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Meant2Be: Smitten with Judaism

“Honey, I think I might be Jewish.”
[additional-authors]
December 14, 2016

“Honey, I think I might be Jewish.”

Letting these words hang in the air, I opened my eyes and looked at my husband, Adam. His dark eyebrows were up as far as they could go, and he was giving me a bemused sort of smile that I’d seen from him often. It was a chilly, late November night in 2013, and I already had all of our Christmas decorations up, strings of multicolored lights twinkling peacefully on our fake tree. 

Adam and I had met in 2008, the old fashioned way. You know: Girl decides she wants to learn kung fu and tries a class at her local martial arts studio. Girl is tragically uncoordinated and decides to give up … until boy walks in to teach the next class and gives her a sly, flirtatious smile. Girl is hooked. A few months later, love becomes reality (and, eventually, so does a black belt).

On the night I made my sort-of statement of faith, we’d been happily married for four years. We had recently decided to start trying to have kids, and there had been many discussions about wanting to raise those kids with a strong religious foundation. But what religion? We felt as though we didn’t quite fit in with the traditions in which we’d been raised — Catholic for me, vaguely Christian for him. 

At the time, I’d been working as a pianist for more than two years at Temple Ahavat Shalom, a Reform synagogue in Northridge. This amazing community is full of people who made me think to myself, “I don’t know what it is about these people, but I want to be like them. I want to be a part of it.” I soon figured out that “it” was being Jewish. 

I also spent two years working for the acclaimed Israeli film, television and concert composer Sharon Farber, who introduced me to the world of Jewish music, culture, values and faith. Eventually, I heard this still, small voice deep within me whispering that I, too, had stood at the foot of Sinai, that my soul was Jewish, even if I hadn’t realized it. 

I had fallen head over heels for Judaism. 

God bless the incredible man I married. Adam took my revelation in stride, and said he would think about the possibility of us both converting and raising our future children in the Jewish faith. He took a year to read the Tanakh, and bought every book about Judaism he could get his hands on. (This is a man who doesn’t even buy a sweater until he has researched it thoroughly and read all the reviews on Amazon.) 

A year later — three months after our son was born — he returned with his answer: He had found deep meaning, spiritual fulfillment and powerful resonance in the teachings and values of Judaism. He was ready to commit to converting. And when my husband is ready for something, he’s ready (he proposed to me after we’d been dating for only three months, after all). 

As we went on the journey of converting together, it was like we were discovering each other all over again. It’s a uniquely challenging and joyful experience to convert to Judaism as an adult, and most of the people in our Miller Introduction to Judaism class at American Jewish University already had a Jewish partner to help guide them. 

Together we made mistakes, pronounced things incorrectly, discovered there is dairy hidden in all kinds of foods you wouldn’t expect, stumbled over Hebrew, and navigated how we would tell our parents and families about our decision. We chose Hebrew names, and I took a dunk in the mikveh with our nearly 2-year-old son when I was almost nine months pregnant with our daughter. 

We shopped online for Judaica that most Jews are given as bar or bat mitzvah presents, or get handed down to them. Adam ordered a beautiful wool tallit from Israel and our rabbi took him to get a set of tefillin, celebrated afterward by sampling traditional Israeli food for the first time. For my birthday this past summer, Adam gifted me with my own handmade silk tallit. 

The process of “becoming” Jewish strengthened our bond as a couple in ways I hadn’t anticipated, deepening our understanding of each other’s inner lives and external goals. Little by little, we’ve incorporated more Judaism into our daily routine. We still haven’t figured out how to keep kosher in the comically tiny kitchen of a house built in 1947, but we’re getting there. 

Thanks to a super supportive family, who all gathered around us for our daughter’s simchat bat (celebration of the daughter) ceremony after she was born in August, and our family of friends from our temple and the Miller program, we are so proud and happy to be Jews by Choice. 

Will life give us more surprises as my dear husband and I continue on our journey together? Probably none as big as the bomb I dropped on him three years ago. And yet … I do enjoy keeping him on his toes. 


Christy Carew Marshall is a composer for film, television, advertising and the concert world. She’s a devoted wife, happy mom of two gorgeous children and proud Jew by Choice.


Do you have a story about dating, marriage, singlehood or any important relationship in your life? Email us at meant2be@jewishjournal.com.

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