Real Housewives of NYC Reunion = Nap Time

After what may have been the most pathetic housewives season ever, we are now given a reunion that put many of us to sleep.  One cannot even speak of this show without pointing out the obvious.  What the hell have these chicks done to their faces?  The amount of plastic surgery rivals Orange County.

Heather has weird eyes, Carole has brought unneeded attention to her unfortunate overbite by doing her lips, Aviva is Botoxed up the whazoo, Ramona is stretched to the limit, Sonja has probably actually Botoxed her whazoo, and Luann appears to have had a bad chemical peel on her chest. The ladies don't look good.

Andy is clearly a fan of Carole but after five minutes in, I’m done.  Luann and Carole are going at it about such silliness that I’m laughing. At them for being so childish, and at myself for watching. Carole is being a total twat and I honestly don’t get why she did the show if it is so beneath her.

They are talking about borrowing clothes from designers for about 10 minutes longer than they needed to.  Who really cares about any of it? Luann borrowed a dress, Carole was embarrassed.  Done.  The entire conversation should have taken 20 seconds, not 20 minutes.

It is clearly the new ladies against the old, which is lame.  We don’t care about the old ones anymore, and the new ones are not that interesting. They are talking about Aviva’s ex husband Harry and saying everyone talks about him too much.  Really?  Aviva talks about Harry too much.

Aviva talks about everything too much.  Her anxiety issues, ex, leg, education.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  Aviva has nothing of interest to talk about and so she repeats the same four subjects.  Aviva is a mean girl and there is nothing she can do or say to hide it.  Aviva is simply a bitch.

Aviva talks about how she lost her leg and cries.  I get it, but even her storytelling is annoying.  God Bless her for sharing, and for all the work she does to help others, but enough.  Aviva is not good television and she needs to be fired.  She cries about her leg without one single tear.

She does not want to be the girl who can’t get on a plane with her daughter to Paris.  Really?  Aviva is a snob, her dad is a pig, and she is bad for Jews on reality television.  Why do the Jews on television always have to be weird?  Can’t we get a regular person who happens to be Jewish?

Sidebar:  My favorite New York Jewess is coming back to Bravo.  Next Monday night, after part 2 of the NYC reunion, Jill Zarin will be Andy’s guest on Watch What Happens Live.  While I’m happy to see her back on television, how they are doing bringing her back seems a little odd.

I spoke with Jill before she shot the show, and right after.  She was taped, not live, there was no bartender, and no audience.  They are showing commercials every two seconds so clearly they know a ratings grabber when they see one.  It will be interesting to see how it goes.

There will be Jill bashing of course, but love her or hate her, Jill Zarin is good television.  She is a quintessential New York Jew and she should be invited back on the show. or perhaps given her own. She was fired, she was bitter, she’s now fine. Move on and get her back on TV.

Blogs were started specifically to hate on her, which means that people were watching, and that matters.  Bravo made a mistake.  We all make mistakes, and the key is how we recover from them.  Bravo should bring Jill back. Numbers and hate will soar because Jill is good TV.

Before we go back to the reunion, let me just say that Bravo should bring Jill back for no other reason that she will take these chicks to the dentist.  It's worth it for that alone.  How such financially secure women can have such unfortunate teeth is fascinating to me.  Back to the show!

Ramona is very fidgety, Sonja looks absolutely gorgeous, and Heather is speaking calmly and fairly.  Heather says she would take Ramona on a trip now, but I don’t believe it.  They are talking, but saying nothing of substance or interest.  Andy is struggling to make a show out of nothing.

Ramona denies blackmailing Luann, Luann won’t discuss it, and they say they are cautious of each other.   Dear Lord this is moving very slowly.  Ramona and her perfect and fabulous ovaries are suffering through hot flashes and I am on my third glass of wine.  The ladies of NYC suck.

We are now recapping the St. Bart trip.  Oh. My. God. Make. This. Stop. Aviva is fake apologizing to Ramona and Sonja, and Sonja is not buying it.  I like Sonja when she is not a crying, drunk mess.  When she is on her game, she is perfection.  Ramona is hot mess having a hot flash.

Ramona fakes cries and starts to stutter.  Terribly, terribly, terribly, again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.  Aviva is smirking, Ramona is shaking, Sonja is disgusted, Luann is invisible, Heather is level headed, and Carole is too important to care about such drivel.

Sonja calla Aviva a liar, Ramona is unable to go through the hurt again, and Aviva is lying her ass off.  Sidebar:  Ramona is slouched on the couch and looks very sloppy.  Did anyone else notice it?  She looks like she is about to pass out, or perhaps pass wind.  Either way, not cute.

The NYC reunion is going is 2 parts, which is ridiculous.  The only good thing is we get to hear all about Luann’s whorish ways next week so that will be worth it.  This show is bad, but like all good crack, it is impossible to give up.  I’ll be back next, struggling to stay awake, but keeping it real.