Real Housewives of New York – We Love You Sonja

*Tonight's typos brought to you by Merlot.

I am digging Heather and Kristen enough to keep watching, which says a lot because I cannot stand Ramona and Aviva in a big way. It is fascinating how invested we get in people who are more like us than they are special. These women occasionally entertain us and in return get a check for selling their souls to the reality TV devil. Bless them. 

We are still in the Hamptons. Sonja is with her interns in her rented house, where she has hot water. Aviva arrives and assumes the bartender is also an intern. They are complaining about how hot it is as the bartender stands in the boiling sun to pour drinks for just them? Ramona cancels because she is not feeling well.

Translation: Ramona is staying home so she can keep an eye on her cheating husband. Speaking of Ramona, she is out shopping with LuAnn and Carole. Really? Is the editor at Bravo high? They are at some designer show and LuAnn is showing off the plates she is selling. Really? I’m not buying plates from Countless. Time for gossip to begin.

Ramona tells the girls Sonja’s house has gone into trusteeship and she is being forced to sell it. Ramona is a bitch.  LuAnn tells the camera a friend would not talk about Sonja’s finances in this way, but she joined in the conversations so she is not a friend either. Cut to Heather, Kristen and her kids are over for a play date at the beach. Love these two.

Heather’s perfect husband takes the kids to the beach and Kristen hangs with Heather, then Carole joins. She needs to eat a sandwich. Carole sits down and immediately shares gossip about Sonja’s house. That is idiotic of Carole. Heather calls out the situation with Ramona and Sonja and says what we all think, Ramona is not a freind to Sonja.

Kristen is looking for a new modeling agent. She is told she's aold, but still has some jobs in her. Brutal. The agent tells her if she wants to model she should try Milwaukee. Ouch. Back in the Hamptons, Aviva is having a wine tasting with LuAnn. Did Aviva just tell the wine guy his wine is like urine? I hate Aviva. Hate is harsh, but yes, hate.

Sonja arrives and LuAnn, the “classy” one, wants to talk about her losing her house. Ramona arrives to ridicule Sonja, and they head outside to get tanked. Ramona tells Aviva she spoke with Heather and only made up with her to make peace in the group. Aviva mentions Carole and Sonja loses it. She is not talking about Carole anymore.

Sonja is on fire and LuAnn calls her a bitch. Sonja wants to talk about her “deals” and Ramona shuts her down. Ramona is incapable of supporting Sonja. We know Sonja is overwhelmed, just roll with it and listen. It would appear Sonja is going to open a Walmart when you hear her list of products. I freaking love Sonja, crazy or not.

We are back in the city and Heather has gone to Carole’s. Heather is suing Spanx for patent infringement.  Whatever.  Carole apparently likes to keep her writing sharp by updating Wikipedia pages. The neighbor comes over for comedic relief that falls short. Carole tells them she is going to remodel her apartment. Good for her.

Back to Sonja, watching her clean bathrooms in heals and curlers make me sad. This is a troubled woman who needs someone to help her not put her in a position to humiliate herself. If she had tons of money, this would be funny, but she doesn’t, so it is sad. Ramona comes over and tells her she needs to start looking for an apartment.

Sonja is not listening. She says she has 9 lives, and angels protecting her, so she will not put the negative energy into the universe. Ramona is trying to help I guess, but it would be better received in private, not on camera. Sonja is inviting everyone to the spa for a day of relaxation. Really? This is a massive, piping, crock of shit.

Over to Aviva’s, I just can’t so I am skipping over her. Jumping to Sonja, she is having dinner with her 23 year old lover. Bless her. He is late. By late of course I mean not coming. Sonja is stood up and it is tragic. She calls an intern to see if she will come have dinner with her and it is very sad. Sonja Morgan breaking and I want to punch Ben.

Time to be bored by Carole’s apartment renovation. She wants to turn her kitchen into an office and not have a kitchen because apparently nobody in New York uses their kitchen. Carole is silly and trying too hard to channel Carrie Bradshaw. Time for the spa and the women are arriving. Sonja wants them to bond but Ramona is not into it.

LuAnn, Carole, Heather go in one room for treatments, while Kristen, Sonja, and Ramona go to the hot tub. Poor Kristen is stuck with Drunky and Grey Gardens. Sonja tells Ramona Ben stood her up and Ramona says she spoke with Ben’s mother. Dear Lord. Everyone is disgusted with Ramona and she is defensive. Ramona need to get fired.

Kristen says she thinks Ramona is jealous and Ramona responds by throwing a glass of wine in Kristen’s face. Aviva and Sonja say nothing, but Kristen splashes water on Ramona and her badly blown out hair. Ramona Singer is a moron, married to a pig, and I wish Kristen had pulled her into the water instead of just splashing her.

Ramona blames Kristen for being an instigator and I marvel at how idiotic Ramona is. Kristen is standing up for herself and we see she is a rock star when she says there was a memo about not hitting and Ramona missed it, 65 years ago. I am reinvested because of Kristen and I will watch next week because she is keeping it real.