time we see her?  She is the kind one of the group.  By kind of course I mean to everyone but her husband.  In a sea of freaks, she is the normal one, which is frightening.

TAYLOR:  Dear Lord, why is this woman on television?  She needs to wash her hair and eat a sandwich.  Her mouth is distracting and her blow up about not hitting, while compelling, seemed fake to me.  She was playing victim and I’m not buying it, which feels horrible.

If I had a small child, whose father killed himself, I would not be playing out the months leading up to his death on television.  In the end, maybe she needs the money, but how much money is worth it now, for her daughter to not respect her later?  Think ahead Taylor, and be done.

LISA:  She started off as my favorite.  I thought she was fun, irreverent, and down to earth.  In the end she is a snob, catty, not that funny, and has undertones of judgment in everything she tries to pass off as a joke.  She is a mean girl who is looking to start trouble with everyone.

Sidebar:  Kevin Lee, the wedding planer, needs to have his own show.  Love the clothes, the make-up, the kiss, the wig, the ideas, love it all.  I want to spend an hour a week watching him put together a spectacular wedding.  I adore this guy.  Let’s go Andy Cohen, he is a keeper.

KIM:  There is no way, on God’s green earth, that this woman is not medicated.  By medicated of course I mean taking drugs in a way that is not prescribed by a doctor, but rather by a guy on the corner.  She is going to hurt herself.  Mark my words, it’s coming, and it will be sad.

KYLE: Oh. My. God.  This woman is a complete and total bitch.  Meow!  She is mean, selfish, delusional, and so desperate for fame that she cares about nothing else.  She was fan favorite after the first season, which is proof that when you fall from the top, you fall hard.

Her older children are able to understand so how must they feel seeing their mother be such a horrible woman?  She is mean to her core so the first season was clearly an act.  Kathy Hilton must be thanking God she has a different name, and cringing when they mention her.

This show is truly horrible in terms of bad behavior, and if I were not a reality television addict, I would not be watching.  It’s like crack and I just can’t stop.  I’m assuming it’s like crack since I don’t do drugs.  Kim, can you confirm?  Come on sweetie let’s start keeping it real.