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Rabbi Jacob Pressman: New Year wishes

Last Sunday morning, every seat was filled in Temple Beth Am’s main sanctuary for the funeral of Rabbi Jacob Pressman.
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October 8, 2015

Last Sunday morning, every seat was filled in Temple Beth Am’s main sanctuary for the funeral of Rabbi Jacob Pressman. Rabbi Pressman, spiritual leader of Temple Beth Am for 35 years, community leader and civil rights activist, died peacefully at his home on Oct. 1. Rabbi Pressman was instrumental in founding and/or building not only Beth Am, but also the University of Judaism (now American Jewish University), Camp Ramah, Brandeis-Bardin Institute, Los Angeles Hebrew High, Israel Bonds in Los Angeles, Sinai Akiba Academy and Pressman Academy. “There is no Los Angeles Jewish community as we know it without Jack Pressman,” Beth Am Rabbi Adam Kligfeld said. Mourners also heard from Pressman’s daughter, Judith, his wife, Marjorie, Rabbi Harry Silverstein and Pressman’s son, Rabbi Daniel Pressman.

Rabbi Daniel Pressman said that when his prolific and voluble father asked him who will be delivering his eulogy, the son replied, “I will, Dad.” The senior Pressman paused, then asked, “Do you want me to write it?”

To conclude the eulogy, Daniel Pressman indeed read aloud a New Year’s blessing his father wrote, which the Journal reprints below.


In the new year, may you discover that your home is built on solid rock able to withstand hurricanes, floods, mudslides, earthquakes, wildfires, escalating insurance rates and repossession. 

May it be free of mold, mildew and mice, and safe from termites, rug mites, mosquito bites and family fights.

If you have trouble hearing, may you give in and get a hearing aid. If you have trouble seeing, may you get respectable spectacles. If you cannot drive, may you cultivate friends who do. If you cannot chew, may you acquire designer dentures. If you cannot smell, may you take frequent showers.

May your cardiologist hear no murmur, your dentist see no cavity, your dermatologist see no melanoma, your ophthalmologist see no cataract, and your proctologist tell you, “It looks beautiful.”

May your computer never freeze, your automobile never overheat, your garbage disposal never clog, your refrigerator never melt down, your pipes never spring a leak, your air conditioner never quit even on the hottest day of the year, and your neighbor’s gardener’s roaring leaf-blower break down.

May you be able to decipher your electric, telephone, department store and credit card bills, your income tax forms, Medicare medicine plans and the extra-fine print at the bottom of everything stating they didn’t mean what is written at the top of the contract.

May you solve the mystery of getting from here to there despite coagulated traffic, and may you do so without having to declare bankruptcy at the gasoline pump.

May your children take a liking to you, and your grandchildren call you even when they don’t want money, and your great-grandchildren teach you how to use your computer.

May our brethren of the State of Israel be safe from her hostile neighbors and her enemies in the United Nations, so that she may survive and thrive and be a light unto all nations.

May all 7 billion people everywhere in the world learn to love the people everywhere else in the world so that we can survive the 21st century without blowing up the world.

And should you ever feel alone and unloved, may you know that you are never alone, for God is with you, in you, and loves you, and so do I.

May the Messiah come this year, and if he does not, may you live as if she has, and may you be blessed with the happiest, healthiest, sweetest and most peaceful year of your life.

Shanah Tovah u’m’tukah

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