Shahs of Sunset Whack Finale Recap

We start the finale by wasting ten minutes on a season recap.  Really? We barely made it through the season the first time and they are making us watch the crap all over again.  We are back at Sammy’s house for the party from hell. Lily is still complaining, Asa is still bitching, GG is still attacking, and I could honestly not care any less.  GG gives a fake apology to Asa but Asa is not having it.  Asa is very odd and her ramblings about being a Persian Priestess and diamond water make me laugh at her.

Her vocabulary sounds like a teenage boy on the schoolyard trying to sound cool.  Asa is rude and juvenile, but tries to come across as deep and spiritual. If Asa were as calm and at one with herself as she wants us to think she is, she would not speak as she does. The only thing more annoying than Asa is Lily.  Reza is trying to get GG to make up with Asa and no matter how much fame has gone to his head, he really should have his own show.  GG tries to fix the situation and Asa responds with total bitchiness.

They go into some whack thing and I am checking out.  GG’s very small mouth is distracting, Lily’s makeup is ridiculous, Asa’s leaving is childish, and in the end GG is sitting alone with Sammy.  Sammy is delicious and that he is out as a main cast mate is a drag.  I wish Sammy had stayed and Lily had never joined in.  I like these people so much that I am sad when they act idiotic.  In the words of Reza, it is a complete sh*t show and he could not have made it any sh*ttier if he had tried.  Amen.

MJ is shopping with her mother and it is sad.  She is an overbearing mother. We all have one so why they choose to embarrass this woman is a mystery. She is harsh and mean on occasion, but she is what she is, she loves her daughter, and I hope they can get past the public humiliation and get to a healthy place.  MJ is lovely and I hope she finds peace.  While MJ shops, Lily goes to visit Asa.  Everything about Asa and Lily annoys me.  I don’t get the appeal of either of these women.  Nails on a chalkboard.

Lily says the man she has loved for 11 years cheated on her, and she is finally ready to walk away because there is no trust.  She then does the classic reality TV fake cry with a cracking voice and no tears.  Lily says she deserves a better man, Asa agrees and shares the universe can help her. Dear Lord.  We then jump to Asa’s rehearsal for her concert.  Her outfit is interesting.  I am so sick of her interviews with the Boy George black hat. How is it that people are actually going to buy her water?

Asa cannot sing and shake her head at the same time and the admission has me laughing hysterically.   Just when I am ready to mock her again, we skip to Mike.  He is telling his parents he is in love and she is not Persian or Jewish.  I think it is horrible that he chose to do this on the show and the reaction of his parents looks fake and planned.  It is the right response of course, but it looks scripted.  As a Jewish mother I can assure you there would have been a tear or two shed.  That’s how we roll.

Reza is with his boyfriend Adam and it is just awkward.  He appears to just not be that into it.  He started off as this great gay man and he is now becoming a sleazy pig.  Such a shame.  I love him though and am most excited to see him on the reunion next week.  Asa is getting ready for her show, going through her rituals while Lily goes through hers.  The lacquer this chick piles on her face and hair is insane.  Does anyone else think it is weird we don’t see Asa’s boyfriend on the most important day of her life?

Important to note that as Asa is in her dressing room getting her hair and  makeup done, on what is the most important day of her life, she drinks Smart Water rather than her diamond water.  All the people who have pre-ordered her diamond water should pay attention to that.  Even she is not drinking it.  Would the magival powers not have helped calm and center her?  How does one say “complete and total crap” in Farsi?  Diamond water is just another way to make money off people who are really dumb.

We meet MJ’s boyfriend “Drizzy”, and he is darling.  I like him and think they are cute together.  GG is getting ready for her own event and we see she has virtually no hair without her extensions.  Back with Asa, her mom comes to visit her and it is really touching.  I love her mom.  It is the first time I find myself liking Asa. To hear her speak about her artistic freedom and how her life would be different in Iran is really touching.  I will not like her again in a minute, but I am loving her right now.

GG is skipping Asa’s event and going out with Anita, who by the way has had some really unfortunate Botox done.  We are told they are best friends now and I am laughing.  Bravo scripted their friendship.  I feel bad for GG and hope she gets back into the good graces of the group.  Asa is taking the stage and her outfit is confusing.  Bless her for rocking her body.  To watch her mother dance to her song made me cry.  Yes I have been drinking, but still, don’t judge.  Asa does her thing and it’s a wrap.

Everyone congratulates Asa and it is weird GG is not included.  The season in over and I am glad.  They will be back I’m sure and I really hope they check their egos at the door and come back real.  The reunion trailer shows that there is still major fighting and the group is torn apart, so who knows what will happen in the end.  They finish off with a food fight in Asa’s trailer and we are reminded that they are immature children, and not able to act their ages or keep it real.