Dating 101: What was your name again?

I had a date Tuesday with a man we’ll call “Dave”. I know his name was Dave because that is how he introduced himself. He is 53 years old, works in medical sales, divorced, 2 adult children, and a seemingly nice guy. He was sweet on the phone, sent me a rather funny text, so we decided to meet for a drink. He met me at a bar in my neighborhood.

He lives in West LA so I appreciated he was willing to schlep to me. I cancelled a date last week because the guy was rude about the valley and wanted to meet part way between our places. When I suggested I’d rather meet at a place I know, he was weird about it so I called it off. I don’t mind schlepping, but on a first date you need to come to me.

Back to Dave, when I got to the bar I sent him a text letting him know where I was sitting. I signed the text Ilana. Important to note when write my name I always put it all in caps or all in lower case, so the i and the l are clear. If I write ILANA or ilana, you see how my name is spelled so it is easy to pronounce and less chance of a pronounciation error.

It is not that unusual a name. There are a lot of Jewish girls named ILANA and actually one other ILANA ANGEL. She lives in London, is also Jewish, spent time in Israel like I did, and although 20 years my junior and no relation, there are similarities which I think is cool. ilana is of Hebrew origin, and means “tree”. ILANA is pronounced ee-LAN-ah.

Dave arrives, gives me a hug and says, “Hi Diana”. I correct him and say, “Its ILANA”. He says he is sorry, then calls me “Lana”. I thought maybe it was loud and he couldn’t hear me so when the waitress came over I ask what her name is, then introduce myself as ilana. The waitress says hi ILANA, then Dave says “what are you drinking Elaina?”

He has now called me three different names, none of them mine. We order drinks, chat about regular first date things, and have a nice time. We weren’t a match for no other reason than there wasn’t a spark of any kind. We wrap up and head outside to the valet. I thank him for the drink and he says to me, “Would you like to go out again Ileana?”

I just laughed in my head and told him I had a nice time but didn’t think there was a connection. He was nice about it, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, “It was nice meeting you Eloma.” I then said, “It was nice meeting you too Donald.” No reaction. Nothing. He clearly was not interested in me because he paid no attention to anything I said. 

I tweeted about my date and one of the freaks who hates me on Twitter said my unsuccessful dating was clearly about me not them as there was a pattern of failure. I have to disagree. I don’t think of these dates as failures as much as steps to finding my Beshert. I do however agree it says more about me than them, and I like what it says about me.

It says I am dating to meet someone special, not just to date. It says I am not willing to settle just so I am not alone. It says I am kind and decent to men who are not particularly kind or decent to me. I am okay with my dating life and am sure that Dave will meet someone who inspires him to remember her name. As for me, I’m keeping the faith.