Real Housewives of Orange County Breakdown Recap

Tonight's typos are generously sponsored by Senor Patron.

I often write about how unreal reality TV is, but when it comes to Shannon from OC, she is real. So real in fact, she appears to be having a mental breakdown for all to see. She came on this show in the midst of serious marital issues, and was, in my opinion, simply unable to handle the cameras and instant judgment by friends, family, and perfect strangers. She is great TV, but also painful to watch. I worry for her, her children, and her marriage. I am also embarrassed for all of them.

We pick up this week at the end of Lizzie’s beach house party. Shannon has stormed out screaming everyone will know the truth. The truth is Tamra is a sack of crap and in need of mental help. She already lost one marriage on this show, is fighting to keep custody of her three young children, and is behaving in a way that makes me think twice about her mental wellbeing in terms of her abilities to parent. She is pathological and a danger to herself and others because she believes her lies.

Shannon is melting down, Tamra is making it worse, David is handling it perfectly, and Brooks keeps looking into the camera. Brooks is a douche. Tamra and Heather are trying to make Shannon mental and it is sad. What a pathetic couple of bitches. I hope Shannon gets her say at the reunion. As for Vicki, she's a bitch too. The moment Shannon started to lose it she should've admitted what Tamra said. Vicki is just as evil by being quiet. I want to punch Tamra in her plastic and frozen face.

Vicki goes to Shannon and Heather tells Terry they should call an ambulance as Shannon is having a psychotic breakdown. Christian finally says something smart and kills that right away. Tamra says she sees in Shannon eyes she has lost it. Bravo is putting people in danger by having Tamra on this show. She is blowing smoke up Heather’s ass and Heather is eating it up. I guess those who crap on others and better able to eat crap. Tamra and Heather are perfect for each other.

Vicki tells Shannon to go, David tells her to apologize, and Heather all of a sudden feels bad. Translation: She does not feel bad. She is too selfish. Vicki has another opportunity to confirm what Tamra said, but she doesn’t. These women are repulsive. Heather is certain she did nothing wrong and it is hilarious. This is all because of Heather and Tamra and we know it. Shannon comes in to apologize and thank Lizzie. Tamra screams Oh God, then tries to get her to stay.

This show is painful. Shannon says she went to the party expecting an apology from Heather and the truth from Tamra, proving she is delusional. She cries in the car, thanks her husband for being supportive, is clearly shaken, but there are no tears. No tears, no crying. Moving on, Heather, Tamra, and Danielle are having lunch. Who cares? They rehash the party and Tamra plays dumb, says she was drunk and has no recollection of what happened. She also hopes it had nothing to do with her.  Tamra has now admitted a drinking problem. 

Does she not realize her judge is watching?  Tamra is saying Shannon is an alcoholic, does not sleep with her husband, and David is beat up by her. Heather is not worried about helping Shannon, but does want to help her stop yelling at her. What a twat. Seriously. Time for Brooks and Vicki to have lunch and talk about their relationship. I am skipping over this. Brooks is gross and Vicki is lame when with Brooks, so there is nothing to watch here. That she is with him at all is odd. My kid doesn’t like who I date and he is out. Period.

Shannon is with her healer getting a treatment. Whatever works. We jump around with horrible editing. I hate when Bravo thinks don’t notice it. Lizzie calls Shannon to check in, and says her actions were justified. Lizzie is looking for camera time and knows it comes with crazy. She needs to be here one season. Lizzie lets Shannon know Heather is not coming to her birthday party so she can come in peace. That party should be a doozy. Time to head over to mother of the year Tamra, who is with her son Ryan.

Ryan tells his mom he met a woman on Instagram and after 2 months is moving away to be with her. The woman has three kids. Tamra cries, with no tears, so not crying. Ryan doesn’t want his mom to meet his girlfriend and Tamra tells him maybe he is crazy since he’s not been well. Tamra tells the camera her ex is trying to get full custody of their kids. She seriously needs to get off this show if she wants to block that from happening. I don’t get Ryan, but I feel for him having been brought up by this insane woman.

Time for therapy with Brianna and Vicki. I am not a supporter of televised therapy so I'm not commenting about this other than to say it is sad, the therapist is an idiot, and Brianna is the only one on this show to cry with actual tears.  Back to Tamra, she is having her mom, her mom’s boyfriend, Ryan and his new girlfriend, over for dinner. What was Ryan thinking? The girlfriend Sarah looks just like Tamra. No good can come of that. Sarah owns a gun shop and within 5 minutes of meeting pulls out her gun to show everyone.

Tamra asks if they are getting married and he says no. Sarah knows what Ryan can eat to stay healthy, but Tamra doesn’t. Mother of the year she is not. Sarah says her mom died of cancer, and her dad took his own life. Tamra starts crying and wiping away invisible tears. Oh. My. God. Ryan wants to change the subject off death and mistakenly mentions their marriage venue. It comes out they are in fact getting married and have set a wedding date. How the hell is this kid paying for a wedding? 

Tamra is now bawling with no tears. She is humiliating herself and poor Sarah is trying really hard not to laugh, which is funny. Tamra makes it all about her and goes outside with Eddie. She ruined the moment for her kid and that is a shame. Ryan and Sarah are leaving and Tamra is still being a baby and crying with no tears. I feel bad for Ryan and am happy for him that he is escaping this woman. I feel bad for her of course, but am happy for Ryan. I am only watching to see Shannon keep it real.