Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Hypocrite White Party

News came out today that Adrienne Maloof is not returning next season and so watching it this week takes on a whole new joy because Adrienne is a bitch and a liar. Knowing her time here is coming to an end is fabulous.  We begin at Kim’s house where she is unveiling her new nose.  It would appear she also got her boobs done.  Are those puppies new? 

Faye the skanky whore arrives with Kyle and they bring Kyle’s daughter along with Husband Killer’s daughter Kennedy.  Marisa arrives, who cares, then Taylor calls in drunk off her ass.  She is in love and jetting off to bang some loser and has no idea where her baby is.  She is surprised to learn she is with Kyle and it is just very sad and scary for Kennedy.

Adrienne, the lying sack of steaming crap arrives. Then Kyle and Kim immediately start the gossiping and Marisa says Taylor always leaves Kennedy with Kyle a lot.  Marisa says she would never go away with a guy on a whim.  Really?  Marisa has made it very clear she would love to go away with a new guy for a weekend.  These chicks are insane and crack me up.

Adrienne tells Kim Paul could have done a better job on her nose.  Adrienne is an idiot. Kim’s plastic surgeon arrives to remove the bandages for the big reveal and I am seriously not getting it.  Kim is a freak, and having a party to show her nose is just weird.  Showing it on television is creepy. Kyle makes it all about her and if I were Kim I would stay clear of Kyle at all costs.

Everyone is drooling over the nose and I honestly can’t see the difference. Adrienne is again saying her husband, the man she hates and says abuses her and her kids, would have done as good of a job.  Faye looks on wondering if she should get one too, and Kyle is wondering if it’s time to get her chin worked on.  I cannot stand these Richards women and their friends.

We are at Adrienne’s for a fake family day by the pool and Paul smells a fire. Adrienne gets in the car with her kids and drives off while Paul stays back to take pictures.  Adrienne tells the camera his choosing to stay was a big mistake.  Really?  After all the crap they talk about each other, and we all know the marriage was over already, she thinks that was his big mistake?

Kyle is preparing for her white party and we cut to Adrienne and Paul heading to Kyle’s. Kyle is getting ready and the yard is not done so once again the editing on this show sucks.  Faye is with Kyle and just the sight of her makes me feel sick to my stomach.  Paul and Adrienne are in the car bashing Brandi and denying that they have done anything wrong. Epic losers.

Kyle says the party last year was so bad she thought about not having the party this year.  Such a crock of sh*t.  She would do anything and everything for camera time so there was no way the party was not happening.  Lisa and Ken arrive, followed by Brandi and her pal Jennifer.  Lisa lets us how Adrienne’s self tanner has been left on furniture all over town.

Taylor arrives and acts as if her taking off and dumping her child was totally cool.  She is a husband killing, money hungry, fame whore and I think she is disgusting.  May God bless that little girl and hold her close because the dad is gone and her mom is certifiable.  I am thrilled that Adrienne is not coming back and seriously hope Taylor gets the boot with her.

There is not a lot happening in this episode and it is all quite boring.  Brandi is feeling uncomfortable but greets Kim and then takes off Lisa for a chat while Adrienne is telling everyone how she stained Lisa’s furniture.  Adrienne appears to be a little off.  By off of course I mean a pill may have accidentally gone down her throat.  Allegedly.  (She likes to sue.)

Brandi sends for Adrienne so they can chat and Lisa lets us know in the battle of wits it will be unfair as Adrienne is unarmed.  Hilarious.  Adrienne and Paul go to speak with Brandi who has Jennifer there for back up. Adrienne says a letter is not a lawsuit, and Brandi says the letter resulted in her needing a lawyer and Adrienne says she had to hire one too.

Brandi is telling them why she was upset, Adrienne denies it all, and Paul is trying to take over the conversation.  Paul is defending Bernie, which is hilarious because Paul is now also suing Bernie.  Too funny.  Brandi provides Paul with back up and Adrienne looks on as Paul reads it.  Adrienne is a pig, and now we all know that Paul knows it too.  He must feel like a fool.

It is sad that Brandi needs to carry around her letters of proof but I guess one needs to be armed at all times when entering a lion’s den.  Lisa is talking with Kyle who is doing her lip pursing thing that makes her look stupid and her chin look weak.  Lisa is supporting Brandi and calling Kyle out for not being supportive when last year she lost her mind over the same issues.

Adrienne did not take legal action against Brandi in the same way President Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman.  Taylor is now calling Kyle out for kicking her and Russell out last year, yet allowing Adrienne and Paul to be there.  The whole thing is ridiculous and the only thing we know for sure is that Kyle causes problems, then walks away from them.

The entire group is now talking about what is going on and Taylor is still calling out Adrienne and Paul but they are not having it.  Paul tries to imply something inappropriate is going on with Brandi and Ken and the whole thing is gross.  I am over this show.  Next week Kim tells Taylor she is a drunk.  I mean Kim, while drunk, tells Taylor that she, Taylor, is a drunk. Oy vey.

Also next week, a group of people who cannot stand each other will go to Paris on holiday.  Dear Lord.  It is time for new cities and new casts.  The Real Housewives franchise is dying a slow and painful death and we are all still watching so it will never end.  It’s our own fault for watching a reality show that is not entertaining and unable on any level to keep it real.