Dating 101: Sex & Golf

Just when I think I have heard it all, I come across a man that reminds me there is nothing more horrific than dating.  I often wonder if these men are only found in Los Angeles.  Is LA the hardest city In the world to date?  I live here so of course I will say yes, but I’m guessing women around the world think their city is worse.  In the end men are men, and no matter where they live, when it comes dating, men are crazy.

I don’t date women, so I will make this about men, but I know it goes both ways and there is a lot of crazy from the chicks too. The truth is that dating is hard. People who are already crazy become crazy on a whole new level when they are dating.  Today I got an email from a man who makes me want to convert to Catholicism and become a nun so dating is no longer an option.  A bold statement for a Jew. Dear Lord.

This is the email I received this morning: “I enjoyed reading your profile and it appears we have a lot in common.  Take a look at mine and let me know if you are interested in pursuing something.  I am looking for a woman who likes sex and golf. I will need you to be involved in both or it won’t work. They are my passions and require your passion so if you can dive in and keep up you are someone I want to be involved with.”

Really?  One must laugh at things like this you will loose your mind.  I wonder if he knows he is a moron and that a nice Jewish girl from the valley would rather be a nun than go out on a date with him.  I will usually delete ridiculous emails like this, but I am going to hang onto this one.  It was a mortifying note and I almost wrote him back. Important to note he is 51, separated, has 3 or more kinds, and sports a comb over.

I appreciate the interest when a man writes me because it requires bravery to contact a stranger, but this man needs a little advice on his journey to find someone.  Men should not write a woman they do not know and tell her sex and golf are mandatory in order to date them.  First of all, before men start making demands of the women they want to date, they might want to get themselves a good haircut and finalize their divorce.

Sex is important in a relationship, but a date is not a relationship.  I would keep that requirement to myself until I actually meet someone and might have sex.  As for golf, I don’t play it, or get it, and have no desire to learn. I will however drive a golf cart for the man I love and sip on a cocktail while he plays his beloved sport. Saying a woman is required to love golf knocks out great women who hate it, but will take one for the team.

Men are a strange.  They are also fabulous, so if one can overlook the strange and search for the fabulous, great things can happen. I pray that each loser gets me closer to the right one.  I also believe someone’s loser is someone else’s Price Charming, so to the woman who loves golf and sex, I wish you the best with your new man.  The search continues.  I am exhausted by the whole thing, but also hopeful, and keeping the faith.