Real Housewives of New Jersey – Garbage on Display

You cannot watch this show and not wonder what the hell is going on at Bravo. How is it they think we are finding this even remotely entertaining? We watch because we are addicted not because we are interested, and eventually we will stop This show is embarrassing, these women are pathetic, and whoever had the brilliant idea of trying to turn us all against Teresa should be fired because it is an epic failure.

We start this week with Caroline trying to convince us she was randomly dropping off bathing suits to Jac’s house, and not part of a scripted ambush. Caroline is a liar, a bad actress, and being eaten alive by jealously.  We quickly skip to Chris talking about Jac with the unemployed Manzo kids.  He tries to paint a picture of Jac as loyal and caring, but what we are hearing is that she is unstable, volatile, and crazy.

Chris is saying he might need to uninvite Teresa and Juicy to the Napa trip and it’s hilarious because even the morons at Bravo know that without Teresa and Juicy there we will have nothing interesting to watch except a bunch of people with no personalities talking about nothing because none of them work or have anything interesting to say.  Whoever writes this show really needs to start drinking more.

Jac is talking to the camera about how upset she is about her fight with Teresa and I am dying because she is fake crying and wiping away tears that are not there.  She is faking it and not in a good way.  Over the past few weeks of watching this show the only thing I know for certain is that I am more sympathetic to Ashlee than ever before.  If this is the mother she grew up with, then no wonder she is such a mess.

Teresa is with Juicy and telling us she went to talk with Dina after her ambush with Jac and Caroline.  Juicy is listening to her and I must say it is the most appealing he has been in a long time.  Could it be that Juicy has been getting a bad wrap and in the end he is just a guy, who loves his wife, and made some stupid choices?  Not important really, but he is great this week and we see glimpses of the man Tre loves.

Juicy is telling Teresa to walk away from Jac and Caroline and get new friends.  He is tired of watching his wife be upset and I think he is right. Meanwhile, in an attempt to step away from her toxic friendships and repair things with her family, she calls Kathy to get together.  Kathy is a wet noodle and I cannot find anything of interest about her or any member of her family.  She is two faced and I’m over her.

Cut to Kathy meeting Teresa and it’s just weird.  Teresa is trying to understand what happened between them and move forward, but Kathy is concerned about her friendship with Jac and Caroline.  Teresa explains to Kathy what happened and Kathy is unable to listen with an open heart.  She thinks Teresa is only talking to her because she fought with the other ladies and frankly I think Kathy is being a bitch.

Kathy brings out a diaper cover from when Victoria was a baby, and remembers how close they were way back when.  It’s confusing that Kathy wants to run down memory lane with her, yet is concerned about friendships with people she just met.  Kathy cannot be trusted and I blame Caroline for that.  The best thing she can do for herself and her family is walk away from the trash and focus on her family.

Melissa is doing a phone interview with Ryan Seacrest and we are reminded of what might be the most annoying song ever.  We see Joe Gorga is hilarious, her kids are beautiful, and Melissa is a compulsive liar.  She says she did not want to make a big deal about the song, but it’s what Joe wanted. Really?  Of course she wanted it to be a big deal.  She also says if you work hard and pray you can get what you want.

Marry well and you can get the same things Doll.  Joe gets on the phone with Ryan and makes it all about sex in front of his kids, which is weird.  Melissa says she does not think Ryan likes her song, and she does not care because it only matters what the world thinks.  Well Melissa, on behalf of the world, let me tell you that we really didn’t like it.  It was not good and I won’t buy it, no matter how much you beg me to on Twitter.

Teresa is talking to Juicy about going to therapy with her brother and he is not sure about it.  He tells her he is not into therapy and thinks it’s a bad idea.  That said, he loves Teresa and so if she wants to go he will support her, but he thinks her dad will be pissed off.  Teresa lets us know she did tell her dad and he offered to be the therapist.  Now that would be good television.  Juicy gives her his blessing.

Melissa and Joe are driving to her launch party and when she talks to God she leans forward to look out the window to the heavens.  Hilarious.  God is everywhere Mel, no see to look up.  Meanwhile Chris reaches out to Juicy about how bummed he is, and it’s lame.  Chris should take off the blinders he is wearing when it comes to his troublemaking wife.  Jac is not as nice as he seems to think she is and that’s the truth.

Kathy sits down to talk to Caroline and Jac and tells them how happy she is about Jaime’s wedding, and Caroline uses the opportunity to trash Teresa. Carline is a horrible woman.  Nothing nice about her anymore which is a shame because she used to be great.  She is now openly trying to turn Kathy against Teresa and I am grossed out.  Jac and Caroline need to get fired from this show yesterday.

Teresa arrives to the party and kisses Kathy but blows off Jac and I am proud of her.  Jac is upset she walked past her which proves that Jac is an idiot.  Teresa takes Joe Gorga off for a chat and tells him she will go to therapy with him.  It’s sad really.  They love each other, and that they are trying is nice, but I’m not sure it will work.  That does not matter really.  They are trying and that’s half the battle.

Cousin Rosie is there, totally hammered, and one of the best parts of this show.  Melissa plays her song and has to beg the crowd to get up and dance, which would indicate it is a crap song.  Chris then encourages Jac to go talk to Teresa at the party, which is lame.  Sidebar: the Manzo brothers are not funny and Jac is too old to be wearing blue nail polish.  That they are having this fight at the party is embarrassing.

Teresa is telling the camera she should have punched Jac in the face and I’m wishing she would have.  Jac is trying to throw Teresa under the bus to the camera and we don’t care.  Jac has no neck, which clearly makes her thinking delayed.  Chris and Juicy are talking and I feel bad for them.  Chris seems like a good guy.  By good guy of course I mean he has no clue about how horrible his wife is being right now.

Caroline is now telling Joe Gorga trash about his sister.  Bitch.  Jac is demanding Teresa tell her about their friendship and Teresa could care less. Melissa goes over because they are yelling, Teresa is trying to explain things to Melissa, Jac tells Teresa to F off and storms off.  Jac is a conniving, pathological liar and we are reminded that Danielle Staub was good television.  Jac is now crapping oll over Teresa.

Chris is trying to be a mensch while Jac is humiliating herself.  Melissa tells Teresa she was pregnant, hormonal and hating her when she reached out to her enemy Danielle.  That Melissa is admitting this proves that Teresa has been right about her.  People think Melissa works so hard to be good, but she just admitted she went to Danielle to cause problems for Teresa.  I think that speaks volumes about who Melissa is.

Melissa apologizes for talking to Danielle and tells her she would never hurt her.  Really?  Melissa spends a lot of time trying to hurt Teresa.  Tre smells like a rose and the other chicks are smelling like garbage.  It is impossible to know what is really going on, but from the perspective of a television show, Teresa is the clear cut winner here.  Watching the family all get along is a great thing and I liked it.

Next week will be the start of therapy for Teresa and Joe Gorga, so that should be interesting.  By interesting of course I mean not at all interesting. This show is bad.  I’m willing to stick by the family and let them all stay, but Caroline and Jac have got to go.  This show is giving me a drinking problem, but I am in it so I’ll keep watching.  I will blog about it, and do what Bravo has been unable to do.  I will be keeping it real.