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When is the right time for a senior to change residences?

As a geriatric social worker for more than 11 years, Renee Gates has seen the psychological and practical issues at play in a move from one’s permanent residence — especially when it involves transitioning into a retirement community.
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June 3, 2015

As a geriatric social worker for more than 11 years, Renee Gates has seen the psychological and practical issues at play in a move from one’s permanent residence — especially when it involves transitioning into a retirement community. 

“It’s actually a medical issue called Relocation Stress Syndrome or Transitional Trauma. … It’s a real thing,” Gates told a crowd of more than 100 people during a daylong event on “Housing Alternatives in the Later Years,” May 13 at Leo Baeck Temple. “These are physiological and psychological disturbances that result from the transfer from one setting to another.”

On top of the stigma attached to retirement communities, the mechanics of such a move bring about challenges. These range from a change in routine to the necessity of downsizing. 

“Instead of downsizing, I like to call it right-sizing,” Gates said, eliciting chuckles from the audience. “The process can actually be liberating. It can relieve you of stuff that owns you.” 

The theme of independence was prevalent throughout the day’s programming and served as the impetus for planning the event, according to Susan Bauman, 74, a founding member of Leo Baeck’s Community of Elders, which organized the day. 

“Most people in this group aren’t quite there yet, in terms of leaving their own homes or apartments. However, a lot of people are aware it’s coming,” Bauman told the Journal. “We’ve decided that we want to figure out our own next steps in where and how we live, rather than be at the mercy of adult children who feel responsible for picking ‘a place for mom.’ ”

Harriet Soares, 73, a clinical social worker with 20 years of experience who served on the committee that planned the event, drew on her own history and implored onlookers to take planning ahead seriously. After an ice skating accident, Soares was limited in what she could do around the house but didn’t want to leave. 

“I wanted to remain in control. I wanted to stay at home,” Soares said. “Giving up a home of many years can be painful.”

On the topic of household safety, Soares discussed how things changed after her accident. She had to consider everything. 

“I like to entertain and have company. When we first moved there, I was worried: ‘Will I still be able to do that?’ But entertaining at Fountainview is so much fun. You can have company over for dinner. You can even rent out a private dining room.” — Former L.A. City Councilmember Joy Picus, 84, a Fountainview resident

“I have a rail, but do I need a lift? I have to be more careful about electrical cords lying around. Are there [grab] bars in the shower? Do I have a nonslip shower mat? I set up a doorbell that hooked up to my phone so that I could answer the door with my phone,” Soares told the crowd. “We don’t want our self-image to change as we get older. At-risk people deny they need these things, but we can’t do that.” 

Joy Picus, 84, a former Los Angeles City Council member, tried to quell fears about the potential destination of a move. She currently lives with her husband, Gerry, a physicist, at the Los Angeles Jewish Home’s Fountainview complex, which features upscale housing for independent seniors. 

“There’s something for everyone here at Fountainview,” Picus said, beaming, to a roomful of peers. “They offer Israeli folk dancing, line dancing, Zumba, mahjong and bridge classes, and Spanish classes. I even bring in folks running for office, including half of the candidates in the runoff for the 45th Assembly District.” 

She told the Journal that her husband is partial to the talmudic study courses taught by scholar Rabbi Ben Zion Bergman. And being relieved of the responsibility of running a house has allowed Picus more time than ever to socialize, she said. 

“I like to entertain and have company. When we first moved there, I was worried: ‘Will I still be able to do that?’ ” Picus said. “But entertaining at Fountainview is so much fun. You can have company over for dinner. You can even rent out a private dining room for larger company.”

The Jewish Home reaches thousands of seniors annually through independent living, skilled nursing and Alzheimer’s disease-care residential services, as well as community-based programs.

“As a Jewish organization, we respect traditional Jewish values for all our patients,” Doug Morin, director of marketing and home care services, told the Journal. “We have the only facilities providing a kosher menu, we observe the High Holy Days, and we have synagogues on campus. It’s those little differences that make a big difference to our residents.” 

On the Leo Baeck campus, the synagogue’s Community of Elders has a mission statement: “There is a power in community …  and that’s what we are … a community. Leo Baeck Temple needs the wisdom of its elders, and its elders need each other.” While so many congregations are trying to lure millennials, the point here is not to forget the needs — and knowledge — of their more mature members.

Leo Baeck’s Community of Elders is made up of a senior group that meets regularly, enjoying a wide variety of programming and events. Bauman, who has a doctorate in psychology, co-chairs the program planning committee with Lucille Polachek. The group has blossomed over the five years since its inception, beginning with just four members. It now has upward of 120. 

“We’re made up of a lot of bright, experienced people with a lot of contacts. People our age have a lot of contacts,” Bauman said, adding that the group has managed to attract prominent speakers and presenters. Past guests have included sports journalist Bill Plaschke, as well as the three-time Academy Award-winning film composer duo Marilyn and Alan Bergman, of “Yentl” fame. 

The recent event about alternative housing was part of the group’s monthly Wednesday at the Temple series.   

“We have blossomed into a very vibrant group of leaders,” Bauman told the Journal. “This has become a supportive community of people who have gotten to know one another.”

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