Shabbat comes to ‘Real Housewives of New York’

The new season of Bravo’s popular series “The Real Housewives of New York” recently debuted. And there’s a new housewife in town whose name is Julianne Wainstein, known as Jules. According to her tagline, a Jew and an Asian met in a bar and “made” her.

A “housewife” of Jewish descent is not novel on the “Housewives” series. Indeed, the executive producer of the “Real Housewives” franchise is Andy Cohen, himself a very publicly identified member of the tribe. But, Jewishly speaking, “Real Housewife” Jules is novel in one respect — she and her family visibly and openly keep the tradition.

On a recent episode, her family celebrated Shabbat at their home in the Hamptons (albeit with Hawaiian Punch instead of grape juice or wine). Jules stressed that no matter where the family is, they observe Shabbat and keep tradition.

Speaking as a traditional Jew and law professor who teaches a course on Jewish law and culture, my response to Jules is “Bravo!” Even if she and her family are not adhering to all of the laws of Shabbat observance, she still is among the 23 percent of American Jews who regularly light Shabbat candles, according to the 2013 Pew Report.

For the vast majority of American Jews, including many who say they believe in God, the concept of Jewish law as binding authority simply does not resonate. I co-directed a center for Jewish law and Jewish studies at my university for six years, and the most common question I received, even from somewhat knowledgeable Jews, was, “Why is Jewish law binding today?” This question is not surprising, given that we live in a society infused by autonomy and customization. The prevalence of “cafeteria Judaism” is part of what frustrates so many Jewish professionals in their search for how to promote a greater interest in Judaism among their constituencies.

In my conversations with Jews from a variety of backgrounds and levels of education, I began to notice a shift in understanding when I replaced the off-putting language of “Jewish law” with the more comfortable and familiar language of “Jewish tradition.” The language of “law” suggests ironclad rules and consequences for disobedience that are foreign to all but the most observant Jews. But “tradition” connotes positive associations and the desire for transmission.

Those Jews who are proud to be Jewish and who desire to transmit this pride and sense of peoplehood to their children and grandchildren need to consider their obligation to the Jewish tradition, even if they do not feel bound to observe the law in the same way as the most traditionally observant Jews. This concept of having an obligation to preserve the tradition can also help Jewish educators instill a sense of accountability to maintain the fundamentals of the tradition that have shaped and molded the Jewish people throughout millennia.

Although Jewish law mandates numerous stringencies concerning Shabbat observance that include refraining from all kinds of work, spending money, traveling and using electricity, there is a wide spectrum of observance of these rules, even among those who celebrate Shabbat. For example, the Pew Report also noted that only 13 percent of American Jews avoid handling money on Shabbat, a figure that includes 77 percent of those who identify as Orthodox.

Even if Shabbat is not observed to the letter of the law, its celebration has the greatest potential to safeguard Jewish tradition in a world of increasing secularization. It allows for a much-needed break from our fast-paced existence by carving out sacred time and space uninterrupted by electronics. Shabbat facilitates time with loved ones and spiritual contemplation.

For once, it is nice to see a Jewish reality television star actually embrace her tradition in a meaningful way and make efforts to pass down this tradition to her children. Families who consistently mark off some dimension of Shabbat as an opportunity for a special celebration are giving themselves and their children the extraordinary gift of participation in a timeless tradition and heritage.

This year, the first seder coincided with Shabbat, and so many more Jews than usual sat down to a Friday night dinner with family and friends. Jews who are proud to be Jewish and who want to instill this pride in the next generation must realize that Jewish tradition can survive only if Jews are willing to embrace the uniquely Jewish elements of the tradition. What better way than a Shabbat seder?

Roberta Rosenthal Kwall is the Raymond P. Niro Professor at DePaul University College of Law. She is the author of “The Myth of the Cultural Jew: Culture and Law in Jewish Tradition” (Oxford University Press, 2015).