A Bethenny Blog for Ireland

I have not written about Bethenny for a few weeks.  It’s hard to watch her let alone write about her.  I have not recapped the last couple of weeks of Bethenny Ever After because it’s a broken record.  She recycles the same jokes, the same stories, and the same drama.  The other issue is that when I watch it I find myself on the verge of projectile vomiting and that is just not cute.  Bethenny has become really bad for Bethenny.

I was quite content to not blog about her for a while, until Ireland stepped in.  I have many readers in Ireland and talk about luck of the Irish, they don’t get Bethenny’s current season and are relying on my recaps to keep them in the loop.  So cute that they reached out to ask me to blog, and so sad they are craving info on the train wreck that is Bethenny Frankel. I often wish we did not have her show here.  Ah, the luck of the Irish.

I am going to blog about Bethenny today for Ireland.  This one is for you!  I am going to make it quick to avoid any heaving, but you will get the idea.  I will recap the last episode of Bethenny Ever After so you can join in the nightmare. Important to note she has the roughest life in the world and we must all take pity on her and her very difficult life.  Also worth mentioning, Bethenny is a pathological liar who likes to wallow in her own crap.

It’s Bethenny’s birthday and she has gone to Mexico with Jason and her entire staff.  By staff of course I mean her “friends”.  I find it interesting that all of her friends are on payroll.  Jason is explaining how exhausting his life has become because all they do is fight.  We know you fight Jason.  We have been watching her rip your balls off for years.  Maybe you are tired because selling your soul to the devil for money is a lot of work.

Bethenny and Jason are at dinner and she immediately sets into attack mode.  She is complaining he does not trust her.  She also says that it’s ironic the trust has nothing to do with infidelity.  Why is that ironic?  Is it because she has cheated in the past and so one would think she was not cheating again?  It was an odd thing to say and I’m curious what she meant by it. Then Bethenny reminds us of exactly why she is so repulsive.

Bethenny has decided that should something happen to her and Jason they will place Bryn in the care of their employee RaRa.  Jason has two loving and caring parents, but they would leave her with someone they have known for a year?  Those grandparents love her more than anyone and yet they are out?  RaRa is good because she buys her presents?  Really?  Bethenny is lame. Why not give her to Julie, who is in fact Bryn’s Godmother?

Watching Jason and Bethenny bicker constantly is not entertaining.  That she is willing to take her show to this level is interesting.  It’s a series of fighting, miscommunication, self-pity, and blatant meanness.  They are horrible to each other.  Jason is mean to her too, but he clearly tries to keep it private whereas Bethenny wants everything on camera.  Bethenny went from being spontaneous and fun to simply horrid and shrill.

Bethenny is walking around in a bikini and like her or not, her body is banging. She looks great from the neck down.  The staff/friends arrive and Bethenny is clearly relieved to not have to spend time alone with Jason.  They are all on the beach, with Bryn, and a little boy comes over to visit. Bethenny takes the opportunity to make sexual innuendoes in front of the kids.  Seriously, this chick is just not funny or appealing.

Bethenny and Jason fight again, and she takes off to have lunch with RaRa and Jason stays with the baby.  Bethenny lets us know they are still fighting about money, his family, and the same crap we have been listening to for years.  It is just gross.  Bethenny says she tells Jason she does not respect him and he is equally mean to her.  It’s bad of both of them but I’d be willing to bet on who throws the first punch.  Bethenny likes the drama.

Bethenny is at lunch with RaRa and I must say I like RaRa.  She is calm and lovely.  Bethenny drinks a lot which is interesting. Bethenny calls Jason in the room and asks him to join her for lunch, is then surprised when he hangs up on her.  She is so bitter and depressing I would have hung up on her too. She is mean to Jason and spends a lot of time humiliating her husband for the world to see.  By the world of course I mean not Ireland.  Lucky.

Bethenny is once again talking about how she is damaged and I want to cut myself.  These two need to break up.  There is no trust, no love, no respect, no joy, no fun, no peace.  Why stay?  They don’t appear to even like each other.  They are talking in circles around each other.  Each think the other is meaner and the other is in more pain.  There is no reason to be airing this dirty laundry on television and to leave this as a legacy for Bryn is gross.

Sidebar:  I think the best thing Bethenny can do for herself is get in touch with Jill Zarin.  Bethenny was her best self when she was with Jill and I think she needs her back in her life.  Their break up was silly and a true waste.  Bethenny needs Jill, now and they should reach out to each other.  I really think Jill could be good for her right now.  Jill was authentic and Bethenny needs a real friend right now, not one that she pays for.

Jason and Bethenny have this awful morning and lunch, then go to a couples massage.  It was stupid.  If they think we think there is any sexual chemistry between them they are insane.  It’s a lame scene and served no purpose on the show except to disgust us and make us all feel dirty.  I need another cocktail to get through it.  A real cocktail, not a Skinnygirl crap juice. This show is stupid and shows signs of being bipolar.  I’m so done.

Bethenny and Jason have been going at it for the entire vacation, now all of a sudden they are touchy feely and in love. Ridiculous.  Bethenny is talking about her mother as they share a birthday, and it’s so stupid.  Call your mother and get over it.  Karma is a bitch and as the mother of a daughter she should be trying to mend her relationship instead of bitching about it all the time.  Your life is hard.  We get it.  Snap out of it already.

Jason gives Bethenny a necklace for her birthday and she cannot hide the fact that she does not like it.  Her fake response is actually quite funny. She does not like the length and keeps trying to shorten it.  Miraculously, if you jump ahead a few minutes, she is wearing the necklace but it has been shortened.  This show is lame and if it were not for the magnificent country of Ireland, I would be using my time much more wisely.

It’s Bethenny’s birthday dinner and she is with her paid friends, Jason and Bryn.  They give her a book of pictures of her journey and I want to hurl.  She is fake crying, sniffing, and it is calculated and fake.  She can try to make us feel sorry for her all she wants, but it’s not happening. There is something just not real about her reactions to anything.  It is all scripted and she‘s not a good enough actress to make me buy it.

Julie writes about how much she has enjoyed their time together and you have got to wonder about Julie’s leaving.  She is the Godmother yet not in line to get Bryn incase of a tragedy. She is the godmother, yet not invited to friends weekend in the Hamptons, but rather left at the office with the other paid friends.  I think Julie got sick of being used and decided to get a life instead of getting buried under Bethenny’s fake life.

Next week actually looks like it will be good.  By good I mean I may need to blog about it because it will be layers and layers of crap, and that is blogging gold.  This show is sad and no amount of money or fame is worth doing this to a family.  I feel bad for everyone on this show, including Bethenny.  She got what she wanted and in the end will have nothing that really matters.  She is famous, rich, alone, lonely and unable to keep it real.