Princesses Long Island Continues to Disappoint

*Typos brought to you courtesy of boredom, and just not caring about this show.

The only reason I am still watching this show is for the “help me” episode, but the bastards at Bravo keep teasing us, and have yet to show it.  At this point I’m too far in to quit now, so I will keep blogging. I want it to be very clear however, that I think this show sucks and these women are embarrassing.  That said, it is entertaining to follow them on Twitter.  They are ridiculous, think people are laughing with them not at them, and get offended when people don’t think this is a sitcom, not a reality show.

This week starts with Chanel and her mother going wedding dress shopping with her younger sister Ashley.  Ashley is getting married and Chanel is not happy about it.  Well, she is happy for her of course, but not happy that she is older, single, and feeling pressure to marry.  She is a young girl and I feel bad for her because the pressure she is feeling from her family, and putting on herself, is too much.  I get she is sad, but she is sucking the joy out of the experience for her sister and that is not cool. Bless her, but not cool.

Casey, Ashlee, and Chanel are at a Jewish speed-dating event. Casey’s clothes are unfortunate, Joey reminds me of Bethenny, who I think is disgusting, and Ashlee is actually starting to grow on me.  She is a caricature, but cute.  The entire scene makes me want to cut my eyes out.  Casey is not into anyone because she thinks she is too good for them and clearly has issues with men.  Ashlee is giving it a real chance and trying to meet someone, Joey is a bitch like Bethenny.

Joey is  nightmare.  Casey calls her low class, and Ashlee is ignoring her because her behavior is unbecoming.  Joey does not understand why they are ignoring her. Really?  Because you are a crazy bitch.   Ashlee says she has a laundry list of reasons why she does not like Joey, and she doesn’t do laundry.  Funny.  Joey leaves annoyed, Casey is devoid of personality, and I feel bad Ashlee was not cuter sooner because the damage is already done.

Amanda is planning a party for her drink hanky.  For the love of God, is she serious?  This is the dumbest thing ever and whoever buys it has money burning a whole in their pocket.  She is doing a party at a salon because the clientele there is classy and high end, like her product.  I am laughing my ass off.  Cut to Joey, who is now going out with Erica for drinks.  Erica burps in the car, probably because she has been drinking.  I don’t get Erica.  I mean I get that she is a complete slut, but I don’t get who she is as a person.

Joey tells Erica about the speed dating, which causes Erica’s face to contort in a weird way.  Not cute.  Erica is annoyed by her boyfriend, who keeps checking in on her.  I feel bad for Rob and hope they are broken up by now. She is not ready to settle down and is into sleeping around.  Nothing wrong with that, just break up with your boyfriend first.  Joey says Erica does not know how to flirt and oozes sex appeal.  Are we seeing what she sees?  Erica is not sexy, Joey makes no sense, and Erica is slutting around.

Ashlee has a date from the speed-dating event and I am dying.  She is 30 years old and her dad is interrogating him in the living room.  For the love of God.  I would die if I was living at home at 30 and had to have dates pick me up there.  Ashlee is not into him, but she is gracious and it was sweet.  She threw him under the bus in the one-on-one interview, but on the date she was sweet, so good for her.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t get her life, think she is a bad stereotype of what it means to be Jewish, but she is harmless.

Cut to Erica who is talking to her dad.  He has asked her to come help him in the office for the summer, but she has not shown up.   Erica says having a work ethic in the summer is really hard because hello, it is summer.  I feel sad for the parents of these girls who are clearly torn between loving their children, and wanting to kick their asses. As a mother myself, I don’t can’t imagine my son being home at 30 and having me take care of him.  I love my kid more than anything else in the world, but by 30 he has got to be on his on.

Chanel is crying about her sister getting married again.  She feels pressure to get married and that everyone is judging her for not being married.  I am not Modern Orthodox, so I cannot comment on what it is like in her community, but I am willing to bet tsome of the drama is in her head.  I love Chanel, but enough. Sidebar:  Casey has a problem pronouncing the word weird.  Are we going to hear the poor me sobs for the rest of the season.

Amanda is with Jeff getting ready for her party and it is hilarious.  They are a weird couple. That said, they are entertaining, and by entertaining of course I mean annoying.  I’m glad they are happy and it’s always nice when someone delusional can meet someone else delusional, and live happily ever after.  Bless them.  The party is on and Joey arrives, bringing a gift for Amanda, which makes her cry, and it was sweet.  I am clearly not drinking enough if I think these women are cute and not repulsive.

Chanel and Ashlee arrive, and Joey has decided to ignore Ashlee.  How old are these chicks?  Everyone is dancing, and I am done, so we will skip over the dance party.  Jeff is talking to Rob, who tells him Erica is out of control. I like Jeff and Rob.  Then Chanel gets into a fight.  Chanel? Yup. Someone pics a fight with Chanel, she is explaining it to Amanda, and Ashlee is trying to control the situation by keeping everyone away from Chanel. Turns our sweet little Chanel is scrappy, and will knock a bitch out if needed.

Joey comes in to see what is going on and Ashlee is trying to kick her out. Joey is pissed at Ashlee, Ashlee is screaming at Joey, and it is ridiculous. There are now multiple fights going on and it is lame.  Chanel is a pit bull, Ashlee is a pistol, Joey is a bitch, and the insane level of immaturity ruins Amanda’s party.  Next week will be better because I will replace the empty bottles of tequila that I broke open to be able to lick the inside. These women are not good television and Bravo needs to keep it real.