Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap

We start this week with Teresa working out with a woman who has a body that I find offensive.  Eat a sandwich lady.  With mayo!  Teresa looks amazing and she is talking about Gia’s birthday party, which is coming up, and co-ed. I have a son and it is stressful so I can just imagine what it is like to have 4 daughters, who are all insanely beautiful.  God Bless Tre and Juicy.

We jump to Jac who has bought a hyperbaric bed for Nicholas.  Good for her that she is showing options and her efforts to help her son, but at the same time, if I am dealing with the same thing, and don’t have the money for these things, it would be hard for me to watch.  Nick likes the bed and it is sweet.  Joe is moved by it all and wants to fix things with Teresa.

Caroline talks about Jac like she is her PR person.  Let’s respect what Jac is going through, but also remember she is bitch.  Caroline tells Jac she met with Teresa and Tre expects an apology.  Really?  They never talked about Jac! Caroline is a gossip and a liar because Joe never asked her to talk to Teresa. Poor Caroline is trying to look good in order to sell books.

Juicy is out with Gia, giving her the sex talk and it is adorable.  Gia is mortified, Juicy is trying, and it is a sweet moment.  Not sure I would want it on TV if I were Gia, but still, super sweet scene between father and daughter. Back at Jac’s, Caroline is going to talk to Joe, but Jac wants it to be all about her.  I seriously cannot stand Jac and think she is fake and dumb.  

We go to Kathy’s house and Rosie has taken Joseph out in his dad’s Ferrari. It is raining and the kid only has his permit, so not too smart an idea.  They pull in, Richie is confused, Kathy is pissed, Rosie is entertained, and Joseph could care less.  This family is not entertaining and I truly do not understand why they are here.  I don’t care about any of them.  Never have.

Teresa and Juicy are off to the hospital to see her dad who has been admitted with pneumonia.   Joe is also sick and cannot visit his dad because he is sick.  Joe is telling Melissa about how sick his dad is and I am not feeling any compassion from her.  She is wondering how is will effect her camera time, not how it will effect her husband.  Melissa is bad.

Joe tells Melissa that he spoke to Caroline and Melissa is pissed off.  She cannot have anyone trying to fix what she spends all her time trying to break.  Melissa is a nightmare and anyone who watches this show and does not see that this is all her fault, is clearly drunker than I am. Melissa is going to Gia’s party with Antonia, but not Joe.  Not a good thing.

Melissa and Kathy are now working out which makes sense because Melissa does everything that Teresa does.  Melissa has nothing to do on this show, unless she is talking about Teresa.  Kathy is useless, so this entire thing is a bore.  Melissa says she is sick too and I am laughing. She is not sick, unless you call being delusional being sick.  I cannot stand her anymore.

Teresa is stressed out about her dad who in is ICU.  She hopes Joe will come to Gia’s party, but we know he won’t.  Jac shows up at the gym to work out and it makes no sense.  Jac is an idiot.  Linda, Tre’s friend with the insane body is there, and the girls start gossiping about her.  Honestly, is Bravo going to spend all season showing Melissa and Kathy talking about Teresa?

Linda calls Teresa to say the girls are at their gym, which apparently makes no sense since it is not their gym.  Teresa wonders how it is that Melissa can work out, but not visit her dad for 5 minutes.  Caroline is moving out of her house into the apartment due to “downsizing”.  Translation: They are probably going into foreclosure.  Teresa needs her own show.

Caroline’s sister now has a pig at the house.  Who cares?  We jump to Teresa and the girls who are all getting their hair done for the birthday party. Gia does not want to talk about Joe, and is clearly torn to be put in the middle. I understand Teresa is upset and talks to her kid, but I feel bad for Gia.  Joe is sick and not coming, it is not personal, it is sickness.

Melissa is getting her kids ready for the party and threatens her son with hot pepper in the mouth.  I hate that parenting technique.  Joe is still sick and not going, but Melissa tells him he didn’t want to go anyway.  Melissa is a troublemaker and Joe loves her so much he buys into her bullshit.  Melissa is single handedly breaking her husband’s family apart.  For real.

Sidebar: Milania Giudice is television perfection.  I LOVE this kid and she steals the show every time she is on camera.  I will say again, what I have been saying forever, a show about JUST Teresa and her kids would be great television.  Bravo needs to dump the garbage and focus on the gold.  We are getting bored with the show so give us what we want already.

It’s time for Gia’s party and it looks fun.  There are a lot of kids and Gia is totally mortified by her parents.  Juicy is asking boys if they have a crush on Gia, Teresa wants to take tons of pics, and I am laughing at how cute they all are. Kathy’s kids are going to see Teresa’s dad, but she is not going.  So gross.  She is now desperate for camera time and it is pathetic.

Richie tells her to suck it up and go see him.  These two don't seem to like each other.  Richie says Kathy should go for herself, but really it is to piss off Teresa.  Melissa is driving t the party and listening to her own record in the car with the kids.  Oh. My. God.  Melissa is taking crap about Teresa in front of her kids.  Melissa is a troll and I don’t trust her.

Kim D shows up to the party.  I don’t like her.   Melissa comes with her kids and Teresa’s kids are thrilled about their cousins, but don’t care about Melissa.  Linda and Kim D are talking about Melissa not visiting her father-in-law and it is a shame they are doing this at the party.  Melissa is talking about how sick Joe is and says she did visit her father-in-law.

Melissa is a liar.  Kim D calls out Melissa for lying.  Melissa says he looked good, and Teresa is not standing for the lies.  Melissa is caught in the lie and I am loving it.  Stupid bitch.  Teresa throws in the towel and does not want to fight, but Melissa won’t let it go.  Teresa calls her out and Melissa is up and out.  She is going to pull her kids out of the party.  Not cool.

This whole thing is sad.  I love Teresa but this should not have happened at Gia’s party and even though Melissa started it, Teresa should have focused on the kids, not the lying skank.  I am sad for these kids, sad for Teresa, and sad for Joe that he does not see what his wife is doing. The kids are upset and in the end they suffer because their parents are crazy.

Melissa storms off and her kids don’t get cake.  Teresa is annoyed, Juicy is not surprised, and Gia is heartbroken.  Melissa says she always does the right thing and I am laughing. I love this show but there is no denying that it simply does not work anymore.  We are watching, we are slowly checking out, and we are waiting for Bravo to get a clue and start keeping it real.