The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap – Week 1

NeNe, Kandi, Cynthia, Porsha, Phaedra, and Marlo are back and it is going to be good.  By good of course I mean they will drive us to drink.  I’m not an African American, but if I were I am certain I would find these women mortifying.  They may not be a good representation of what it means to be a powerful black woman, but they are good TV.  We start off with Nene who is opening up wedding presents with Gregg.

Some people thought it odd that a rich bitch like Nene would register for gifts, but why not? She got married and I like that she registered for things she wanted.  She is talking about Porsha and saying that her husband, what’s his name, was a douchebag in how he ended their marriage.  Bravo.  I thin he is a loser and good for Porsha that she is back with her head held high.  We are now with Porsha who is starting over.

She is preparing for her divorce deposition.  She is going to war and not afraid to air her dirty laundry.  Rock on sister. Porsha found out about her divorce on Twitter.  Dear Lord.  Interesting that her lawyer is the same as Nene.  I hope she takes the loser to the cleaner.  She cries when talking to the lawyer and I really feel for her.  She was trying to have a baby and then got completely blindsided.  Such a bastard.

Porsha is gorgeous.  So is Cynthia, who we are with now. Her boob job looks fabulous and I am a little surprised that she is still married to Peter.  I didn’t think they would make it.  She is moving her school’s location to a building Peter bought.  By bought, of course I mean he didn’t tell her he was buying it.  Peter is shady and not to be trusted.  Ms. Kenya Moore pays Cynthia a visit.  Kenya is all kinds of good crazy.

Cynthia says they have not spoken for months, so you have got to love the scripted visit for the cameras. Kenya looks good.  Cynthia is having a party for her new space and invites Kenya, who is not talking to any of the other women. Kenya talks about her eviction and says the landlord was a liar and tried to discredit her. None of them like each other and it is the forced friendships of these women that are interesting.

Cynthia tells Kenya she has burned bridges and needs to fix things with the group.  We are then talking about Walter again.  For the love of God. Who cares about Walter?  I do think it was shady of NeNe to invite Walter to her wedding.  It was not necessary and Kenya’s feelings should have trumped that invitation. Kenya is going to try to come to the event. Translation: Bravo is going to pay Kenya to attend Cynthia’s party.

Over with Phaedra, she has had another baby.  A little boy named Dylan.  He is beautiful.  Phaedra and Apollo are moving into a new house, which Phaedra wants to us to know is in the best neighborhood in the south.  She is so pretentious.  I like Apollo, and his chest.  Baby Ayden is now 3 and absolutely perfect. I love that kid.  I think it is hilarious that the southern belle is living in squalor.  Her home is a freaking mess.

We are now with Kandi, who is settled in her new house and planning her wedding to Todd, the Kanye West lookalike. She is name-dropping right from the get go.  Bless her.  Kandi looks good, but I’m not a fan of the hair.  Kandi clarifies that she is not a sugar momma, and says she don’t do scrubs. Funniest line ever. Kandi’s family is not into her getting married and it is sad. He deserves an easier road this time around.

Kandi’s mom thinks Todd has ulterior motives.  Whatever. Kandi has money, get a pre-nup and call it a day. Todd wants to address it and move on, but Kandi is not too excited about dealing with is.  They are talking about Cordell and Porsha. That will be a topic of conversation for the entire season.  It will be interesting to see if Kandi ever gets married.  We now jump back to Porsha, who is having lunch with NeNe.

NeNe says Kenya did not respond or come to the wedding. Kenya says it was because Walter was there, and the crazy has begun. NeNe points out that Porsha is still wearing her wedding ring. Porsha is not ready to take her ring off and I think that is both sweet and sad. Important to note that Nene looks amazing. These women are working it. Porsha wants to reconcile and my heart hurts for how naïve and stupid she is.

Porsha is with her mom and sister talking about her deposition with Cordell. He was honest in his answers, but has no explanation or reason as to why he filed for divorce.  She is crying and I feel for her.  It is crushing and I feel her pain. She is young and beautiful and to have the rug pulled out from under her is shocking.  Her pain is palpable. She wanted to serve God through her marriage vows and the loss is great.

Porsha’s mom says that Cordell came to visit Porsha in the hospital only one time when she suffered a miscarriage. She is better off without him and while that is impossible for her see, she will get clarity one day. Cordell is not the man for her.  He is not a real man.  Cordell is a coward and now we all know exactly how much of an asshole he is. Porsha clarifies that her tears are not her husband, but for the loss of her marriage.

Time for Cynthia’s party.  It is raining and apparently Apollo did not get the memo that everyone was supposed to wear white. Kenya arrives and it is going to go down. Kenya hugs Cynthia and Kandi, then jumps right into divorce talk with Porsha.  They have no relationship and hat is how she opens up talks?  Oy vey.  Phaedra is also ignoring Kenya.  NeNe and Kenya get in front of each other and Kenya starts dumping on NeNe.

Kenya says nobody reached out to her during the eviction, and NeNe points out Kenya never reached out to her during her wedding.  Kenya wants to know if NeNe invited Walter and compares Cordell to Walter.  Kenya never had a real relationship with Walter and she needs to move on.  NeNe and Kenya are now going at it.  Kenya will not stop talking, Cynthia is mortified, and Nene is taking charge. Nothing changes.

Atlanta is back. The women have never looked better which makes their crazy even more fascinating.  They look like ladies but can't quite seem to act like ladies.  Bless them.  It is going to be a wild season with a lot of drama.  I will keep my liquor cabinet stocked because I am guessing it is going to take a lot of booze to make it through a season with these women, even if they do manage to keep it real.