Thanksgiving Hints


With Thanksgiving just a week away, Auntie has been asked to offer up some of her Helpful Hints for getting along with odd duck family members during the holidays. Who determines which relative is the odd duck/turkey is up to you. In any case, Auntie has some extremely helpful and practical hints to help you out. Here’s how to avoid a dry turkey—simply make sure everyone arrives as close as possible to the requested meal time:

Planning a party, and trying to take the fashionably late friends’ habits into account? Counter their tardiness by sending out invitations with staggered start times. Take bets with the help about who will actually show up before the flambé goes cold.

Then there’s that dear soul who overuses their new electronic device at dinner  (perhaps as a means of avoiding human contact?)—and this, my darlings, is a way for you to benefit from their rude ways…

Overzealous party-goer snapping unauthorized candid photos with their new camera/phone/gadget? Corral those amateur paparazzi by whipping out your own camera to fight fire with fire. Make sure your shots of them are as unflattering as possible . . . extortion can be so much fun.

Auntie would never want someone who has over imbibed to head out on the road, so if Uber, Lyft, or taxi cabs aren’t available, here’s a hint for those darling overnight guests to use:

If you should find yourself waking up on your hosts' settee after celebrating with them, always remember to leave a small gratuity tucked under a nearby knickknack. Depending on the accommodations, it is customary to leave between $2 and $7 per night. If you only have large bills, do not ask for change.

And finally, Auntie wants to wish everyone the most fantastic Thanksgiving you have ever had. Auntie is thankful for her family, her friends, and for every reader and fan—we are all blessed to be living in the U.S.A. 

Auntie Jodi’s Helpful Hints is on Amazon or you can find more of her hints at auntiejodi.com

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