The Bachelor – Roses are Starting to Stink

We are enjoying tonight’s episode courtesy of Jose Cuervo.  By enjoying of course I mean booze is required in order for enjoyment to happen. AshLee has the first hometown date and she is going on and on about how much she loves him.  She tells Sean he is just like her dad and it’s odd.  Did she hate her mom more than she loved her dad and therefore ran off to get married? Something does not add up with this chick and while I liked her from the beginning, she is now just a little too creepy for me.

AshLee says she has been waiting for this day since she was 4.  She has brought other men home, and been married, but her love has never been like this before.  AshLee appears to be a little unstable and I feel bad for her mom because we are all watching her and wondering what the hell she did to her kid to make her hate her so much as a teenager.  The whole thing is uncomfortable.  AshLee talks about romance and her parents are a little put off.  Her mom is lovely and wants AshLee to find love.

AshLee’s mom takes Sean off for a chat and they are talking about AshLee’s abandonment issues.  Strange.  Her dad is sweet and I loved his answers to Sean’s question about her previous marriage.  I just don’t see AshLee being the final pick and she is going to lose her mind and spiral out of control at being abandoned by Sean.  She is sweet, and her parents are wonderful, but I am watching her dreams about to shatter and it makes me cry at the exact same time that I am laughing my ass off. Sean is freaked out.

We are off to Seattle to see Catherine.  He sounds like he is talking himself into her and she sounds like she could care less.  It’s very weird.  They are off to meet her mother, grandmother, and two sisters.   Her sisters are obviously jealous and it is hilarious.  The sisters ask Catherine if she would say yes to a proposal and she responds by saying she would give it a try.  Bad answer.  The sisters are not into it, Catherine is not into it, yet here we are in Seattle.  Catherine should be sent home already.  She’s lame.

Sean is meeting with the sisters and they are throwing her under the bus. It is shameful and I find myself hating these bitches right now.  It is not going to work out with whomever he chooses, so why ruin her chances?  They are saying very unflattering things about their sister and it is very unfortunate. The mother is sweet and supports Catherine in a way her sisters could not. Mom tells him to let her know if she is not the one, and Sean wants Mom’s blessing but she does not give him her blessing.

Sean is confused, Catherine is worried, and I am bored.  We are off to see Lindsay who has never been so happy in her whole life.  I think she will be the winner.  They look the best together and seem to have the most in common.  Of course that means she won’t be the winner, but still, she is my favorite.  Sean is nervous to meet her dad who is an Army General.  Sean is cute with her and I see them together.  I bet AshLee is watching this episode at home crying and cutting up a doll that looks just like Lindsay!

Lindsay’s mom is adorable and Sean loves her.  Lindsay is the youngest girl left but she is the most mature.  Sean is off to speak with the General and he is scared, which is super funny.  The General is terrific and I like him a lot.  He gives Sean his blessing and it made my heart flutter.  We don’t really meet the brother but he seems sweet.  The General gives Sean dog tags as a memento of their visit and I will say it again, Lindsay is the winner.  That said, I NEVER guess the winner right.  I hate this show.  I love this show. I never read spoliers!

We just saw a commercial for the Sean Tells All Special that is apparently airing tomorrow night.  Really?  Is ABC high?  Didn’t we talk about this two night bullshit last week?  I AM NOT SITTING THROUGH ANOTHER NIGHT OF THIS.  Dear Lord.  I am totally going to have to watch this show again tomorrow.  My liver is shutting down and I still have an hour to go on this episode.  Why?  Why? Why? Why is this happening?  We are off to Desiree’s house for the final hometown date.  Buckle up people.

Des plays a prank on Sean and it is stupid.  I was not buying it, and I’m not buying that Sean was buying it either.  Her family is sweet and the truth is I liked her parents before we even met them.  They are lovely and she is cute. Her brother Nathan is not into it and thinks the whole thing is stupid.  He does not believe in the process and takes Sean out to put him on blast. I just decided that there is no way I am blogging tomorrow night.  I will tweet about it, but blogging is now out of the question.  Thank you Jose!

The brother says he does not feel the feelings are reciprocated from Sean to Des and it is hilarious.  Sean tries to put her brother at ease but the brother laughs at him.  He calls Sean a playboy and essentially dismisses him. Des is not going to be the big winner. They come back to dinner and everyone knows the brother has messed things up. Des calls her brother out at the table and the awkwardness is outstanding.  Daggers are being thrown while the parents talk about the weather to ease the tension.  Perfection.

Sean can barely kiss Des as the brother has ruined the night and her chances. It’s rose ceremony time and Sean recapping his dates to Harrison makes me want to throw my television out the window.  Sean lets us know Lindsay and AshLee are safe tonight but he is torn between Catherine and Desiree.  Des interrupts the rose ceremony to apologize for her brother. Stupid.  Sean has the final rose in his hands, puts it down and walks away without handing the rose out.  He tells Harrison he likes them both and is unable to make a decision.  He should send them both home.

Sean sends Des home and sits with her outside to talk.  He tells her he is worried he made a mistake and Des agrees.  She is crying, he tells her he prayed on it, and her bitterness is heavy and thick.  He is hugging her, she is complaining, and I want them to wrap it up already.  He whispers to her that he will miss her, and she says then don’t let me go.  Total douchebag thing for him to say.  Which makes sense because in the end Sean is a douchebag. He didn’t start out one, but he sure is one now.

The dramatic music is making me chew on my ice cubes in order to get every last drop of Jose off them.  Next week the final three go to Thailand and then the end is in sight.  Tomorrow promises to be a scripted sack of crap, but I will watch because I am too far in to stop now.  This show makes me angry, does not entertain me, and gives me a headache while watching and a hangover the next day.  I watch, suffer and blog because the last five minutes of the series is worth it.  In the end, for me, romance keeps it real.