How do ‘twice-a-year Jews’ feel about that loaded label?

For most of his life, Matthew Michel has walked through the doors of a synagogue on only two occasions every year — the two weightiest holidays in the Jewish calendar and the two that involve the most self-reflection and introspection: Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

“I grew up going for those high holidays, and it feels like the right thing to do,” Michel, a 29-year-old real-estate professional in Los Angeles, said. 

There is a term for Jews like Michel, who typically attend synagogue only a few times per year, at most, but always go on the High Holy Days, on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur — which, combined, could easily exceed eight to 10 hours in a synagogue over a 10-day span.

That term is “twice-a-year Jews,” and it’s widely known among synagogue-goers who regularly attend services and then see the pews fill up during High Holy Days season with people they hadn’t seen since the previous year’s Days of Awe. The term also carries a bit of a judgmental tone, as noted by several rabbis and self-described “twice-a-year Jews” interviewed for this story.

Michel had never heard about “twice-a-year Jews” before he was asked for this story how it made him feel, and though at first he was apathetic about it — “I’m not taking it too personally. I’ve never heard it before, but it’s funny” — he eventually changed his tune.

“I guess I don’t think it’s a very nice way of putting it,” said Michel, who often goes to Wilshire Boulevard Temple for the High Holy Days but said he’s not yet sure where he’ll get this year’s tickets for himself and his girlfriend. “I don’t really appreciate that kind of comment and being labeled and judged on my level of commitment to my religion.”

Irene Dreayer, who produced the ’90s hit show “Sister, Sister,” said that when she grew up in Florida, her parents, although they were involved in Jewish life and in their synagogue, would typically attend services, and bring Irene, only during the High Holy Days. Now living in Los Angeles, Dreayer said she usually goes to either Sinai Temple or IKAR for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but made the argument that it is a mistake to think that “twice-a-year Jews” restrict their Jewish observance to those two days.

“Does that mean you don’t have Rosh  Hashanah dinner? You don’t fast on Yom Kippur? You don’t celebrate Chanukah? I light candles,” Dreayer said.

“Many of our congregants might be categorized as ‘twice-a-year Jews,’ but the truth is they are much more connected than that,” said Rabbi Laura Geller of Temple Emanuel of Beverly Hills, a Reform synagogue. “They might only come to synagogue twice a year for services, but they come to their rabbis; they come to life-cycle events.”

Geller said that while she’d “love to see them more often,” she believes “it’s a mistake to be pejorative about ‘twice-a-year Jews.’ ”

“They are Jews who come to synagogue,” Geller said. “Jews who don’t do anything else or minimally do anything who are still drawn back into a community for the High Holy Days. … There’s power in that.”

Rabbi Ed Feinstein of Valley Beth Shalom (VBS), a Conservative synagogue in Encino, said he’s in “awe” that many Jews feel such a strong desire to reconnect during the High Holy Days and that most who come to VBS stay for the entire service.

“For these people, it’s a very deeply felt commitment, and I [view] that with great respect,” Feinstein said. “I know there are lots of rabbis who have lots of mixed feelings about this, but I’m not one of them. I think this is amazing. I think it’s wonderful.”

Sara Nachlis, a 29-year-old self-described “twice-a-year Jew,” said she takes no offense to the term and enjoys going to Temple Israel of Long Beach for the High Holy Days. For Nachlis, her tradition is “familiar” and “just what you do,” and it “makes [her] mother happy” (of course), but now she also enjoys it. “I go because I want to,” she said.

“I don’t feel like its derogatory, and I feel like it does describe me,” Nachlis said. “I don’t feel bad for going only then.”

And although her religious observance outside of the two biggest holidays is minimal, Nachlis said she has no “set of rules” that she follows. For example, she said she will light Shabbat candles with her mother if they’re having dinner together on a Friday night.

“If someone says, ‘Hey, I’m going to temple on Friday, do you want to come?’ I’m not going to say, ‘No, I only go twice a year!’ ” Nachlis said. “I feel more spiritually Jewish than I feel the need for the actual synagogue experience, except for on High Holy Days, because I feel like you need that then.”

But a few rabbis said that if someone is going to come to synagogue only a handful of times during the year, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur may not be the most representative of what Judaism has to offer.

“I actually feel kind of sad that they only come twice a year,” said Rabbi Susan Nanus of Wilshire Boulevard Temple. “I wish they would give synagogue a chance during the year because, really, High Holy Days are the most somber, the most serious time of the year.”

“Pick two other days,” Geller said, “because the real significance of the high holidays is only fully understood within the context of a more full Jewish year.”

Geller said her top picks are Sukkot and Passover, but she tempered that by adding, “I’m also not naive enough to believe that would happen. There’s something very powerful about these high holidays.”

Rabbi Kalman Topp of Beth Jacob Congregation, a Modern Orthodox synagogue, rejected the term “twice-a-year-Jew.” “Every Jew is a Jew all year round,” he said, but added that attending a synagogue’s Shabbat service and meals is also important in order for someone to get the “full flavor of Judaism.”

“One can make the argument that even though Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year, perhaps it’s better to attend a regular Shabbat,” Topp said. “Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur [and] Pesach night are very intense events. They are holy, cathartic, transformative — but extreme. You have the long days at shul, no eating on Yom Kippur, [a] never-ending meal on Pesach.”

Still, for Topp there’s “tremendous value” in coming just twice a year, both in the inherent significance of attending synagogue and in the potential for more.

“If it’s twice a year, he or she should be open to four times a year next year, or perhaps even, eventually, four times a month,” Topp said.

Perhaps many “twice-a-year Jews” do use the High Holy Days as a stepping stone to increased observance or increased synagogue attendance. Michel, for example, said he feels a pull to connect more often during the High Holy Days season.

“Whenever I’m at temple, I always get the feeling like, ‘Oh gosh, I actually do enjoy it. I should come more frequently.’ And then I get back to my normal life, and I don’t,” he said. But even if Michel gets back to his “normal life” every year and doesn’t increase his rate of attendance, the way he put it, he and his girlfriend will be religiously attached to the High Holy Days forever.

“I picture when we start our own family I’ll have that same type of [approach] — ‘OK, we go at least once a year, at most twice a year.’ ”