Real Housewives of New York – The Great Escape

We are still in the Berkshires, which normally would be a great statement, but here is painful. Heather is hosting the women for a weekend and Ramona is hell bent on ruining it. Ramona Singer is no longer good television and she needs to be fired. How is it Porsha is being fired from RHOA for hitting Kenya, but Ramona is unscathed for throwing a glass of wine at Kristen’s face? We know Mario bangs around so maybe Ramona is servicing someone over at Bravo? 

If you thought fans were sick of Jill and ready for her to go, well Jill’s got nothing on Ramona. This woman is vile and we’re done. We not only think she is gross, but her treatment of Sonja is shameful. Sonja is great TV and the one we not only want to watch, but are invested in outside of the show. It is time for someone to be a real friend to Sonja and that is never going to be Ramona. I appreciate they’ve known each other a long time, but all that means is that Ramona is old.

We pick up this week with nurse LuAnn tending to Kristin’s cut lip. It was a violent act, but at the end of the day Kristen’s reaction is disproportionate to the damage. Ramona is talking to Sonja about hitting her, and Kristen is talking to Carole. If you didn’t see the wine cup being tossed, and were only listening to the fallout, you’d think there was a murder attempt. It is quite funny. Not funny Ramona attacked her, but funny Kristen is so dramatic, calling it “breaking her face”.

Ramona is talking about her childhood and how lashing out at Kristen was something her dad would do during her violent childhood. Sonja cries and insists Ramona is not like her dad. Ramona says the violence was 20 years ago, then says it was 30 years ago, and while I don't doubt Ramona had a difficult childhood, she is full of shit and using that as a reason to defend her horrible actions and plot her great escape. Ramona never wanted to go to the Berkshires.

Ramona wants to leave, Sonja tells her she can’t go, Heather tries to make it better, and Kristen is dealing with a broken face that may make it impossible for her to ever model again. Heather tries to defuse the situation and it is like watching a doctor talk to a mental patient. Ramona is a whack job and very concerned with her hair, which is not looking good. Kristen is outside icing her face and Ramona goes out to apologize. By apologize, of course I mean there is no apology.

Kristen is not accepting the fake apology, and Ramona is pissed Kristen had the balls to get her hair wet. Ramona is talking about her childhood, unclear on the dates, screaming at Kristen, and I have a headache. Ramona is a pathological liar, much like Bethenny, and I’m not buying what she said. It is all in the delivery, and Ramona’s sucks.  Ramona has a pole stuck up her ass. Kristin is holding a grudgeand I feel bad for Heather that these chicks are ruining her weekend.

She is trying to have a nice dinner so cut to the arrival of Elvis. Oy vey. Kristen LOVES Elvis and Heather surprises her with an impersonator. Cute idea but I do a better Elvis than this guy. That said, Kristen is thrilled. Heather is happy for her friend, which is sweet. Even though Kristen is being a whining baby, we are shown that Heather and Kristen are bringing this show back to life. If it weren’t for those two, and our sincere investment in Sonja, this show would suck.

Time for breakfast and everyone is in pajamas while Sonja is rocking leopard lingerie and a thong. Cut to Ramona, she called a friend to ask him to pick hr up in his “private plane”. She is bailing but when Carole comes to check on her, she says she is organizing her stuff. Ramona is planning her great escape, and has been since before she even got there. Ramona says the tension is unbearable. I’m sure the tension is as traumatizing at Kristen’s broken face. 

They all go for a walk in the woods and Ramona is going off on a tangent about the woods reminding her of her childhood. I do not doubt for one minute the woman has bad memories, but she is LYING and we can all see it. This is all part of her elaborate scheme to get the hell out of the Berkshires. She is going to fake cry in three, two, one…. Here you go. She needs to leave and go to the Hamptons. The plane is standing by and she is heading out. NO tears is NOT crying!

Ramona explains to Heather she is going home because it is too stressful for her. She is packed and ready to go, so Carole is taking her to the airfield. She does not say goodbye to anyone, just heads out. There is not a lot of compassion from Kristen on the traumatic childhood of Ramona. Sonja is crying ad screaming and defending Ramona. Sonja is a great friend and it bugs me she cries for Ramona when Ramona left without saying goodbye. That is not a friend.

Kristen is still talking about her bleeding lip and I am now over Kristen this week. She knows exactly who Ramona is and needs to stop complaining. Cut to Ramona being whisked off in more of a puddle jumper than private plane, but there she goes.  Back at the house, everyone finds out Ramona did not leave the woods, but actually left the Berkshires. Everyone is relieved, except for Sonja who clearly has hurt feelings. Sonja puts Ramona first and Ramona dumps all over Sonja. 

The boat captain is barely 20 and Sonja is all over him. She is flirting up a storm. She asks the young lad if he is on Christian Mingle, then says she was but was deemed unmatchable. Perfection. The girls are swimming and laughing and it is so much fun, then Carole starts with the gossiping and sucks the life right out of it again. Why can’t we just have some fun? Why can’t we watch Sonja dance for the captain and enjoy it for a minute before the pot is stirred?

Back at the house, Kristen calls her husband and tells him how Ramona tried to killed her. The girls go out for a final dinner in the Berkshires. They are talking about being bisexual or something and LuAnn gets a text that Ramona is in the Hamptons at a party. Everyone is figuring out Ramona had planned to leave from the beginning, but Sonja does not believe it. She is certain Ramona would never leave her and not say goodbye unless she was upset and panicked to get out. 

LuAnn gets a picture of Ramona at the party in the Hamptons and Sonja is crushed.  They are talking about Ramona’s behavior being erratic and it is interesting that nobody talks about Mario cheating all over town. Maybe Ramona is crazy because her husband is banging a chick in her bed? They are going to plan an intervention to clarify what is going on and no good will come of that for anyone but us as viewers. Next week will be interesting as they force Ramona to keep it real.