Good Whore. Bad Whore.

I use the word whore a lot.  I have no problem calling a woman a whore, and I get asked about my use of the word often.  Some are offended by the ease in which I label someone a whore.  Important to note that calling someone a whore is not necessarily always meant as an insult.  By definition, a whore is a woman who engages in sexual acts for money.  It can also be a promiscuous or immoral woman. There are both good whores and bad whores.

I am comfortable using whore as a label, and to clarify, I have nothing against whores. A prostitute is a whore, but she is also a businesswoman.  She is selling a service that is hers to sell.  What a woman wants to do with her body is her business.  When a married man goes to a whore, he is breaking a vow, she is simply doing her job.  If she ran her business with morals she would have no clients.  She is not there to judge.

When a woman sleeps with a married man, and she is not a prostitute, she is still a whore.   If you are going to sleep with a man that you know is married, I think you are a whore.  The man is more at fault, but you are a whore. It goes against all decency and all codes of womanhood.  As an example, LeAnn Rimes, Camilla Parker Bowles, and Angelina Jolie have all been whores in the past.  People are forgiving and forgetful, which is nice.

These women all slept with men they knew were married.  I know love is powerful, and alters ones ability to think rationally and make good decisions, but there is a moment, a split second in some cases, where you have an opportunity to walk away from a bad decision, and none of these women did.  Once could argue that they are all good people, and I would agree, however that does not make their actions any less whorish or whorible. 

Anjelina Jolie is a remarkable woman.  She is changing the world for the better.  Her difficult choices in terms of her health are brave, and in sharing her personal journey she is saving lives.  I respect her strength and generosity of spirit when it comes to taking accountability as a human being and wanting to save and help other less fortunate than her.  I truly think she has the soul of an angel.  She also knowingly slept with a married man.

Camilla Parker Bowles is an interesting woman.  Once could argue she sacrificed her own happiness for love and it was admirable.  She loved a man, she was deemed not good enough for him, and sat back as the world watched him marry someone else.  I can almost feel sorry for her because knowing love and having to walk away from it is painful.  In the end she is now married to her beshert, but she knowingly slept with a married man.

LeAnn Rimes is not only a whore, but she is also malicious.  When faced wtih the decision of sleeping wtih a married man, she was not concerned with hiding it.  She is so malicious that she continues to gloat about it. Anjelina and Camilla have handed their indiscretions with as much class as one can expect in such a situation.  A couple of slipups of course, but overall have tried to minimize the damage and do not talk about it publicly.

LeAnn gets some kind of sick enjoyment out of reminding the world that she is a whore.  She slept with a married man, while she was married, then married the man she had an affair with. It happens all the time. Anjelina and Camilla did the same thing.  What makes her so unsavory, is that years later, she still likes to talk about it.  Actually, it is all she talks about.  She talks about it all the time.  People are sick of her talking about it.

LeAnn spends her time making sure that people remember she is a whore.  By time of course I mean every waking moment.  She tweets about it, sings about it, posts pictures about it, and will talk to anyone who will listen about it.  LeAnn has climbed to the top of the mountain, yelled to the world that she is a whore, then jumped into hell to talk about it. She is exhausting to us, so I can only imagine how tired she must be. Bless her.

There are also good attributes to a whore and women should be open to them.  One of the best things a woman can do in a relationship is be whorish. Sex is important and creates a powerful bond.  Not just the act of sex, but the intimacy that comes from being naked with someone.  As women I think we can sometimes get caught up in the mechanics, rather than focusing on all the parts that make a whole.  Sex requires us to make decisions.

We make choices about who we sleep with, when we sleep with them, and how we sleep with them. If women could embrace their own inner whore, it would result in better sex, closer intimacy, and ultimately a more respectful appreciation of how great sex can be. When was the last time you got naked with your partner without having sex?  In terms of how we act in our sexual relationships, being whorish can be a good thing. 

If men say that they go to professional whores because they want things they cannot get at home, then why not be whorish for your partner so he does not feel the need to go find one? It is not that simple of course, and men cheat for a lot of reasons, one being they are simply assholes, but we need to allow ourselves to understand that in being more free, we can bring pleasure to ourselves. Don't want to do it for him? Then do it for you.

If we can try to not think about what we are doing, and pay more attention to how we are doing it, our inner whores can be found.  The key to good sex is to relax, which can be hard to do. There is nothing wrong with the word whore, and there is nothing wrong with my using it. There are good whores and bad whores, and in the end they are all people. Perhaps the bad whores just need to spend more time keeping the faith.