Real Housewives of New York – Out of Africa

I really like this show but must say that watching Aviva Drescher is difficult. She brings nothing to the table but stress. She truly is an idiot and I just can’t. It is near impossible to find anything nice to say about her. She is repulsive and even drinking wine can’t inspire anything nice. I simply have nothing for this woman. I really believe she should be fired.

We begin with Heather at an event for a jewelry line where proceeds are donated to her charity. All the girls are there except for Aviva, who was not invited. Carole is talking about orgasms to Jacques, Ramona looks like she had some Botox on the flight home from Africa, she is stuffed up, and sounds ridiculous. Still glad she is back though.

Ramona is surprised by the fall out of Heather and Aviva. We can’t tell though because of her filler. Heather explains what happened and Ramona decides she will fix it. Considering she didn’t talk to Aviva for a year, her response it hilarious.  Ramona moves on to wild animals in Africa having sex and wanting us to think she and Mario still do it.

Carole is completely inappropriate when it comes to talking sex in front of the other women’s husbands, and Kristen’s husband Josh is a pig. This is another marriage that will be eaten alive by reality television if they are not careful. Their relationship is uncomfortable to watch. Meanwhile Ramona is pushing Heather to make up with Aviva. Not happening.

Cut to a scripted scene with Sonja, Aviva and Ramona. I can’t stand Aviva. She is ruining this show. Cut to Kristen modeling for Yummie and I am rolling my eyes. What the hell does she need tucked? Heather is there with Carole, who uses every opportunity to talk shit about Aviva, which makes her look silly and immature.

This is written to get Aviva and Heather to talk. While they go back and forth between the two groups I am fast-forwarding through it because it is crap. We go to Heather’s husband who is buying her caviar for their anniversary. Bravo makes him invite Carole and Kristen. Ugh. Carole is once again inappropriate and Kristen talks crap about her husband.

Aviva and Heather meet for a drink. Dear Lord. Aviva looks constipated and Heather is a rock star. I cannot stand to watch Aviva. She is a horrible person and everything she says shows just how gross she is. She says Heather “verbally raped” her and I seriously want to push her down some stairs. Not really. I’m kidding. It would totally be an accident.

Heather is amazing and I love her. Aviva tries to make this about Heather slamming stay at home moms, which is stupid. Aviva is stupid. Educated, but stupid.  Aviva has a really big mouth. Literally. They fake make up and I applaud Heather for staying true to herself. She does not invite Heather to her anniversary party and I am glad she didn’t do it.

We jump to Ramona, Mario, and Avery at home. Avery is mean to her mom, Mario looks relaxed from banging his mistress, and Ramona looks pathetic. This scene is ridiculous and I am skipping it.  Brandi and Yolanda from RHOBH go to lunch with Kristen and Carole and I could not possibly care any less about it and am skipping over this crap too.

Cut to Aviva, Ramona, and Sonja. Aviva tells them she had a successful meeting with Heather, then reads a text telling her she is not invited to the party. Aviva is a dumbass. Then Dumb and Dumber say they won’t go to the party in solidarity of Aviva. This is Ramona getting revenge for London, and Sonja not having a mind of her own.

Aviva thinks it speaks volumes of how liked she is. Poor Aviva. It must be hard to be so dumb. We are now at Heather’s party. She looks beautiful, Carole’s hair is ugly, Kristen and Josh arrive fighting. They don’t like each other, don’t have sex, and are embarrassing themselves on TV. This is not going to end well, but it is going to end.

LuAnn tells the girls Ramona and Sonja are not coming. I’m not paying attention to the dialogue as much as the sunset. They have a five minute gossip session but the sun goes from setting to dark so clearly they filmed over and over again because someone didn’t know their lines. This show sucks tonight and I don’t get why LuAnn is there.

I want to love this show because it is fun to watch and blog, but it is not great. We are watching fake friendships, strained marriages, women treating each other badly. I’m not that interested. I keep hoping each week will get better, but that isn’t happening. I am watching, and I will blog, but I’m not totally digging it, which is me keeping it real.