Things Are Not Always As They Appear

As we approach Halloween, the non-Jewish (as opposed to Purim) holiday of masks and costumes, perhaps now is a good time to reflect on the truism that things are not always as they first appear to be.

I was reminded of this last week, at lunchtime. As I approached the local Mexican food joint, outside I saw a (seemingly) homeless man I don’t recall seeing before speaking with a (seemingly) homeless women to whom I have given money on several occasions.

I entered the restaurant, and the man came in and stood in line behind me. He said something, I responded, and he complimented me on my smile. Then he asked, “Are we having lunch together?”

I said, “No, I’m getting my food to go, but I’d be happy to buy you lunch.” He declined, while showing me a folded $100 bill in his hand. He then offered to buy me lunch, and I declined. He ended up buying lunch for a local grocery store employee he recognized, who was also in line.

Thinking about how you can’t tell how much money a person has by looking at them, I remembered another recent encounter that surprised me.

I was walking around the Civic Center lagoon near my synagogue, when I noticed four young men on a bench up ahead. I am sad to say, my first uncharitable thought was they might be young troublemakers who might try to steal my cell phone or something. I believe in trusting my instincts, however, and I saw nothing alarming in their manner.

As I got closer, I noticed they were eating, and I thought, “Would a group of thugs bother to come out to the lagoon to eat their dinner? Probably not. They’re probably just enjoying the last of the good fall evening weather, like I am,” and I walked on by them without incident.

On my way back toward my car, I again saw the four young men. However, this time, they were walking toward me. “They didn’t bother me the first time,” I thought, “so surely they won’t bother me now.” Again, my instincts raised no alarm bells.

As they approached me, one of the men said, “I hate to bother you, but…” As he spoke, I noticed a few important cues. First, he spoke in a non-threatening manner. Second, he was holding out a CD, which isn’t something I’d expect a mugger to do. Third, the others with him stood back from him and from me. They did not, in any way, come too close or get behind me or make me feel surrounded.

Instead, the young man with the CD explained it was a demo, which I could have for any dollar amount I may want to give him for it. He said they were rap artists, who sing and speak to various groups about non-violence, as well as HIV awareness.

So not only were they not young troublemakers or muggers, they were, in fact, trying to be part of the solution to the problems of youth violence and the spread of HIV. In other words, they were the very opposite of what I feared they might be. And I never would have known, had I acted on my fear rather than trusting my own instincts.

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